AIBU to think this is very rude

There does seem to be a problem with over familiarity with NanKates relatives; there's a very fine line between someone being comfortable in someone elses house [which is, obviously what most of us want when we have visitors] and being too comfortable...this is what has caused a lot of the problems within my family over the past few years.

brendawymms - are we supposed to clean across the tops of doors? Well nobody told ME that.
Definitely very wrong to read someone's letter.
janerowena how nice to give your DBH some gift vouchers. ???

if cards are on display in DD's house, then I look at them, and say "what nice cards" or something along those lines.Would not do that in any other house though, somehow it seems wrong, one of those things where there is no guidance socially,but feels a bit like reading letters not sent to you.

Do you remember the old song ' Make Yourself At Home' ?
put your feet on the mantel shelf,
Go to the cupboard and help yourself! Etc.

Bellanonna they were not 'gifts' that any MiL would like to see her DS receiving.

Although the all-over body massages would probably have been ok.

janerowena

So that is why our cards to each other stay firmly in our bedroom now! Not that they have offers like that in them as frequently nowadays.

Thank you so much Tegan for your comments I think you have hit the nail on the head these particular relatives are over familiar in what they say and do in my home. I am always polite and welcoming to them but wonder each time what misdemeanour (in my eyes) they will do next.

I have to be honest that I do hold somewhat of a grudge against them from years ago when they were rude about my DS. If anyone says anything against my son or grandchildren my hackles rise and I feel very protective.

Jane I love your voucher system it gave me such a laugh.

Yes it's obviously a reaction to the people, not the action. I wouldn't mind a bit if any of my children had a nose around my cards, but my MIL definitely would ( and does) and my teeth are immediately on edge. She will always make some negative comment.

Mine always wants to know who they are, and how do I know them. Sometimes I just look at her and say, I did have a life before I met you!

I had a look at DiL's cards recently. It's not something I've ever done before, and it did feel a little cheeky, but she wasn't there at the time so she'll never know

Eloethan: The nerve - I can hardly believe that your neighbour's adult daughter had the cheek to pick up your camera and look at the photos! That is a hundred times worse than looking at the messages in birthday cards that are on display.

Because I have a lot of people coming and going I get quite a lot of 'thank you' cards that I put on display for a while and often find guests and family members reading them. If people say something that's a bit OTT/embarrassing in a card then I put those cards up in my bedroom where they won't be read by all and sundry.