People who hold grudges

I am trying to be different, I really am. I don't care if anyone upsets me, but if they upset someone in my family I don't cope very well. There is someone who was a bit horrible to my DH whilst he was undergoing cancer treatment. It was a while ago and should be long forgotten (DH couldn't care less) but every time I see this person I feel a Grrrr moment coming on. Cool but cordial is how I try to be sunseeker but inwardly fuming !

I think there is a difference between holding a grudge, and not wanting to get rid of it.
And holding one, and having trouble trying to get over it.

I've tried holding grudges sometimes, tried being 'in a mood' with someone, just to let them see how much they've hurt me. But I just can't keep it up. I'm not going to lay claim to some marvellously sunny disposition, because I can be a proper old nag (DH would certainly testify to that ). But I blow up and then just as quickly cool down and get on with things. Always been the same, right from childhood.
Reckon that's why I just can't cope with people as described in the OP. I'm on your side Anya

I used to hold grudges until I realised the only person I was harming was myself. The people you hold grudges against are usually totally unaware of your feelings so are not affected.

I think it does depend on what caused the friction in the first place but on the whole I tend to try to remain cool but cordial - and forget about them!

HildaW."It always sounds so trivial when said out loud" with me it's the opposite, people go, WHAT!!!!!!

I do know a person like this, as you say whenever he has a 'beef' about something he will then drag up every imagined sleight for the last 40 yrs and everyone just wants say GET OVER IT!!!

KatyK...you are not alone KatyK I think a lot of us do (well I hope so or I am a nastier person than I thought). I think the difference is that although I might carry it around a bit....I do not really act upon it, or at least I hope not. I certainly do not bore others with it, it always sounds so trivial when said out loud!

I hold a grudge. I should ref-raise that, I didn't speak to my sister for the last 33 years of her life (she died last year) It depends on how far greedy, mean people push you.

I am guilty of holding grudges Must try to be a better person.

As Shakespeare said they "nurture their wrath to keep it warm". All too common I'm afraid.

I have an elderly aunt like that, she still moans about her mother, my grandmother, when she was a teenager!

Incidentally it wasn't me who'd upset her!