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AIBU

Forgotten birthday

(39 Posts)
SJP Wed 27-May-15 17:09:09

Yet again my 39 year old son has forgotten my birthday. No card, no messsge, no phone call. His girlfriend embarrassed by his behaviour sent flowers which was lovely. Now on his FB page he is posting birthdsy wishes to his cat, am I precious feeling hurt about this

Coolgran65 Thu 28-May-15 19:43:18

Is there a Mr SJP, does he get a gift.
Ds needs a wee word in his ear.... i.e. do you realise hurtful it is to your mother that you can't be --arsed- bothered to even buy her a birthday/Christmas/mother's day card.

Envious Thu 28-May-15 20:55:40

I'm sorry too SJP.cupcake I don't know what I'd do..but mine is easy for my son to remember it's exactly a week before his. I'd be tempted to forget his. I wouldn't dare remind him and make him feel obligated to remember.You want them to remember because they want to.I have to remind him of his grandmother's and fathers birthday.

SJP Fri 29-May-15 08:43:46

Yes there is a Mr Sjp and he does remember, no good him having a word as he is not very pleased and wouldn't handle it right. My son is so thoughtless and casually indifferent to other people's feelings that it makes me cross at times. Feel better for off loading Thanks all

SJP Fri 29-May-15 09:12:37

Yes there is a Mr Sjp and he does remember, no good him having a word as he is not very pleased and wouldn't handle it right. My son is so thoughtless and casually indifferent to other people's feelings that it makes me cross at times. Feel better for off loading Thanks all

Granne72 Sat 30-May-15 17:39:52

Not just sad but inexcusable. You just don't forget your mother's birthday. .. and possible to miss Mothers Day , but Christmas too !!
I think stern motherly words are needed, tell him i said so .

loopylou Sat 30-May-15 17:46:09

I'd be pretty mad, if he can remember his siblings' birthdays etc then what on earth is he playing at! As for missing Mothers Day and Christmas too.
My DS isn't the greatest card-sender but he always phones and DDIL generally sends the cards.

I'd flippin' well ask him why?!

thatbags Sat 30-May-15 17:55:09

In your shoes, SJP, I don't think I'd worry about my husband not 'handling' it very well. Sounds as of your son needs a metaphorical kick up the backside sort of approach anyway.

Jomarie Sat 30-May-15 18:31:17

DS2 lives away and each year at xmas he is given a slimline calendar with space for notes. On each month I (or recently his sister) have written in the family birthdays/wedding anniversaries/mother's day/father's day etc. No excuse for him to forget although he still manages to phone and say "card in the post" which then arrives 4 days later!!! Ah well - he tries. DS1 has similar shades to SJP's son - sometimes I get a card, sometimes not. I try not to care but I do. Fortunately DD (middle child) has (so far) never missed my birthday! Nice to know someone loves me smile

Jomarie Sat 30-May-15 18:39:47

SJP no, you are not being unreasonable - he's being an a... Ginny's idea of sending the cat a card next year is brilliant!! Don't not send him a card but make sure it's inappropriate i.e. flowers and glitter and sign it "lots of love from Mummy"!!! grin

Another example of "selfish" male pairing up with sweet female. At least if she becomes the DIL then you'll be lucky as will he!

MamaCaz Sat 30-May-15 18:42:05

I also like Ginny's suggestion - just send a card to the cat next time

Since my DSs got partners, I've started getting cards, and even presents. Before that, I rarely got anything. My DH is no better, yet gets the hump when people forget his birthday!

Would say it's a man thing, but at 11am today I suddenly remembered that it's DS2s birthday, and although I bought him a card a while ago, I'd totally forgotten to give it to him (or his partner) yesterday when they went away for a week's holiday.
That's bad enough, but until my 82 year-old mother mentioned it last weekend, I had somehow or other totally ovelooked other DS's birthday that was also coming up this week, and hadn't even thought about buying him a card blush. Thank goodness she mentioned it when she did!

I've had a very busy couple of weeks of work and DGC-minding duties. That's my excuse anyway, and I'm sticking to it!

whitewave Sat 30-May-15 18:44:10

What is it about men that they think that they have no need to remember people's birthdays, mothers day etc. They really need kicking up the ass at times.

Pippa000 Sun 31-May-15 07:26:27

The males in my family often forget important dates, DH even forgot out 42nd wedding anniversary, in spite of reminders. I try to send e-mails to DS and even DD and DiL has been 'programmed' to do the reminders, but even that fails. Perhaps it is the way their brains are wired?

Coolgran65 Sun 31-May-15 09:07:23

My birthday is soon. I have received a package from Amazon which is books (it always is) smile Sent direct from Amazon and saves postage from USA. Also a card direct from Moonpig on which is printed .....happy birthday mum from xxxxxx xxxxxx and xxxxxx, but nothing handwritten.
This is certainly an efficient way of doing things and I'm happy that he remembers without prompting.
As a scientist he is methodical and efficient.

I sometimes feel this method is a little impersonal...but on reading about those who receive no acknowledgement of any sort, perhaps I will just be happy that he makes the effort.