Gransnet forums


to feel annoyed my comments were seen as 'rude'

(44 Posts)
Penstemmon Mon 26-Jan-15 21:15:19

On a local forum a young woman asked how soon a landlord should repair her boiler because it was freezing and she had 2 kids and it had been off since yesterday (Sunday). I responded that it should be as soon as possible but pointed out that homeowners often also had to wait until a) they could afford to repair it, b) a heating engineer was available so meanwhile layer up and make lots of hot soup! She got very angry with me and then threw in that both her kids had some disability that made them vulnerable.... I then got abuse from all and sundry for my 'rude' comments!

Soutra Mon 26-Jan-15 21:17:31

Ho hum sometimes it is hard when people won't take any responsibility for their own lives, but have to blame somebody.

Penstemmon Mon 26-Jan-15 21:45:43

soutra thank you for that! I did feel she was expecting miracles! I know it will be hard if you have little income to go out and buy an extra heater but the attitude(that a few folk have) that everything should be an instant 'fix' and without having to do much about it yourself really annoys me.
feeling better now I have let off steam!

Wheniwasyourage Mon 26-Jan-15 21:50:05

And how exactly were you meant to know that her children were disabled? YANBU!

rosequartz Mon 26-Jan-15 22:05:34

SIBU (if you see what I mean.

How on earth did we manage before central heating?

Perhaps the landlord could have lent her a safe, portable heater if she has absolutely no-one in the world who can help.

durhamjen Mon 26-Jan-15 22:28:04

I'd be a bit concerned if I had two young children and no boiler for over 24 hours in this weather.
I imagine if someone on this site said something similar you would have been sympathetic, Penstemmon.

People do not necessarily want to spread the fact that their children are disabled. Disabled people do not move around as much and need more heat.

Anya Mon 26-Jan-15 22:35:21

Perhaps she was too busy posting online about her plight to think about doing something herself. Wouldn't the children have been at school or nursery today where it was warm anyway?

Anya Mon 26-Jan-15 22:36:46

PS She doesn't say her children are disabled just that they have a disability. That can mean many things.

jinglbellsfrocks Mon 26-Jan-15 22:46:02

What was the point in criticising her? How would that have helped? Why not just let it go?

Marelli Mon 26-Jan-15 22:48:59

My granddaughter has a council house and has been without heating or hot water for 3 weeks as the boiler needed a new part. She has a 4-year-old boy, who does go to nursery for a half-day every day. We gave her a radiant heater, but that didn't help an awful lot in these freezing temperatures. However, she contacted the council and they loaned her some heaters. She and her wee boy showered at her mum's. Thankfully all's sorted with the boiler now.
I would hope any landlord would offer some sort of heater when the system fails - and would they not have a maintenance contract to ensure that repairs are carried out as promptly as possible, anyway?
My granddaughter wouldn't have been able to afford to go and buy heaters, so it's just as well the council were able to lend her some. smile

Anya Mon 26-Jan-15 22:49:58

DID Pen criticise her? Reading her post it sounds as if she merely offered some advice. I think....

Ana Mon 26-Jan-15 22:50:41

Of course you were not being unreasonable, Penstemmon. The landlord would be just as much at the mercy of the utility company as the rest of us. Some people just have an overweening sense of entitlement.

Anya Mon 26-Jan-15 22:52:15

Perhaps the young mother was just at the end of her tether and needed someone to shout at.

Ana Mon 26-Jan-15 22:57:47

After only 24 hours? We had to spend 12 days without heating when our boiler packed in - good old British Gas couldn't fit a new one before then despite OH being a vulnerable older person according to their records!

Anya Mon 26-Jan-15 23:02:59

Our posts crossed Ana - I was trying to see it from her point of view, but I agree with your point about an 'overwhelming (?) sense of entitelment'.

If it had been me I'd have got off my iPhone backside and do what Marelli's daughter did ie try to sort out some temporary heating.

janeainsworth Mon 26-Jan-15 23:06:35

YANBU Penstemmon.
I can't imagine you being rude to anyone.

Marelli Mon 26-Jan-15 23:07:53

She's my granddaughter, Anya! I was quite proud of her, actually, because she's a bit shy and doesn't like to make a fuss. However, obviously the fact that her wee boy (my great-grandson) was suffering by being in a cold house made her a bit braver. She's on her iPhone a lot too, come to think of it.....wink

petallus Mon 26-Jan-15 23:10:57

Penstemmon's post could have been experienced as abrupt. In fact it obviously was.

The young woman was asking for information. Why the mean comments?

Nelliemoser Mon 26-Jan-15 23:11:04

"Soutra" yes it's blaming all and sundry. You cannot just find a heating engineer or the right spare part at the drop of a hat, but does a private landlord have any duty to offer back up heating in such circumstances?

It seems a lot of people these days seem unable to accept that things do break down without anyoone being at fault.

Airports get fog and snow bound, volcanos erupt and there will be delays and chaos and people will be inconvenienced but a lot of people caught up in these situations seem to start demanding someone to blame.

Anya Mon 26-Jan-15 23:14:02

Sorry Marelli wrong generation!

Nelliemoser Mon 26-Jan-15 23:18:21

Well it might have been taken as as abrupt people can misconstrue anything.
I don't see what is wrong in suggesting some one wraps up warm in those circumstances.
It's not as if Penstemmon could have done anything else to help she is not this persons landlord.

Ana Mon 26-Jan-15 23:18:58

My use of 'overweening' was correct, Anya.

jinglbellsfrocks Mon 26-Jan-15 23:25:45

I think she might have thought of the wrapping up warm thing herself. hmm

FarNorth Mon 26-Jan-15 23:33:30

Nothing wrong with the suggestion to wrap up warm but why the mention of home-owners and what they can afford? It isn't relevant to the question asked and does sound like some sort of criticism.
One of the advantages of being a tenant is that it is the landlord's responsibility to get things fixed and you (the tenant) don't have to wait till you can afford it.

kittylester Tue 27-Jan-15 06:50:48

We don't know what the original person said about 'homeowners'. Pen was maybe answering a point in the first post!