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AIBU

... to think that it is wrong that pregnancy is nowadays too often considered an illness?

(64 Posts)
granjura Wed 25-Feb-15 18:25:58

On an expat Forum here- so many young women expect to get a medical certificate to allow them not to work during pregnancy. Am I the only one who feels sad that pregnancy is so often seen as a 'problem and an illness'?

Of course this is the case for many, for all sorts of reasons- but really should not become the norm. Or???

rubylady Thu 26-Feb-15 02:08:55

felice I did watch that programme. I had to fast forward the eating the placenta bit though. Totally put me off my black cherry yoghurt! grin

The one I would have done is the boat lady one, although the pow wow with the mates was a bit strange, I'd not do that bit.

I suppose it takes all sorts but they were extreme cases which is normal for tele these days. They do like to show the opposite ends of society, be it council tenants or rich people.

You are right, the husbands didn't really get a look in and the children looked very shocked by what was going on with the baby and it's placenta handbag. (?????) Wierd.

rubylady Thu 26-Feb-15 02:00:51

janer and rose I too had symphysis pubic dysfunction (SPD) (sounds like some sort of orchestra) where the ligaments in the pubic bone become too soft and separate causing pain and difficulty walking. It was agony. I couldn't even put my slippers on. I got given a belt to support my hefty son inside me but it was of no use really. That was pregnancy no 2. I had the SPD from about 23 weeks until birth at 39 weeks.

I wasn't working anyway with this pregnancy as I was a stay at home mum. Good job as I got pulmonary oedema and PND after my DS. Fun eh?

With my first pregnancy I worked up to 25 weeks, morning sickness from wk 7 to 14 but still worked. At 25 weeks I was admitted to hospital with pre eclampsia and remained in until birth at 37 weeks, although the French sister on duty did have me cleaning out the fish tank. I think I was a team member by the time I got home! It was ok for a first child although it did put me off having any more for a while as I was scared of it happening again and not having anyone to look after my DD. As it happened, apart from the SPD I sailed through the second pregnancy until after the birth. But then I did deliver my son in 57 minutes, from start to finish. hmm

Eloethan Wed 25-Feb-15 23:54:04

I worked up to around a month before. I used to feel a bit nauseous in the evenings and my first pregnancy was the only time ever that I nearly fainted. It was all too good to be true - both labours were awful.

My son's partner worked until about 2 weeks before both pregnancies and looked and felt 100% healthy throughout - didn't even get tired or slightly nauseous in the first few weeks.

I noticed a pregnant lady at Zumba the other night - and it is a very energetic class.

Soutra Wed 25-Feb-15 23:49:37

Don't see the necessity or desirability of going into personal medical detail on a public forum.

Soutra Wed 25-Feb-15 23:47:27

I have answered phoenix's question, to her.

Anya Wed 25-Feb-15 23:25:17

Downward dog!

Anya Wed 25-Feb-15 23:24:46

My DiL was determined her pregnancies weren't going to stop her doing anything. I was so worried about some of her gym classes that I joined her gym in the pretext I wanted to get fit and asked her to mentor me by taking me to her classes.

Body pump, body balance, some kind of kick boxing aerobics class, yoga (ever seen a very pregnant downword dig?) etc. it nearly killed me. DiL was fine hmm

harrigran Wed 25-Feb-15 23:05:35

With my first baby I was sick for nine months and had horrible sciatica for the last three months, I gave up work 10 weeks before the birth because I was a nurse and I wasn't coping with the long hours. DIL worked until two weeks before birth of both GDs but she did have a desk job and drove to and from work.

numberplease Wed 25-Feb-15 22:59:19

In the factory where I used to work, every time a young woman became pregnant, it seemed to set off a signal for being off work ill. I know that some pregnancies don`t go well, but all of them? Once they became pregnant, they were hardly ever at work.

Ana Wed 25-Feb-15 22:51:15

And in reply to phoenix's question...?

Soutra Wed 25-Feb-15 22:49:55

Love felice's comment!grin

Soutra Wed 25-Feb-15 22:48:50

You said
the only women I have heard of having elective caesareans are in the media or high flying business women etc

I know what granjura said and her subsequent posts made that clear.
#justsaying.

felice Wed 25-Feb-15 22:44:54

Did anyone see the programme on BBC2 last night with 4 mums-to-be.
One a selective ceaserian, one a self birth with no assistance at all DIY, and two home Lotus births, one of whom turned the placenta into a smoothy.
I wasn't really sure what to think, there is 7 years between each of my children so i saw a lot of fads.
To be honest i just thought they were letting what THEY kept calling a natural experience to completely take over their lives.
I felt really sorry for the Fathers and the other children, kept muttering 'get over yourself', I doubt if you are about to birth the next Messiah.
Just my point of view, shoot me down if you want to, Women give birth every minute all over the world, they just get on with it!!

Lilygran Wed 25-Feb-15 22:34:30

I don't think it is, granjura. My DDiL gave birth to two out of three DGS before she started her maternity leave and took no time off a very demanding job during all her pregnancies. Some women (Duchess of Cambridge?) have an awful pregnancy and others sail through. Bit like menstruation and the menopause - some women seem to have no problems and others are really incapacitated. I was one of the lucky ones but I know a number of other women who weren't. However, I had post-natal depression with my first DS and couldn't have gone out to work for almost a year but I hadn't renewed my contract. Maternity leave was about six weeks!

Ana Wed 25-Feb-15 22:00:28

Well of course my 'in between meetings' comment was tongue in cheek! hmm

Elective C sections for non-medical reasons have probably been commonplace among the rich and famous for a long time. I thought you were talking about more ordinary ex-pats, granjura!

granjura Wed 25-Feb-15 21:47:07

Elective as in pre-planned, rather than emergency on the day. But for medical reasons it is totally right. What I am talking about is the new phenomenon of many women- in the USA in particular, and also, as said, popular with wealthy expats where I live- choosing to have a ceasarian, not generally due to 'fitting birth in between meetings' - but mostly due to fear (call it 'too posh to push' if you wish) or much worse, artificially early to avoid physical 'disfigurment' (sp?) in the last few weeks.

I had an emergency section after a long labour as I would not dilate- and DD1 had the same for the first, and an elective for second. (I begged the obstetrician in Leics to allow me to try and give birth normally to second- and he agreed- providing I agreed to section should it become necessary. In the end forceps where required at the end, but I was so pleased I manged to go through normal labour to the end). Ceasarian's are real life-savers, and it is possible both DD1 and I would have died in labour without- but it should be only when it is medically necessary, no??

Ana Wed 25-Feb-15 21:46:22

Maternity leave didn't work like that when I was pregnant. You were entitled to so many weeks off before the birth, and so many weeks after. If you chose to work longer into the pregnancy, you forfeited that time (i.e. you couldn't have extra time off after the baby was born).

Has it changed now? I don't think it had when DD was expecting.

Tegan Wed 25-Feb-15 21:40:52

I had no understanding of how awful morning sickness can be until my daughter suffered from it [eg couldn't understand why anyone, at the time took thalidomide sad]. I do think that some women work for far too long so that they can spend use more of their maternity leave with the baby. My main gripe about pregnancy is how women are made to feel they should look glamorous up to the birth and become wafer thin straight afterwards.

Anne58 Wed 25-Feb-15 21:03:16

Sorry to ask, it might be that I haven't understood, but I'm a bit confused by your post, Soutra , "Well I had an elective C section for all 3DDs as it happens, for medical reasons" confused

grannyactivist Wed 25-Feb-15 20:47:00

Like others have mentioned I find the opposite is true and the pregnant women I have known have worked until the last possible moment.

rosequartz Wed 25-Feb-15 20:20:00

I was sick and ill all through my 1st pregnancy and left work at 5 and a half months (no maternity pay in those days anyway). I could not stay awake and felt much as janer describes apart from the carpal tunnel syndrome - but I did have extremely painful joints due to softening ligaments and could hardly walk. I felt as if I had 'flu all the way through.
I was dreading another pregnancy but sailed through that and the next one.

Did anyone see the story about the man who has gone sick because he is experiencing a phantom pregnancy in sympathy with his wife? hmm

Ana Wed 25-Feb-15 20:00:40

granjura's post referred to women having C sections 'for no medical reason' which is what I was replying to, Soutra. Of course sometimes it's a necessity!

annsixty Wed 25-Feb-15 19:59:41

I have certainly known many young women who think that they are unique in being pregnant and expect everyone else to treat them as if they are. But they do still work until the last minute while expecting everyone to kowtow to them and their condition.

Soutra Wed 25-Feb-15 19:57:35

Well I had an elective C section for all 3DDs as it happens, for medical reasons and am not an ex/media high flyer grin , but I would echo all the posts which state the opposite of OP! I think many Mums work probably for too long right up to the birth which may be fine but little do they realise how exhausting the next 6 or 9 months may be!

Ana Wed 25-Feb-15 19:52:08

'cesarean'