To wish I could send DH to a Charm School For Outspoken Old Duffers!

OMG ... did you have words or kept stumm?

My dad would do that, but then he was quite deaf and 90+ !

I'm lad you left a big tip absolutely the right thing to do.

The S.O. does that. Then he'll say 'they can't hear me'.

My elderly Dad was very deaf and would often make loud cringe-worthy personal remarks about people. Worst than that, he had a flatulence problem which would cause his grandchildren and great grandchildren huge mirth. He would innocently carry on with a conversation whilst parping away. Hilarious.

My mother always does this in pubs and restaurants, and always in a very loud voice. She's a bit old for charm school. I've practiced a sympathetic smile and an apologetic look, but I'm not sure it works.

When mum was in the care home two of the staff came in for repeated comments. One 6'+ young lady and a black lady.
Every time mum saw them which could be twice in half an hour it would be "God, she's tall" or "She's as black as your 'at" (apologies for any offence) this was said loud enough for the whole room to hear

I remember starting a fuss in a shop about poor service. My two adult daughters came up behind me and said to the lady, it's ok we are just taking her back to the home ! !

Christine that is just sort of stunts my daughters would pull. In my nursing days, not too long ago I had an elderly white lady glaring at a Asian lady in the bed opposite and she said to me. " Should that darkie really be in here?" Unbelievable! Thankgod my reply wasn't on record or I would have been suspended.

In a similar vein, I went to see The Full Monty with my mum who was then in her eighties. During a scene where the men stripped down to thongs, Mum calls out in a loud voice 'My black boyfriend wears a red thong.' It seemed like every face in the cinema turned to look at us.

In fact she did'have a very nice boyfriend, an Asian man. Thank goodness he wasn't with us.

I'd have wanted to disappear ???

Sounds like he's perfect then? I don't think that it is charm school that he needs. He needs to understand that his mutterings can be heard and that his mutterings are hurtful and spiteful. There should be no excuse for bad manners.

My daughter says that even my whispers are loud.

I'll pass on your good wishes, Nain9bach

In a similar vein, my DH gets very rude when driving and encounters a driver doing something stupid. He then thumps the horn, makes rude gestures and shouts - frequently out of the passenger window ie my side. I just want to slide down into the footwell. I have asked him not to but he always has a reason why it's necessary. Does anyone know of any magic dust that makes one suddenly invisible?

Merlotgran I empathise - We could be talking about my DH - getting worse daily

Mr P wasn't meaning to be rude, he just got the wrong word when he asked the young lady assistant at the garden centre if she had trailing labia.

It didn't help matters that she had a slight limp.......

My H started to do things like that when "his problems" started. The lawn mower needed a new part and whilst it was a good mower it was very heavy and he was getting tired using it. We offered it to my son who jumped at it so we ordered the part needed from the dealers and bought a small electric one . When we went to pick up the part we got the usual" good mowers these sir, are you interested in seeing the latest models?"
No thanks says H I have just bought a Bosch from B&Q . I just walked out of the shop and waited outside.

Thank you for making me laugh 'til I cried. A real tonic.

My other half has a very short fuse behind the wheel but once, when on holiday in France, came very unstuck! With the windows down as it was so hot, he tooted the horn, gesticulated rudely and yelled 'indication' in a bizarre French accent at some driver who had apparently made some minor error. My three daughters and I cringed but worse was to come! Shortly a few hundred yards down the road we were caught in very heavy traffic and the same car drew up alongside us with a very large and angry looking young man at the wheel. The girls and I were convinced that dad was about to get a beating - especially as, being a left hand drive car, the driver was face to face with him. Imagine our surprise when, instead of a stream of French abuse the driver said, ' Eh up pal, whatd'you mean indication?!' Turns out he was from Manchester, like my H!! Have to say he was rather sheepish and very relieved not to get a smacking! They ended up having a laugh, thankfully, and he was a bit more careful for quite a while afterwards!

My in laws were once in a lift with neighbours who they didn't know well.
FIL nodded and smiled at the man and said " Hello Curly".
A dreadful silence ensued as the man was completely bald.
MIL was mortified and there was nowhere to hide.
It made me laugh though.

My mum was totally unfiltered once she turned 70. She was totally oblivious to her comments being hurtful or embarrassing. When she was in the nursing home in the latter year of her life, they had a lady singer in to entertain them. I was sitting listening with mum and the singer eventually asked the audience if they had any requests to which my mum's response was yes, can you sing far away. I was mortified, lady looked embarrassed and you could have heard a pin drop.

The traditional answer to that, bobbydog24 is "I don't recognise the name, but if you hum the tune, I'll soon pick it up."

Best thing you can do is to warn him if you go out again by saying you won't go anywhere with him unless he behaves towards other people.

I've had experience of this my late DM. She was getting rather deaf about 5 years before she died and it got to the point where I would dread going out anywhere with her as she was prone to making remarks about people in a voice she would think was quiet,but really was not. One incident that sticks in my mind was when we were on a tube train and a woman with what could only be described as 'just got out of bed' hair got on our carriage and sat a few seats away from us. My mum says in a stage whisper to me 'What on earth has that woman got on her head? A bird's nest?'. The poor woman had clearly heard her as she kept giving us daggers looks for the rest of the journey. Was I relieved when our stop came up.