Gransnet forums


To have support for hospital appointment!

(64 Posts)
hildajenniJ Sat 04-Jul-15 17:52:20

I have to have further investigations at hospital following my recent mammogram. I asked my DH to accompany me, as it is a full day affair. DH asked his manager at work for the day off. She said no, and if he took the day off it would result in disciplinary action! Is this common policy in every workplace? One of the ethical values of the Co-op is "caring for others". This does not sound very caring to me. Well, I'll just have to go by myself on the bus.

merlotgran Sat 04-Jul-15 17:59:23

What a thoughtless bitch woman she is. Does he belong to a union?

thatbags Sat 04-Jul-15 18:20:18

Did he ask for the day off as part of his holiday allowance? If so and it was refused that does seem unreasonable unless the manager has very specific and understandable reasons (such as shortage of essential staff on the day in question) for it.

Sorry you have to go by yourself. I hope the investigations do not show serious problems flowers.

hildajenniJ Sat 04-Jul-15 18:23:54

Yes he does. I have just sent off an email to the head of Human Resources telling her what I think. After all, one of the Co-op's Ethical Values is Caring for Others. I told her what I think of that. I hope she responds, but I won't hold my breath! Neither of my sisters are available. One lives in Newcastle but is going on holiday the next day so I won't bother her.

hildajenniJ Sat 04-Jul-15 18:28:31

He is at work at present bags. I do not know what he asked specifically, but we are on holiday from the 12th. so I don't suppose he asked for a holiday day (if that makes any sense). I hope it is just an anomaly on the ex-ray, but we'll see.

Luckygirl Sat 04-Jul-15 18:32:30

I am sorry that you have this added burden when you must be feeling anxious. I hope that all will be well at your appointment. This has happened to me twice and on both occasions all was well, but it did cause me some worry at the time.

janeainsworth Sat 04-Jul-15 18:54:03

Your DH should have a Statement of Terms and Conditions as part of his contract of employment hilda, which should cover things like that.
It seems unreasonable for his manager not to allow him to take either a day's holiday or a day's unpaid leave.

FarNorth Sat 04-Jul-15 19:17:42

Could he swap a shift with someone else?

hildajenniJ Sat 04-Jul-15 19:24:53

He's trying! There are so few of them now. After the disaster with the financial running of the company, they cut staff hours. Also it's holiday season. He hasn't got much time either, my appointment is on Tuesday and I just got the letter yesterday.

annsixty Sat 04-Jul-15 19:36:56

Things do happen very quickly hilda even for any recalls. I do hope you can sort it it out. As said on another thread we could do with a gran's "hit squad" any one of us would spring into action to help in any situation if we could.[ flowers ]

annsixty Sat 04-Jul-15 19:38:05


Jane10 Sat 04-Jul-15 20:57:10

Great idea Ann60! Good luck anyway hilda - pretend we're all with you as virtual companions.

thatbags Sat 04-Jul-15 21:05:04

That is a great idea, annsixty! Seriously, we should try and sort something, a sort of gransnet pal clan. I suppose the local sites would be the ideal place for such a thing.

Do you know any other gransnetters local to you?

thatbags Sat 04-Jul-15 21:05:51

Question to hildajJ. Should've said.

annsixty Sat 04-Jul-15 21:18:17

I would be delighted to help locally and must say sometimes might need help. Let us persue this if possible.

ginny Sat 04-Jul-15 21:57:11

It is a shame that he can't come with you and hope all goes well for you. Not sure though that I would have sent such an e-mail without knowing the whole story from your husband.

hildajenniJ Sat 04-Jul-15 22:13:37

Don't know to any Gnetters near enough to me. I don't mind having to go by myself. It's the coming home on the bus that I'm not looking forward to. I wrote a very kind email, reminding them of their ethics, which are there online for all to see. I really don't think that they will be offended. Thank you all for your support. I am taking my book with me to pass the time.

vampirequeen Sat 04-Jul-15 22:27:26

Surely he's entitled to compassionate leave. He needs to contact his union.

durhamjen Sat 04-Jul-15 23:08:39

Can you contact Ageuk and find out if there is anyone who can take you?

Nelliemoser Sun 05-Jul-15 00:13:32

Hildajennij Is it someone to be at the hospital to give you some moral support you do you need or someone to help you get there?

Some hospitals seem to have a volunteer hospital buddy system which I think is supposed to be available to offer people some when visiting clinics etc. I would try ringing the clinic concerned and asking them if they could help or advise on this.
Here is some info about one such scheme. I have no idea where you live.

hildajenniJ Sun 05-Jul-15 10:20:12

Thank you for your ideas everyone. It is the journey home that bothered me. I am perfectly happy to go by myself. My DH needs the car, so I will be unable to drive myself there and back. The bus is quite convenient, as it is only about a five minute walk to the hospital from the bus station. Everything is fairly central. I'll manage, I'm sure. I will let you all know about my adventure on Wednesday.

TriciaF Sun 05-Jul-15 10:54:10

Some towns have voluntary organisations of people who offer lifts for hospital appointments - CAB might know.
For an appt. like yours, if you're on your own, take a notepad and pen to jot things down that you're told.
Then if your husband can't come you'll be sure to have the right info for him.
Good luck!

Nonnie Sun 05-Jul-15 11:55:00

Same thing happened to me. DH had to go for the results of a brain scan and I wanted to go with him but I was refused because there was going to be an announcement that day and I might have been needed to discuss with people afterwards. I already knew what the announcement was and there were plenty of other people they could talk to. Mine was a female boss too.

Luckygirl Sun 05-Jul-15 11:55:32

I do think that the suggestion about a notepad is a good one. I once took my DD with me for an ortho appointment when things had been going wrong and I needed to be clear what was said; and my OH with PD has just started agreeing to me going in with him in the hope that two aging brains might be better than one! The next best thing is a notebook - and it might be worth talking to OH and deciding between you what you need to ask.

I wish you every good luck with this appointment. The last time a had a similar one, I was on and off the loo in the waiting room and the nurses took pity on me and pushed me through early! I hope you do not suffer from the same problem! - and I hope it all goes well for you. Please imagine a virtual "hit squad" as suggested above.

hildajenniJ Sun 05-Jul-15 14:58:21

Thank you all for your kind thoughts and suggestions. I usually take a notepad with me just in case I need to write anything down. I did this when accompanying my late mother on her appointments. My lovely sister says she will meet me at the bus station and go with me. She is going to Norway on Wednesday and I did not want to bother her. She says that most of her preparations are done now and she will only be too happy to go with me. Thanks again everyone. hjj.