Bottle feeding mothers

Found out from posts on 27th and 28th April on the Facebook page for Channelmums ("do our short survey on baby feeding for a chance to win our I-pad") that it was on Surveymonkey. I couldn't go to the actual survey as it is now closed and Surveymonkey referred any questions to Channelmums.

Win AN i-Pad, not our i-Pad.

Good detective work Elegran
It's amazing how papers like the Daily Mail, even the Times, get hold of a small piece of "research" and make it out to be a universal truth. And many people believe it!

And some of those who really couldn't care less whether a baby is bottle or breastfed, so long as they don't have to get up through the night to do it, will follow what seems to be a trend and start criticising mothers too.

There is a lot on that Facebook page from bottle-feeding mothers who feelthat they have been "bressured" about breast-feeding and deplore the fashion for "brelfie" online photos of blissful babies and their smug-looking mums. In the left column is a post from someone who thinks Channel Mums have gone over the top.

I am a mother with two small kids (I browse here for perspective as I struggle with relationships with my mum and MIL) both bottle fed. I found with "my" midwives they put a lot more emphasis on telling you to breastfeed than helping you to breastfeed. I had PND with my first and the breastfeeding just exhausted me and made me resent him. I had a midwife I had never even met before tell me "if you give up breastfeeding I will be SO disappointed in you". Like I needed that when I spent half the day sobbing my heart out! Then of course she wanted to examine my stitches - how are you supposed to feel comfortable having your vulva prodded by someone who just made you feel like dirt? I wouldn't let her, of course. Thank god there were no problems!

With my second I breastfed in the hospital, but ran into the same latching problems again but was told it was all fine. This time I had no qualms giving him a bottle as soon as I was home. I had a one year old to run after, and my fiancé had to go back to work the next day so I didn't feel I had the mental space to try and establish breastfeeding. Luckily I didn't get the same nasty midwife, and the one I did have was lovely and understanding. I wish I'd taken a leaf out of SIL's book and shown the nasty one the door (though apparently that was over nappy rash cream).

I think it's best for a baby to have a mother who loves him and doesn't feel depressed and resentful.

Health visitors and midwives just can't win, can they? With a large % of mums saying they are being pushed to BF, and another large % of mums saying they are not given enough support to BF. So what are they supposed to do?

It is not an easy one- but the research is clear that BF is best- even if for a a short period of time- and possible with the right support for the vast majority of women. It is very rare that a woman is not able to BF or does not have enough milk, VERY rare indeed. And as said above, it is so much easier, no bottles, no sterilisation- on tap all the time- no getting up at night, no fuss when travelling- and at the same time best for the child.

But yes, a choice- but not an easy one to understand at times with all the evidence available shows that BF is best.

Not easy for my first one after an emergency Csection- as it hurts a lot due to BF encouraging contraction of uterus and all surrounding areas- but it got me very fit and slim very quickly, and the pain went after a few days. The second one was a doddle- both went straight to a cup at 8 months, with just a morning and evening feed which just slowly and naturally were phased out. Brilliant.

familyjuggling it sounds as though you were at the end of your tether. Please don't feel put out that you did not breast feed your children for long.

It may be true that, under optimun conditions, breast is best but bottle feeding is perfectly adequate and the best thing under some circumstances.

I did not breast feed my girls but I've done loads of other good things for my family in the Forty-eight years since then .

I started to breastfeed my first two. With the first I struggled in hospital (the Simpson) but hoped it would all go better when I got home (after a week in those days). It didn't. After another week or so I reached breaking point late one evening. I had bought a bottle for emergencies. I had no formula, so I watered down some cows milk and boiled it and cooled it. She took to it like a duck to water and we both slept better than we had since she was born. Next day we took a trip to buy formula, and never looked back.

With the second I was home in a couple of days. they were keen on breastfeeding in hospital, so I had started, but this time I didn't persist for as long before switching to the bottle. I had a toddler to cope with as well as a new baby.

With my third, I had made up my mind before the birth that he would be a bottle babe too. The Queen Mary maternity hospital was a bit more upmarket than the Simpson - ("amenity beds" for £1.50 a night) and their policy in was to take the babies into the nursery at night so that the mothers could sleep. They were brought back for feeds if they were on the breast, but not if they were bottle-fed. So I had a week of uninterrupted sleep before I took him home!

By then DS had been sleeping longer and longer before waking and wanting fed. The night before we went home, he didn't wake from 11 pm to 6 am - and that continued. I never did a feed for him in the middle of the night.

So - breastfeeding was twice utterly exhausting and stressful. Bottle feeding was a pleasure. All three were fit and healthy children, and are fit and healthy adults. The two girls have both breastfed their own children, their decision, I did not influence them one way or the other.