It's driving me mad but .....

My husband used to do this until we found out that he had diabetes. Now he is wide awake in the evenings now that his sugar is under control. Worth checking out. I know you say he won't go to the doctor but I just make the appointment and then confront him with it.

My DH is the same too, must be a male thing! We are also retired so no excuse about hard work. However, he is now in hospital for at least six weeks - I so wish he was asleep in the chair beside me.

My oh is exactly the same, holds the remote in his hand, and when I get up to change channels it's I'm watching that when he's been snoring for half an hr

Lots of good reasons noted on here like sleep apnea, under active thyroid, hard working etc but I note one not mentioned at all.

Over indulgence at meal times can cause the problem along with wine or beer etc in a relaxed cozy atmosphere slumped in a chair. If there is no medical reason for it try adjusting meal portions throughout the day reducing the evening meal.

The answer is a post lunch nap. My mother insisted on "rest time" after lunch every day. As a lonely widow she said it meant she was able to enjoy the good TV programmes in the evening without nodding off . She would never watch TV in the day.

Absolutely the same in our house. It can be three or four hours without a word being spoken and the programme he wanted but is of no interest to me, is on tv but it's no good turning to the one I really wanted because it's half way through. I end up going to bed very late so that I can watch catchup. From all the threads it does appear to be very much a man thing and very frustrating to say the least.

My husband is just the same, we babysit our grandaughters on a Tuesday, as soon as the 2 year old has her nap, about 9.30 a.m, he is out like a light, apparently they draw the energy out of him !!!, strange that, he has about 3 naps a day every day then wakes up and goes to bed, I give up now, have bought a puppy to keep me company :-)

This is a very interesting comment thread as it flags up the friction different sleeping patterns can cause.

My DH and I were on the same sleep-clock in our twenties but when we had the babies I was 'bumped' into waking at six when he wouldn't wake for at least two, sometimes several hours later. He never changed and I never went back.

This disparity in sleeping patterns causes endless bother even now as at the weekends I wake at five or six and, by the time he is awake at eight or nine I have been awake for two or sometimes three hours thirsty, hungry and very bored. At the other end of the day I fall asleep on the sofa watching TV and he is rather contemptuous of my inability to stay watching the riverting programmes. We are lively and sleepy at different times of the day.

Doh!

Hi all Grans out there, I am so thrilled I am not alone on this subject, DH sleeps through programmes he has been waiting for,then denies it, when I nudge him to see his programme.I think it maybe an underactive thyroid too, he went to the Doctor last week for his MOT and DIDNT mention this to the Doctor! Most rows are about him "resting his eyes" All i can say is MEN!!

watch the same programmes and discuss them, you sound very controlling, snoring, perhaps you do and hes too polite to say anything, and as for making him go to bed - well, thought we all stopped doing that when our children grew up.
sorry gr anarchy but they are all the thoughts that hit me when I read your post.

Still happens to DH a fair bit, but hugely improved since we found his blood pressure tablets over the last 10 years are also diuretics and and he was seriously low on sodium. Long story, as GP kept trying other meds rather than spotting the actual problem until I asked for (and waited while he did it) on a printout. Showed "LOW" beside 50% of results way back to 2011.

One BP med now stopped entirely and sleeping during day/evening drastically reduced (not entirely, so I creep in and turn the TV off). BP staying at good levels, helped by recent lovely Tarka dhal curry recipe from Gransnet, which I've used several times to include the courgettes now sprouting in our garden.

NanaAndGrampy: had refreshing and eyewatering laugh at your dog asleep and snoring, but awaiting dropped sandwich!!

Is there such a thing as a trigamist?

My friend and I used to share the same frustrations. Then three years ago her husband died, after which she urged me to enjoy every waking - and sleeping - moment with my husband as she would give anything to see hers asleep in his chair and even hear his snoring again. Now I know how right she was since my own DH passed away a year ago. I always knew my friend was right, in theory, but it didn't stop me commenting on it, I think in the (subconscious) hope that he would/could do something about it!

Whilst I sympathise with you, and do know how it feels when your beloved falls asleep at the drop of a hat, because mine did it and still does it, I would swap with you in a heartbeat. My husband increasingly fell asleep because he was developing Parknsons Disease Dementia, and increasing sleepiness is part of the condition. At the age of 66 he is now permanently in a nursing home and after 20 years of happiness together, I am coming to terms with living alone, visiting him regularly and gladly as at least he is still alive, and generally surviving. I am not bitter, no point, but miss our old life more than I ever thought possible. Thankfully I have a wonderful family and friends. Grab the moment!

What is even more annoying to be asked what happened in the programme they slept through. We have very different sleep patterns so separate rooms have made things easier.

I frequently miss the end of a programme I've been watching, due to dropping off for 'just a few minutes'. This tendency became extreme about 20 years ago when I found myself drowsing on the M6, within inches of the wheels of a juggernaut. Subsequent blood test revealed an underactive thyroid and I've been on thyroxine ever since. I am still able to snooze in front of the TV, or over a book, usually in the late afternoon, yet sleep well all night. Olympics kept me awake though!

I think it is a common problem ... I tend to fall asleep after lunch at my desk about 30min deep sleep then I am fine and awake until midnight or more if needed ..I get up at around 6am ...( if someone is still reading ) .
My wife insist on watching a tv program and everytime is asleep after 5 min on the sofa ... when she watch a program in bed she rarely fell asleep until the end .
we all different I guess

Try marrying a fisherman! I learn to value alone rather than lonely, including autonomy over what In watch on Tv and lots of time to myself. He is up about 4 and falling asleep about 9 most times, including weekends, plus a long lie down after lunch if he can.

to Flowerof the west..... yes it is called a Madman

In our house, I usually sit down at about 9pm to watch a bit of telly and immediately fall asleep and probably snore. Hubby keeps reding the paper as usual.

If OH falls asleep with the tv on I can't even turn the sound down never mind change channels or turn off as the instant I press the button he'll jerk awake and before he's even realised where he is will say 'I was watching that', {grin} I just like tormenting him and do it deliberately sometimes {wink} good job we love each other to bits...{smile}

oh my I forgot which brackets to use

My DH has always done this, as did his parents. I recall an evening in our first home, not long after we were married, when his parents came to visit. We didn't have a TV, so we must just have been 'socialising'. Within half an hour, the three of them were asleep, leaving me sitting 'on my own'! I must have been such a bore!! My mother said later that I should have put the light out and gone to bed. It's not just evenings that DH sleeps and now that he has PD it's worse. Not his fault, I know.

Does he snore at night, then wake with a start gasping for breath? My OH used to do just that, till I nagged, sorry persuaded him in a loving manner, to get it checked out. He was also struggling to stay awake as soon as his bottom hit a chair. He was monitored in hospital for 24 hours and sleep apnoea was diagnosed. He now has to wear an oxygen mask-thingy at night, which makes him look like Darth Vader, but it does the trick. He still gets tired, as he works ridiculously hard (another bone of contention!), but stays awake till a grown-up time. Good luck.

PS He also had to tell the DVLA, but no problems there, as long as he can say (and presumably they ask his doctor) that he uses the mask. There is a computerised chip thing inside it, so he can't pretend he does if he doesn't.