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To wish I could send DH to a Charm School For Outspoken Old Duffers!

(49 Posts)
merlotgran Tue 19-Jul-16 15:33:25

Just got back from a pub lunch. The landlady, whom we've known for years, waved Hello as we stood at the bar. She's a very large lady but I wish DH hadn't muttered, 'She doesn't get any slimmer, does she?' in a stage whisper that could have been heard in the next village!

He then wondered why she didn't 'pop over to see us like she usually does' hmm

A rather ancient waitress then took our order and I tried not to make eye contact with DH because all I could think of was Julie Walters in the 'Two Soups' sketch and one gaffe was quite enough for one day (or so I hoped)

However, worse was to come because when she brought the bill he asked, 'How long have you been working here then.....70 years?????? shock blush

These days he makes Prince Phillip look like a beginner.

I left her a large tip!

granjura Tue 19-Jul-16 15:43:58

OMG ... did you have words or kept stumm?

My dad would do that, but then he was quite deaf and 90+ !

Teetime Tue 19-Jul-16 15:55:09

I'm lad you left a big tip absolutely the right thing to do. grin

Tegan Tue 19-Jul-16 16:10:15

The S.O. does that. Then he'll say 'they can't hear me'.

judypark Tue 19-Jul-16 16:37:11

My elderly Dad was very deaf and would often make loud cringe-worthy personal remarks about people. Worst than that, he had a flatulence problem which would cause his grandchildren and great grandchildren huge mirth. He would innocently carry on with a conversation whilst parping away. Hilarious.

trisher Tue 19-Jul-16 16:39:45

My mother always does this in pubs and restaurants, and always in a very loud voice. She's a bit old for charm school. I've practiced a sympathetic smile and an apologetic look, but I'm not sure it works.

ninathenana Tue 19-Jul-16 16:41:29

When mum was in the care home two of the staff came in for repeated comments. One 6'+ young lady and a black lady.
Every time mum saw them which could be twice in half an hour it would be "God, she's tall" or "She's as black as your 'at" (apologies for any offence) this was said loud enough for the whole room to hear blush

Christinefrance Tue 19-Jul-16 17:30:46

I remember starting a fuss in a shop about poor service. My two adult daughters came up behind me and said to the lady, it's ok we are just taking her back to the home ! !

judypark Tue 19-Jul-16 19:06:45

Christine that is just sort of stunts my daughters would pull. In my nursing days, not too long ago I had an elderly white lady glaring at a Asian lady in the bed opposite and she said to me. " Should that darkie really be in here?" Unbelievable! Thankgod my reply wasn't on record or I would have been suspended.

Fairydoll2030 Tue 19-Jul-16 19:34:35

In a similar vein, I went to see The Full Monty with my mum who was then in her eighties. During a scene where the men stripped down to thongs, Mum calls out in a loud voice 'My black boyfriend wears a red thong.' It seemed like every face in the cinema turned to look at us.

In fact she did'have a very nice boyfriend, an Asian man. Thank goodness he wasn't with us.

Zena510 Wed 20-Jul-16 10:03:34

I'd have wanted to disappear ???

Nain9bach Wed 20-Jul-16 10:34:42

Sounds like he's perfect then? I don't think that it is charm school that he needs. He needs to understand that his mutterings can be heard and that his mutterings are hurtful and spiteful. There should be no excuse for bad manners.

petra Wed 20-Jul-16 10:41:56

My daughter says that even my whispers are loud.

merlotgran Wed 20-Jul-16 10:48:24

I'll pass on your good wishes, Nain9bach grin

barbaralynne Wed 20-Jul-16 11:01:38

In a similar vein, my DH gets very rude when driving and encounters a driver doing something stupid. He then thumps the horn, makes rude gestures and shouts - frequently out of the passenger window ie my side. I just want to slide down into the footwell. I have asked him not to but he always has a reason why it's necessary. Does anyone know of any magic dust that makes one suddenly invisible? hmm

mrshat Wed 20-Jul-16 12:15:03

Merlotgran I empathise - We could be talking about my DH - getting worse dailyblush

phoenix Wed 20-Jul-16 12:52:12

Mr P wasn't meaning to be rude, he just got the wrong word when he asked the young lady assistant at the garden centre if she had trailing labia.

It didn't help matters that she had a slight limp.......blush

annsixty Wed 20-Jul-16 12:52:19

My H started to do things like that when "his problems" started. The lawn mower needed a new part and whilst it was a good mower it was very heavy and he was getting tired using it. We offered it to my son who jumped at it so we ordered the part needed from the dealers and bought a small electric one . When we went to pick up the part we got the usual" good mowers these sir, are you interested in seeing the latest models?"
No thanks says H I have just bought a Bosch from B&Q . I just walked out of the shop and waited outside.

chrisw Wed 20-Jul-16 13:38:42

Thank you for making me laugh 'til I cried. A real tonic.

Coolaboutsixty Wed 20-Jul-16 14:27:37

My other half has a very short fuse behind the wheel but once, when on holiday in France, came very unstuck! With the windows down as it was so hot, he tooted the horn, gesticulated rudely and yelled 'indication' in a bizarre French accent at some driver who had apparently made some minor error. My three daughters and I cringed but worse was to come! Shortly a few hundred yards down the road we were caught in very heavy traffic and the same car drew up alongside us with a very large and angry looking young man at the wheel. The girls and I were convinced that dad was about to get a beating - especially as, being a left hand drive car, the driver was face to face with him. Imagine our surprise when, instead of a stream of French abuse the driver said, ' Eh up pal, whatd'you mean indication?!' Turns out he was from Manchester, like my H!! Have to say he was rather sheepish and very relieved not to get a smacking! They ended up having a laugh, thankfully, and he was a bit more careful for quite a while afterwards!

Jayh Wed 20-Jul-16 14:36:40

My in laws were once in a lift with neighbours who they didn't know well.
FIL nodded and smiled at the man and said " Hello Curly".
A dreadful silence ensued as the man was completely bald.
MIL was mortified and there was nowhere to hide.
It made me laugh though.

bobbydog24 Wed 20-Jul-16 14:42:16

My mum was totally unfiltered once she turned 70. She was totally oblivious to her comments being hurtful or embarrassing. When she was in the nursing home in the latter year of her life, they had a lady singer in to entertain them. I was sitting listening with mum and the singer eventually asked the audience if they had any requests to which my mum's response was yes, can you sing far away. I was mortified, lady looked embarrassed and you could have heard a pin drop.

Elegran Wed 20-Jul-16 14:45:27

The traditional answer to that, bobbydog24 is "I don't recognise the name, but if you hum the tune, I'll soon pick it up."

Sheilasue Wed 20-Jul-16 14:55:28

Best thing you can do is to warn him if you go out again by saying you won't go anywhere with him unless he behaves towards other people.

Spangles1963 Wed 20-Jul-16 15:27:30

I've had experience of this my late DM. She was getting rather deaf about 5 years before she died and it got to the point where I would dread going out anywhere with her as she was prone to making remarks about people in a voice she would think was quiet,but really was not. One incident that sticks in my mind was when we were on a tube train and a woman with what could only be described as 'just got out of bed' hair got on our carriage and sat a few seats away from us. My mum says in a stage whisper to me 'What on earth has that woman got on her head? A bird's nest?'. blush The poor woman had clearly heard her as she kept giving us daggers looks for the rest of the journey. Was I relieved when our stop came up.