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AIBU

On Christmas Day I will......

(141 Posts)
boheminan Tue 10-Nov-15 09:51:21

....get out of bed around 9.00am, slouch downstairs in my dressing gown, make a couple of slices of toast. Sit and look out the window at grey skies and rain. Think about my children and their children, wonder what they're doing and wish them a lovely day. Hope the phone will ring. Cry.

I know this from experience of the last two Christmas Days.

I also know what the response from some GN'rs will be - 'go and do voluntary work', 'go for a long walk', 'reach out', 'stop feeling sorry for yourself'. Thank you but it doesn't really help.

Being on your own at Christmas, when you ache with the pain of wanting to be with those you love most, is an indescribable feeling.

Somewhere else on GN it was suggested that those of us in a similar situation (and there will be more than I realise) should meet up here in Wonderland and go for a long, mad sleigh ride!

I reach out to say you're not alone, there are others who dread the Family Festive Season - will be having no turkey dinner, no opening presents, no decorations...

Here's an alternative. Put on your paper hat girls and jump on the GN Sleigh, then hold tight!

Coming to a stop near you on 25th December 2015 grin

ninathenana Tue 10-Nov-15 13:27:38

bohemian you have my sympathy. To know that family is close and your still alone must be awful. Will there be reindeer or horses for the sleigh ? I may well pop along grin
Mum always stayed with us from Christmas Eve until the 28th even though she was only a 10 min drive away.
This year we will miss the DGC as they are now with their father and DD is 500miles away. So it will be just us and resident DS we have no other family and as someone said it will be like a Sunday with different food

jinglbellsfrocks Tue 10-Nov-15 13:28:39

I feel like going over to Mumsnet and telling the lot of 'em what I think of them.

mollie Tue 10-Nov-15 13:32:00

And what's that 8Jingle*?

Thank you Charleygirl :-)

gillybob Tue 10-Nov-15 13:37:02

Well I'm sorry but I can't imagine even trying to enjoy Christmas knowing my mum, dad, sister, whoever, were sitting alone. I know my view may not be popular but some families are just so bloody selfish . There I've said it .

boheminan Tue 10-Nov-15 13:37:56

ninathenana Reindeer and horses are in rather short supply in this house - (maybe someone else out there can oblige?). However, I have been eyeing up next doors chickens - they look as if they could do with a bit of exercisegrin

Luckygirl Tue 10-Nov-15 13:39:06

I think what makes it hard for Grans who will be on their own is the fact that they were once the lynch pin of family Christmases and the contrast is hard to assimilate. I endorse jing's comment - how thoughtless some people can be.

ninathenana Tue 10-Nov-15 13:45:32

Perhaps we can nick borrow an off duty fairy godmother from the local panto and get said chickens turned into reindeer bohemian
grin

kittylester Tue 10-Nov-15 13:51:05

We have all of them or none of them as they like to get together (here!!) but have to do 'the other side' on alternate years. So this year it will be DH, DS1 and me! But they will all descend on 28th! Our girls (particularly) have a strong sense of family - they boys less so.

I'm not going to look at Mumsnet.

Pittcity Tue 10-Nov-15 13:58:02

We are having our "family Christmas" on days other than Christmas Day this year. The Day itself will be much like a Sunday but with no buses or shops.
I firmly believe that we should only have Christmas every 4 years like the Olympics as it is too much for many of us as an annual event.

jinglbellsfrocks Tue 10-Nov-15 13:59:11

That is exactly what I would tell them on Mumsnet gillybob. If I was still a member. And brave enough.

gillybob Tue 10-Nov-15 14:33:15

Well I would tell 'em jings I'm not scared..... but I've never been a member. sound like a load of neurotic, know-it-all bullies anyway shock

Liz46 Tue 10-Nov-15 15:16:45

When I was getting divorced I faced the prospect of Christmas on my own but a very good friend insisted that I join in her family day and I have never forgotten her kindness. She now has Alzheimers and I am doing my best to be a good friend to her.
My youngest daughter reckons that Christmas Day is 'pay back' time for the help my second husband and I give during the year. We have a lovely dinner, play with the children and have a couple of glasses of wine in the evening then stay for the night.
We do not take this for granted but say to her that if she wants to do something different, just give us some notice and we will go abroad for Christmas.

ninathenana Tue 10-Nov-15 16:06:05

I was looking forward to having Christmas dinner cooked for me when DD got married. It never happened sad they either had his parents over from Germany or they were there.
We had to make do with the Sunday before, at mine of course !

rosesarered Tue 10-Nov-15 16:21:07

We always host Christmas Day, in fact we would like someone else in the family to host it for a change , and numbers vary from year to year, this year will be just us and DD2 , husband and DGS.However we will see the others either the day before or after,probably at their houses. I always find Christmas tiring to be honest, but have sympathy for those who would prefer it to be busy and tiring, especially if they are on their own.I think the whole holiday goes on for far too long.

J52 Tue 10-Nov-15 17:16:35

I have looked at MN A I Being Unreasonable, there is a tongue in cheek posting about spending Christmas with friends not family. Very witty!

x

J52 Tue 10-Nov-15 17:35:57

Warning!!

Just looked at MN again. There is another post, written by a Gran? explaining why some people are lonely at Christmas. It has unleashed a whole load of vitriol!

Not pleasant reading.

x

vampirequeen Tue 10-Nov-15 17:41:39

I'm sorry that some of you have such a miserable time. We forget in all the build up that some people are not looking forward to it.

When I first left the ex we both went to DD2's for lunch. DD1 was also there. It was not a good idea. I couldn't settle with him in the room. I left around 6pm and we've never done it again. It was excruciatingly uncomfortable for everyone except the ex who simply got drunk (as usual).

Christmas Day this year will just be DH and myself. We'll exchange gifts and chill. We're having steak and chips for Christmas Dinner because we both prefer that to turkey etc. Then graze until bedtime.

Boxing Day will be busier. We have to collect the children from their mum's at 9am. Santa will have brought presents here for them too. DDs will come with DGC at some point during the day so that the children can play together. No cooking on Boxing Day. Just a running buffet. The children love the informality after the very formal Christmas Day at their grandma's. Not a criticism. It's nice to have a formal day and an informal day.

boheminan Tue 10-Nov-15 18:07:15

J52 I've just crossed over to the 'other side' and had a peek on MN - and left pretty quickly - they're pretty scary over there aren't theyshock

Katek Tue 10-Nov-15 18:17:07

I so wish I could arrange a festive hotel weekend where all you lonely grans could meet and share a lovely Christmas together.

I'll definitely be here to send you good wishes on Christmas Day

PoppingoverfromMNet Tue 10-Nov-15 18:34:59

You might find this thread from OldMona on MumsNet amusing wink

janeainsworth Tue 10-Nov-15 18:45:17

here is a less amusing one

PoppingoverfromMNet Tue 10-Nov-15 19:01:25

Jane - why share that when it's just plain nasty? AIBU on MN really brings out the unpleasant posters.

rosesarered Tue 10-Nov-15 19:04:30

Hhmmmn, a couple of dismissive ones on there, but on the whole I think it shows that often there are good reasons for DC not inviting their parents on Christmas Day. I'm sure there are also some selfish or downright strange DC
As well, out there.Which is why Christmas is always a bit of a problematic time( even when families DO get together it often does not go swimmingly.)

jinglbellsfrocks Tue 10-Nov-15 19:11:10

From the threafd Janea linked to -

"There is no need to have people sent over to be brave enough to tell us what they think about us. Us are all very different people."

grin Do we think the little sods Mumsnetters are reading this?

jinglbellsfrocks Tue 10-Nov-15 19:12:03

I would go over there and tell 'em. If the site would let me on. confused