... to think that it is wrong that pregnancy is nowadays too often considered an illness?

Well, it is good to hear. The young women I am talking about are perhaps different in so many ways. Expats living abroad- so perhaps part of the panic is linked to that- being away from the comfort, knowledge and support from mum (mom..) and family. Which is understandable I suppose and I am glad to read they are not representative of Western women in general. Excellent news.

I don't agree that young women treat pregnancy like an illness, not here in the UK.Just the opposite I would have thought, and I have wished that sometimes family members would take things a bit easier.I think perhaps that back in the past society did treat pregnancy this way, but not any more.As others say, all pregnancies are different, some a breeze and others a nightmare.

But do young women treat pregnancy as an illness nowadays? I've not noticed. DD and her friends seem to carry on as normal, wear tight clothes (no horrible tents for them), put pics of their bumps on Facebook, show around their scan pictures, book in for special spa days and generally revel in the whole process. And good luck to'em, too.

I never felt really ill when pregnant.
With the first one, believe it or not I didn't realise I was pregnant, but thought I had a tummy upset. So went to the doctor and he gave me some pills. Soon after the truth dawned, and I panicked because it was at that time the thalidomide scare started. Had he given me thalidomide? It was prescribed for tummy upsets.
So I went back to him and TG it wasn't thalidomide.

I did put more weight on than I should have on first pregnancy- I felt so well but did get cravings. Not massive amounts, can't remember the figures- but again, I lost it all very quickly, and more, within a couple of months of birth, without trying- and again, I'm sure that is the breastfeeding that helped. A bit painful after a Ceasarian, but breastfeeding does act on your tummy muscles and really pull them in back into place too- but I am sure it also drained any excess fat.

I don't understand the eating for two or four or whatever. When I was pregnant I just ate what I felt was the right amount and, indeed, the right things for me. (My well-over 9-lb baby clearly had had enough nutrients to grow.) I didn't diet after giving birth and breastfed for quite a long time. I was back in my jeans about two weeks after giving birth – not because I tried to become my usual fairly slim self – it just happened.

I agree with you FlicketyB I put on 28 pounds with both my babies. Admittedly I took longer to lose the weight after the second one, but it wasn't a problem. With the first pregnancy I was eating for about 4 rather than 2 and 28 pounds was the most I could put on. I can't imagine how much I would have to have eaten to catch up with some of the celebs!

I agree with soutra completely about it taking a long time to get back to normal after a C Section.
Getting in and out of bed is painful. You feel as if your incision is going to tear with even small movements. Walking upright painful and the stitches pull for a long time after the incision has healed.

My DD had a forceps delivery with first baby but she was getting about much better when she came home at just over 24hrs than I could at two weeks when I came out of Hospital . I had a Csection after a long labour and it was already known my Pelvis was a bad child rearing shape. So no 2 was an elective section.
I do think I recovered better after no 2 . I suspectit was because I knew what to expect and I was prepared for how long it would take to recover.

My DD has generally been well throughout her first and this pregnancy . She has stopped working at about 7.5 months as she could barely reach her patients to nurse them once her bump was getting in the way.

Nursing is too physical a job for late pregnancy. When working in situations not involving heavy physical activity continuing until late pregnancy is quite possible.

I was told morning sickness was week 6 - 16. For me it was 6 - 36 at least.

What I cannot understand is why so many women put so much weight on in pregnancy. We were told 21 - 28 pounds and both I and most of my friends were back to our pre-pregnancy weights within a month without dieting. We didn't expect otherwise. I put on 1 stone during my first pregnancy (and had a 9lb baby) and 2 stone in my second.

I think with celebrities they often several stone underweight when they become pregnant in order to have the fashionably emaciated look and in pregnancy return to a normal weight for their height, plus, baby weight and it is the return to emaciation that makes their weight gain and loss look excessive.

I was working as a nurse while pregnant with DS1 but had such terrible sickness I had to give up work at 20 weeks. I was a SAHM when pregnant with DS2 but suffered no sickness at all.
I am also in agreement about leaving hospital too early after having babies now.Both of mine were born by EMCS and I was in hospital for two weeks afterwards.After DS1 birth I was very ill and not allowed out of bed for three days.Both of my DILs were out of hospital the next day, except for DGD3.She was born prematurely by EMCS, her mother was in for a week, baby kept in for six weeks.
My DGD2 has recently had a baby, she worked up till 36 weeks in an office job. She and baby, a water birth, came home the next day.The baby was refusing to feed properly and she had to express milk and give it to him by a syringe.Thankfully he soon got the idea and is now four months old and thriving, he is now at the stage of putting everything into his mouth!.

DD sailed through her first pregnancy, as befits someone very fit and used o swimming and cycling regularly. With the second one she had the sof5ening of the pelvis and was practically crippled, wearing a corset and hobbling about like an old lady. All this while working full time and looking after a six year old. It shouldn't bē an illness but sometimes it is.

soutra at one time I would have agreed, I was very private, but then I discovered that I couldn't often find what I needed to know in books, I still can't. Places like this where people are prepared to share their experiences are invaluable. Books only skim the surface of things like having a baby, the menopause and so on, because it wasn't seen as 'nice' to talk about it. So it was impossible to find out if you were potentially in trouble or not, and most doctors are still male and many female doctors haven't had either children or the menopause.

No-one in my family had ever had the softening of their pelvis, or the constant sickness, I swear they thought I was making it up. When you have a pony to look after and four dogs to exercise and cats and a huge garden, and everyone else had a straightforward pregnancy and thinks you are being a lazy wimp and won't help you out, it's not much fun!

I had to go on maternity leave at 29 weeks. There was no question of me working any further into the pregnancy. To be honest I think my boss was terrified I might give birth in the office lol. But I didn't think it was wrong either. Everyone I knew stopped work at 29 weeks. They held my job open but we all knew I wasn't going back. I was a full time mum and loved it.

I wish young girls would take better care of themselves these days. I hate the way they work up to the last minute and don't rest after the delivery. Having a baby isn't an illness but it is an extra strain on the body.

When I had my DDs a mother wasn't allowed to leave the house for 10 days and usually someone (a female family member) came to look after them and the house. I railed against the enforced imprisonment but, looking back, all I had to do for 10 days was rest, look after and bond with my baby.

I also think the enforced imprisonment was better for the baby. It must be a shock to the baby's system to suddenly be thrust out of the warm dark womb into a world of glaring light, noise and germs. I gringe when I see babies who are only a few hours old surrounded by the little germ factories known as children in the school playground.

Absolutely- first was by emergency Ceasarian (transversal breech) and second 'normal' - second was far far easier and quicker to recover. I never get that argument.

soutra we are anonymous on here, why not go into personal medical detail? (26 Feb)

Sorry janerowena, I was not ignoring your question, just hadn't spotted it. I suppose my answer is just that I don't choose to. Nothing to stop anybody else, but I have never been particularly interested in other people's medical details, gynaecological or otherwise, so I never expect to share my own! However I would question the comment that one's body returns to normal sooner after a C section than a vaginal birth!! The simple in ability to lift or drive within those first weeks is far from normal. Try getting a stroppy toddler into to a car seat or a carrycot up to a first floor flat after a section.

We had a 'baby chair' in one office - everyone who sat in it got pregnant. I think maybe it was because that particular job was so boring that babies seemed preferable!

When I was working one of the secretaries said that she was first pregnant when working in a big typing pool. She told her boss and he moved her to a small room away from the others "in case they get the same idea"
That would be in the 1970s.

So absolutely agree that some pregnancies, or part of, have always been very difficult for some women, and some pregnancies and not others.

My point was that it seems that so many young women now, start to consider pregnancy as an 'ordeal' or a form of sickness right from the start. This is not a criticism, I just find it sad, really. I agree that I was lucky, like Absent, to feel absolutely great when beign pregnant, and able to work almost right to the end.

Sailed through first two pregnancies. Worked up to 30 odd weeks with first 12 hour nights in a special care baby unit. Was stay at home mum for babies 2 and 3. Third pregnancy was a nightmare constant sickness until I was 7 months pregnant then just constant nausea! Couldn't walk because of the stretched pubic muscles described by others on here, SO tired didn't know what to do with myself and looking after a 7 year old and a 4 year old who I had to get to school and nursery every day. Husband at the time was working abroad so had to manage. Oh and had post partum haemorrhage at home with baby no 2 , luckily wasn't on my own that day. So I think all pregnancies are different but in normal circumstances no they are not an illness.

It is always was a hard thing to be pregnant. My wife had problems with it and we had to take this medicine - www.proinfomed.com/drug/clomid - glad that all became good.

Obviously women have different experiences of pregnancy and I am quite prepared to believe that for some it is nine months of purgatory. I have never felt so well or looked so well as I did when pregnant. The only tricky bits – apart from the birth itself – were slight morning sickness (in the evenings) at the very beginning and some discomfort and indigestion in the last couple of weeks. Absentdaughter was quite a big baby.

My daughters have had far less preparation and care when pregnant than I did 40 years ago. Ante natal checks are minimal and classes reduced to 1 or 2. My daughters worked right up until labour began, left hospital within hours and got no help with breast feeding.
New parents are left to muddle through without any help, usually far from even their own mums.Thank God for Mumsnet, I so wish it had been around for me, but I did get adequate care for my babies and me before and after birth.

And let's not forget having to get up to go to the loo half a dozen times some nights.

But I can see why some bosses are so unsympathetic - they are mainly men who have no understanding, unless they have wives who have suffered. That alone is enough to drive women to want to leave work early, if they can. As for electing to have a caesarean - although it is surgery, the body recovers more quickly than after a normal birth, in many cases, which means that women can get back to work faster and feeling less tired. There are so many more women in highly-paid jobs now, who cannot afford to have someone else try to steal their jobs while they are on maternity leave. I read about one woman who had to hide her pregnancy as a fashion designer for a big fashion house, she knew she would lose her job by underhanded means if it was discovered. She manged to disguise it by wearing loose flowing garments, which were very fashionable as the 'lagenlook' at the time, and then booked her caesarean in her holiday leave. She was a single parent and felt that in such a misogynistic field, she had no other choice.

I just found this

www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2015/02/25/pregnant-dads-mothers-day_n_6752172.html?1424886111&ncid=tweetlnkushpmg00000067

I know it's not a new thing, but it really brought back to me how scared I was once when I got in the bath one day when I was alone in the house, and then found I couldn't get back up again!

Yes, with DS my life carried on perfectly as normal, I went to a school science presentation at DD's school the night before I gave birth and her teachers all told me afterwards that they were petrified that I might have the baby at school!

Soutra we are anonymous on here, why not go into personal medical detail? When I wanted to find out about menopausal problems, it was precisely that way of thinking that made it so hard for me to find out whether some of my symptom were normal or not.

And so, when I was given iron and folic acid tablets with DD, I thought I was seriously ill when I saw what effect they had on me! Even the people who gave them to me didn't warn me!

I too was having to hump around hay when pregnant with DD, even though I felt seriously ill. We just got on with it. I have no idea now how I managed it. I remember thinking, how the hell was I ever going to manage to trim the pony's hooves, I couldn't bend down to do up my shoes let alone pick up his feet, but luckily he was in an obliging mood.

I think people forget over the years just how hard it is to be pregnant. The knocks on tables edges that make you feel sick to your core. Constantly misjudging distances, being constantly tired, knowing you are waddling, swollen feet and fingers, wearing the same clothes for months and crying when you still have to put them on at first afterwards, discovering what you can and cannot eat. It was very interesting to have experience of both extremes of pregnancy situations, it has made me far more sympathetic to pregnant women.