bettering oneself

Juliette duck, as I have lived in various parts of the country I'm sure my Midlands accent has been modified over the years.
Someone who lives nearby recognised it as she went to college in the Midlands and pinpointed it quite accurately, however my Midlands friends think I sound Welsh now .

I'm a right Brummie me our kid (which incidentally I have never heard a Brummie say) We now live very near to the Black Country. Most people assume that all Brummies speak like Black Country people, especially in TV dramas, adverts etc (and that most of us are thick) but the accents are very different. When we first moved here and went shopping in the nearest town, I had no clue what anyone was saying. We went into Woolworths and asked the assistant if they had a tin of paint in a certain colour. Her reply was 'If it ay on the shelf we ay gor it'

Ethel I am surprised that you can be so judgmental of other people when you admit you set out to "better" yourself in your early years. Both in your judgement of yourself and of others, your "criteria" are so flawed they belong in a different decade-like the Fifties.
Surely you must see that you cannot judge the real worth of a person or their value in our society by externals like jogging bottoms? Look around you and try to see through your prejudices-I am sure you would be a more tolerant and ultimately a happier person.

Mind you KATY , I have theory that true "Brummies " call Birmingham City Centre TOWN. It is just the newbies that call it the City Centre .

I am Birmingham born & raised by the way.

Yes Nonu - We have always said 'going into town'. Younger folk now say 'going into Birmingham'. It will always be town to me

I think you should leave ETHEL to have her own thoughts Soutra,
It is not hurting or affecting you one iota , IMO.

My DB referred to each other as 'our kid' ( accent from a few miles further north than Brummijum)

There you go sweetie, we gals know what"s what eh?

17.58.
To KATY by the way.x

We do.

'ethel' is honest in her views and says she would find it hard to change now; her experiences have formed her views and how many of us have not changed one jot as a result of life experiences? How many Gnetters have true friends who behave badly and use bad language in general conversation in public? Come on, be honest!

Oops silly me thinking AIBU was a question which you could answer or even <whisper> express an opinion. but no, the thought police say "no can do" so just because it is not hurting me one iota I may not comment. How do you know that? And what if your censorship did hurt me deeply?
What price Free speech???? And who made you the universal arbiter?

SOTRA , was that post addressed to me ?

OOPS< TYPO SOUTRA

Well spotted. Nonu!

I travelled extensively as a child/teenager and found my accent changing dependent on where we were living at the time. It was simply the accent I heard most of and I naturally slipped into it. I still have a tendency to do that now but not to the same extent, often it's sort of an inverse snobbery if I'm honest as I don't want to be thought of as 'posh'

And if I am being honest rosequartz I would say that my life experiences have opened my eyes and widened my horizons. My issue was not with bad language (although I have some wonderful friends who can swear like a trooper should the need arise and if they are true friends that would not be a problem) but with the comment that OP "looks down on those she considers socially inferior" and "can't stand and looks down on people who wear baggy jogging pants" etc (today Thursday 09:36:40)

What is wrong with a plea to be more broadminded then?

Katek I did much the same for the same reasons. At one point, attending an American school, but not in the USA, I developed a beautiful American accent.

DH has a slight North Bucks accent that always deepens, not deliberately, when talking to others with regional accents.

I agree with you again, rosequartz.

It didn't strike me that ethel was particularly proud of the way she judges people, it's just the way she is, and anyone who had little self-confidence when younger can surely empathise with trying to find a way to 'fit in'.

Yes, it is an old-fashioned attitude these days, but I bet there are many (not of course on GN, heaven forbid!) who still hold similar opinions to ethel to some extent.

18.14.
You are a card SOUTRA, but I like you .
Nudge,Nudge , wink as D.E.would say!!

What are you talking about, Nonu? Just too abstruse for me, I am afraid.

soutra I think my horizons have been broadened considerably in my adult life too - but is that 'bettering myself'? I have questioned what the term means in previous posts (perhaps you didn't read them, this thread is getting quite long, so fair enough) and did poke fun at the thought of looking down at people or up to others when I posted a link to the Two Ronnies/John Cleese sketch. I hope I am broadminded.
The OP asked what we thought and I think we have given ethel a fair idea of our views. Obviously that teacher struck a chord with her which made her determined to 'better' herself. I can empathise with that as most of my schoolfriends' families were better off than mine.

I would 'look up' to people I admire who have achieved a great deal in life; I don't look down on people but have no truck with people who take the taxpayer for granted, be they people who refuse to work or MPs who fiddle their expenses. My friends come from all walks of life, some may be considered 'posh', some are resolutely what they would term 'working class'.

Apparently DH came home from boarding school (no, not a posh one) every term with a different accent and his DM used to sigh 'who have you been mixing with this term?'. Was he trying to fit in or is he a natural mimic like the rest of our family?

And yes, I can swear like a trooper (just ask DH) but wouldn't do so, or would try not to, if I was out in town!

I think we are talking completely at cross purposes * rosequartz*, I was talking about the comment re " looking down" on some people for reasons I thought questionable to say the least (not that there are any good reasons I can think of for "looking down" on anybody?) - jogging bottoms or being in receipt of benefits.
My plea was for greater tolerance, to be more broadminded and I thought OP could find greater happiness by being less judgemental. For which I was taken to task it seems!! I too had thought that OP was asking for opinions but Nonu seemed to feel I had no right to comment. Ah well.
The term "bettering oneself" is entirely alien to me. Aspiring to do or be the best one can is one thing, but I have never felt the inferior of anybody on account of their school or size of car or indeed of the number of bedrooms in their house!!!
I hope that clears it up?

Yes, of course Soutra. Ethel was asking for our opinions and we have given them!

Although when I was growing up I longed to have a bigger house than the one we were all squashed into (nice and comfortable though it was), a car and a telephone. Those aspirations would mean nothing to a child who had been brought up with those things, which many of my friends were. I hope that does not make me shallow!

Perhaps 'bettering oneself' is a term used in certain parts of the country for 'aspiring to do or be the best one can' anyway.

Soutra,19.51. you go ahead in your usual little way, didn't say you could not comment,just think it might be kind to allow Ethel. to have her own thoughts .