AIBU to think the only person who should open mail is the person it's addressed to

We open our own mail, and he would never go down my handbag unless he asks first.

We've never discussed it but it's always been that way for 46 years

Actually, since my dad and brother have passed. I don't get any personal post, like greeting cards now. Our one set of US friends send our birthday cards and anniv card all in one A5 to save US postage as the dates are very close, and to disguise the fact that they are greeting cards. It's scary that some never arrive for being pilfered thinking there is cash in them!!! Had that happen a few times in past years.

He opens most all the post as he does the house 'stuff'. I can't be bothered.

Email is different...we have separate accounts and computers. That's private for each of us and we respect that.

I don't deliberately open anyone else's mail- my DH prefers that I open his - although I do tend to leave it. My Daughter still has her mail sent here although she has left and asks us to open it for her. I put my Sons in his dinning place and he ignores it - eventually he throws it in the bin unopened. He says anything he needs or wants comes on Email. He
Tells me if it bothers me I can open it - but he'll likely still throw it away.
My DH will go down my bag for things like headache tablets if we've run out, I'm cool with it - no one else in the world has ever dared!! I do not go in his pockets other than to check clear for washing. I'd feel entitled to though if he had something I thought should be checked.

DH always brings me my handbag even if it's for 20p for parking at the pub. We hand each other the relevant post but anything official he is handed as he's retired so he can do what I always did-Pay the bills.

DH opens his mail about once a month!! I point out things that look as if they may be urgent & ask him to check. I have never opened anything of his or he mine except when he was working in USA for weeks at a time & then I went for things that may have been bills etc. Never anything personal without asking him first.
He does order a lot of 'stuff' online & sometimes I know they are for me but I still wait until he gets home from work.
It's just courtesy.

forgot to add that at the moment i'm opening my brother's mail at the moment. he's moved to the usa where he's just got married and where he'll be living.
he's had his mail redirected from where he used to live and i've been asked to open his mail and throw away what's not urgent [seems to be mail shots mostly]. every now and again i have to talk to him via skype to ask him what to do with some item or other and i'll have to post a little package to him very shortly with some important letters.
but that's the only time i'll open anything which isn't addressed to me [apart from letters put through my letterbox by mistake as i said above].

i've never knowingly opened any one else's mail. sometimes something is delivered for a neighbour and as it's on my doormat then i assume it's for me and open it!! so an apology is quickly written on the envelope and one of the grandaughters delivers it to the right address!
otherwise i never opened mail addressed to my husband [now ex so i don't deal with that] or my daughter who now lives with me. what's addressed to her goes to her and she doesn't open my mail either.
regarding handbags - my guy will never put even his finger tip in my handbag - it's not the done thing apparently. and i seem to remember my ex husband wouldn't either.
however my ex husband would give me his wallet if i'd asked for money and tell me to help myself.
my guy doesn't use a wallet as he rarely has anything but change available [pays for everything as far as he can with a card] but is willing to dig in his pocket if i ask him ........... wonder why he doesn't ask me to dig in his pocket!?!?!

Human Rights to open own mail see below:

Lady Stacey ruled that prison guards had breached the human rights of 51-year-old William Beggs by opening mail sent to him by the Information Commissioner’s office.
In a written judgement at the Court of Session in Edinburgh, she said the Scottish Prison Service had failed to respect the killer's rights under article eight the European Convention on Human Rights.
The clause guarantees that people have the "right to respect" for their "home and correspondence."
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/11754115/Killer-William-Beggs-wins-human-rights-case.html

We stayed with my Mother for 4 weeks whilst moving countries, any re-directed mail which came for us she opened, including bank statements and officil documents.
She said it was her house and everything which arrived was her business.
I got up very early one morning to try and catch the post and she was hiding at the back of the front door. She was shivering and had obviously been there a while. Cause of yet another argument

I tend to open all the mail in this house, otherwise it would be put on the stairs and ignored.
If it's something obviously personal, I put it unopened on the seat of 'his' chair, to make sure he sees it.
DH does look in my handbag, but usually asks first, but he never opens my purse unless I ask him to, nor do I look in his wallet!

Never, nor he mine. If I know what it is, I may say 'shall I open this' but otherwise no. Certainly not from a lack of trust but because that was the way things were in my family before I married. My husband's mum used to open his mail, even his birthday cards if he wasn't there when the post came - I couldn't believe it. My DDiL opens my sons mail otherwise it would sit there forever so, of course, that is the right thing to do.

I confess I do open DHs letters if they look in testing not bills). He doesn't seem to mind. And h frequently looks in my handbag (and puts things back in the wrong places!). What's wrong with it? We trust each other!

Sorry rosesarered I know it's bad but think it comes of being an only child. I had everything to myself, not that I was spoilt you understand.

My husband won't open any post at all, he views it as my job and has nothing to hide. In fact, he can get arsy if I say this is for you & give it to him. He gives it me back saying I don't want it - you open it.

My DH does with my bag what your father did Witzend and we always open our own post.Some comes to Mr & Mrs so I always pass that to him as its usually something he deals with, like insurances. It's just what suits us and the way we have dealt with things over the past 51 years of marriage.

Dh and I never open each other's mail, unless we've had to (like when he was away a lot and I had to open credit card bills to pay them.
OTOH we have both occasionally opened something of the other's by mistake, and it doesn't bother either of us in the least.
But in principle, no.

How about handbags? My father was always meticulous about not looking in my mother's bag - if she wanted something from it he would bring it to her. So it felt all wrong when dh would occasionally look in my bag for something - not that I had anything to hide - but I asked him to bring it to me instead as my father always had. He didn't take offence - it had evidently never occurred to him.
But then my father was an exceptionally courteous and lovely man, as dh knew very well.

I have almost always opened DH's mail. Both at work and at home ( unless it looks personal in which case it could wait for ages to be opened) . He would never open ordinary mail at all. Not interested.

Agree with granny knot.
Tablet won't allow me to write it as one word !

What GK said!

Christine

I prefer to open my own mail, my husband does too but it's not a big issue. I also like to read a magazine or paper first and get quite irritated if my husband gets to it first , do try to bite my tongue though.

I used to open my dh's mail when he was working abroad. He couldn't care less about it, it's one less thing for him to do as far as he's concerned.

That was my first mistake with my son in law it was before they had actually married but we're living together he picked me up from the airport drove to their flat he opened the outside letterbox took out a white envelope clearly addressed to my daughter and promptly opened and read it. I made the big mistake of commenting to her that I was surprised to see him open her mail and got a big flea in my ear Lesson learnt ( well nearly)
I did open a letter of my ex husbands once because I was very worried about money he owed I very careful steamed it open and read the contents was worried he'd be back soon so quickly shoved it back in sealed it up and put it under the other letters Didn't realised I d put it into a window envelope with the address down side and a blank sheet in the window .... Get out of that one

Same as Grannyknot.

We open each other's mail in this house from time to time. Don't see a problem (but would never open something that looked properly personal, but who writes personal letters these days?)

I'm often on my husband's email too (at his request, easier to dictate replies to me than do the 2 finger typing thing).

We had a nephew staying here who didn't change his address for months after he left. It was only when I threatened to open his mail - and then carried out the threat and sent him a Whatsapp pic - that he got the message.