bettering oneself

But some people do pick up accents unconsciously - and some never lose theirs! Relatives who went to Canada 50+ years ago are a case in point - he never lost his accent but she has been truly 'Canadian' for years.

I notice both DDs have an Aussie twang. I don't think they are grovelling, I think that many people tend to pick up the accent of people they mix with or live with.

I still use rollers, those big velcro ones

Changing the way one speaks when speaking to a person one considers posh isn't bettering one's self , it's just saying - you will not accept me as i truely am , sorry but for me it's a form of grovelling

One of the benefits of a religious education was having it constantly drummed into me that we are all equal in the sight of God.

That knowledge does not stop people being aspirational and ambitious to make the most of their abilities and achieve all in life that they can. Nor does it stop one feeling admiration and respect for those who overcome all kinds of obstacles, to achieve what they achieve in life.

But at the end of the day these people are made of the same stuff as us, came into being the same way and will leave it the same way. I am not going to be deferential to anyone just because I admire them nor will I expect deference from nor treat worse someone whose behaviour I deplore.

It is all in the interpretation of the phrase 'bettering yourself' isn't it.

If bettering yourself means striving hard under whatever circumstances to achieve a better standard of living than you had as a child then why not? If you earn more, then you pay more tax some of which should be going to help those who are less fortunate than you - or yourself if you fall on hard times.

It doesn't mean being snobbish and looking down on people who have less than you or have an accent.

However, I do get the feeling from some posts that many Gnetters (not all!) came from very 'middle-class' backgrounds and therefore would not have that urge to 'better themselves' because they took for granted a certain standard of living and expectations of higher education.

I agree with rosequartz - and it's actually refreshing to hear someone admitting to certain attitudes which seem to be unacceptable to those who have responded.

I think (for what its worth) that we are all surely as good as we could be, given whatever circumstances we find ourselves in.

I don't look up or down to anyone. I am who I am, take me or leave me. I couldn't talk posh to save my life and nor would I want to. On the other hand I always try to be polite and treat everyone as I would wish to be treat.

I hate snobs.

I didn't realise people still used rollers these days anyway! Fancy that!

I think ethel is being totally honest; how many others can say that?

Of course most people wish to better themselves. If I had not and no progress had been made by others, I would still be trekking down the road in the cold and rain to put 4d in the public telephone to make a phone call.

If the majority of people did not want to 'better themselves' no-one would achieve anything.
However, that does not mean looking down on people who are less fortunate than ourselves, I think ethel means those who make no effort.

Nor does it mean we are going to turn into Hyacinth Buckets - or this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2k1iRD2f-c

I know my place!!

ethelbags, sadly there will be people with the same mind set as you who look down on you as you look down on others. I would rather talk to a person who replies with a uh or na, than a person who puts on an affected accent .

Snobs irritate me but I do feel so sorry for them , they must surely be unhappy having to work out who they should struggle to impress and who they should turn up their noses at

lovely neat girls I meant!

We went to Liverpool recently and I saw some young girls in the city centre with rollers in their hair. They were lovely near girls. I loved it. It reminded me of my teenage years, popping into town to buy something new for a night out with our rollers in. What's wrong with that?

What if they are indeed lovely people, not greedy, self-centred or thick, and are replying with sympathy and concern to your posts about your fears about cancer - but they are on benefits, can't hold down a job, and spend the day sitting at their laptop in their scruffy jogging pants with rollers in their hair.

There are standards in other directions than appearance or education.

Iam 64
probably, I cant imagine anyone being interested enough to go on a site like this one which is supportive and has kind hearted members, if they are self centred, greedy or just thick.

Iam 64
probably, I cant imagine anyone being interested enough to go on a site like this one which is supportive and has kind hearted members, if they are self centred, greedy or just thick.

Oh right then ethelbags- does that mean you believe all the gransnetters here have the same, or higher standards than you ?

I do look up and down on people and I will give an example, I know a lady who is really posh, she is very nice but I tend to be extra polite to her, I would never use slang and would try to speak more clearly, lose the accent a bit and I would dress up a bit if I was to visit her. I think that many people would be offended if visitors turn up in scruffy clothes etc.

However I do look down on people who I regard as socially inferior, the benefit scroungers, those who are socially inept and before I get angry replies, I do not refer to those who have lost their job and are struggling to find another or who are like me just been diagnosed with a serious illness, I mean those who are long term unemployed and who couldn't hold down a job it they tried and obviously don't want to.

In my job I mix with all levels of society and often I find people who just cant speak in an educated manner, they irritate me. People who say 'eh' or those that just shrug their shoulders and look blank . How difficult is it to say something like, 'Im really busy, cant stop to talk' or similar.

I also cant stand and look down on people who go out in baggy jogging pants and scruffy worn clothing, I often wear old things but they are clean. Also people who wear jamas at the shops, rollers in their hair etc
That's my rant for today but I really will not mix with people who have lower standards than me.

Surely 'betterment' is an old word for the modern 'aspirational'. If it means working hard and taking opportunities to widen the range of careers on offer and being able to choose those which offer one the best chances of economic advantage, why not?

If it is all about acquiring social graces, Hyacinth Bucket syndrome, and looking down or up to those who do things the 'right' or 'wrong way. That's daft.

i am no better or worse than anyone else.
I have lived my life accordingly and although of humble background leaving school without qualifications I never felt out of place with academics and was always accepted for the person I am.

Yer munna say wunna it inna polie, duck

Jus catchin the buzz down town, d'yer wan anythin?

As they say where I come from.

Do you mean 'Oh 'eck' lol

Oh heck, I wouldn't last 5 minutes in Hull !

True Hull or should I say 'Ull speak rarely uses 't' in the middle or end of a word or 'h' at the beginning of a word. We have a very nasally 'o' sound and a very enlongated 'er' sound in the middle of words. Sometimes we also use the 'er' sound instead of the long 'o' sound. 'There' and 'they' are pronounced the same.

Someone once produced a English/Hull dictionary called

Learn To Speak Hull......Leeern t' speak 'Ull

It had many gems including:

fern curls.....phone calls
curdless ferns.....cordless phones
Pearls.....Poles
The Perp...the Pope

and my favourite

ner smirkin'.......no smoking

It went the other way for me. Fairly newly qualified in the area of Horticulture, I went to work for a large tree and shrub nursery in Lincolnshire as a propagator. My boss was a lovely local man with a very strong Lincs accent (a sort of mild Yorkshire with added extras really). After two weeks of my RP he could bear it no longer and said that I had to flatten my Arse like everyone else! It took a lot of laughter from the others and explanations, before I realised that I now had to say 'watter' those plants to the casuals, not 'waughter'.