TO THINK THAT THIS IS UNACCEPTABLY GREEDY

My friend worked with a gay man who had a very volatile relationship with his partner.
They frequently split up and reunited.

One day, out of the blue, he announced they were getting married the following month. Wedding invitations were hastily sent out and guests were invited to donate to 'the honeymoon of a lifetime' which was to be in the Seychelles. My friend who'd known him for several years reluctantly gave him £50 and she understood they eventually collected over £3000 in the company they worked for. The marriage failed before they went on the honeymoon (which was planned for two weeks after the wedding). The money was never returned and there were a lot of unhappy work colleagues. The split was permanent.

Simple reply from me to the OP

YES.

It was a invite to a party! Not a way to get money! I'd go if I wanted to and enjoy the company but ignore the silly basket!

Don't see this as a big issue. She is what she is. Go to the party and place in the donations box exactly what she would spend on a present. Or ignore his request and just take a present. Or just fail to turn up at the party. I don't think there will be many people there .

Your friend doesn't want to go, so she shouldn't.

When my niece got married she sent one of those 'cute' little poems asking for money :vomit: Even peeps just invited to the evening do got one. I halved what I'd have spent on a present & sent her the money with a card showing I'd donated the same amount on her behalf to a 'good gifts' charity, bwuhahahaha. I have no regrets - especially when she thanked everyone en masse via a Facebook post. Some people have no manners.

I just remembered when we ducked out of a friend's birthday party, I sent her a text and, on the actual day, left flowers by the front door. She had started partying quite early!