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False friendliness

(57 Posts)
NanKate Wed 26-Oct-16 22:09:42

I hate it in shops when the staff have been trained to be falsely friendly to customers with any of these rehearsed phrases as follows

Now how are you today ?
What are you doing today ?
Have a lovely day/evening etc.

I recently phoned 111 as I felt ill and needed advice. At the end of the call the Doctor who had eventually phoned me said 'have a nice evening'. Nice evening my a**e I was worried, nervous, feeling awful. What an inappropriate comment.

notanan Thu 27-Oct-16 12:23:16

etc don't address me as a human being I.e. acknowledge I am there I get very annoyed.

a yeah but c'mon, retail staff aren't allowed to speak like normal humans responding to normal social ques like monosylabic answers = leave me alone I don't wanna talk.
There's nothing human about following a script and being in trouble if you don't shoe horn the 4 target phrases into a 2 min conversation with someone who doesn't wanna talk to you

Synonymous Thu 27-Oct-16 12:31:38

RAF I have had that too and didn't quite know how to deal with it. Tena lady made me laugh! grin

Grannygrumps60 Thu 27-Oct-16 12:38:27

I don't mind so much in shops and I will often wish them a nice day too.....equally insincere perhaps, but politeness costs nothing. In France, shop staff always say 'Bonjour' when you enter a store and will generally wish people 'Bon journee' as they leave, even when you haven't purchased anything. My real bugbear is when telesales people intrude into my privacy and start off by asking, "how are you today". I have been known to give a rude response before cutting them off, but then I feel a little bad, as they are only doing their job and very likely hate it. I know I would.

Legs55 Thu 27-Oct-16 12:55:29

Grannygrumps I'm totally with you re telesales - the minute they say "how are you today" it gets my back up as does being refered to my my Christian name - I'm known by my middle name so it instantly makes me bristle, in any case I'm MRS until I give you permission to use my given name thlangry

I don't mind shop assistants greetings after all they have to follow the script - I'm always polite & sometimes friendly if I feel they are being nice because they are a nice person, I have been known to have shop assistants in fits of laughter (sorry if that irritates the rest of you) I worked in the Catering Industry for years & appreciate politeness - we don't all have to be "grumps" thlconfused

Tena Lady comment made me laugh thlsmile

starlily106 Thu 27-Oct-16 13:23:55

My dgd works for a well known Company on the telephone helpline, and they have a script which they must follow and they can be sacked if they don't follow it, as calls are recorded. The amount of abuse she has had to put up with is terrible. And she says the worst of the abuse and bad language comes from little old dears. I was so shocked when she told me what one of them had said to her. So please don't blame the staff , put the blame on the people who write the things they have to say.

chrissyh Thu 27-Oct-16 13:43:05

It's not only in shops but on the phone too. I'm sure they have to say it but it really grates. They are no more interested in how I am than I am in how they are. I'm really am a friendly person but, as soon as I hear these words, the heckles go up.

DotMH1901 Thu 27-Oct-16 13:45:50

I worked for the DWP for a couple of years and we were told we had to use a standard telephone response to calls. It went on for ages and, shortly after it was imposed on us, our senior manager rang one of my colleagues. Lyn picked up the receiver and duly launched into the required announcement. Our manager tried to interrupt several times with 'yes, I know all that' and 'Lyn, it's me' to no avail. When Lyn finally stopped for breath our manager said 'Okay, it's a bad idea - I get the message'. Sadly it was a Government direction so she wasn't able to do more than relay that most of our clients/customers/claimants (depending on what the 'in phrase' was at the time) thought it was a waste of their time too.

Buddly Thu 27-Oct-16 14:06:01

Oh yes, 'how are you today ' really gets to me from someone I don't know, as if they care? I would love to say ' what's it got to do with you' but daren't ?
How should you answer that anyway ? Fine, great, rotten, how are you ? All I want to do is be served and go.

Direne3 Thu 27-Oct-16 14:29:46

Thank goodness that my early years working in the retail sector were pre-scripting. However, what really annoys me is that the staff in my TSB bank (otherwise lovely smiley people) are trained to not only to ask 'are you doing anything nice today' but additionally the totally invasive enquiry as to what my plans are for the cash that I am withdrawing, grrrr.

DAncer66 Thu 27-Oct-16 14:36:53

I don’t mind the ‘have a good day’ comments. I think it takes more energy to get grumpy than it does to say, “You too.”

Them: Good afternoon. How are you today?
Me: Fine. You?
Them: Emmmmm……

I think they need a longer script. grin

blueskies Thu 27-Oct-16 15:09:03

I must admit it is a tad irritating having stood in a long queue in M&S when the assistant without raising her head says "Sorry to keep you waiting".

kittylester Thu 27-Oct-16 15:31:16

Talking of insincerity - DH had a business partner who said, without fail, 'Good morning, I hope kitty is keeping well' and, hardly waiting for a reply would say, 'good, good!!'. One day dh replied that I had died overnight and his response was, as always, 'good good!' grin

callgirl1 Thu 27-Oct-16 16:53:46

Personally, I don`t mind the friendly overtures, even if they are programmed to do it, it`s better than downright rudeness or nastiness.

callgirl1 Thu 27-Oct-16 16:54:17

Why am I coming up green?

Spangles1963 Thu 27-Oct-16 17:33:33

One day dh replied that I had died overnight and his response was,as always,'good good!' thlgrin

DAncer66 Thu 27-Oct-16 17:41:10


I think it's to make your own posts easier to find.

paddyann Thu 27-Oct-16 17:53:51

I've worked with the public for 40 odd years ,always chatted with them and sometimes have customers come back years later and remember the conversations and ask about my now grown up kids and I usually remember them too.Surely its much better/nicer to be friendly to people than grunt and snarl .Lifes far too short to be annoyed at folk being friendly/civil

Deedaa Thu 27-Oct-16 20:49:27

Telesales people who ask me if I'm having a nice day tend to get told that I was having a lovely time until some idiot rang me up!

Pandi Thu 27-Oct-16 22:30:03

The checkout lad and my husband were having such an in depth conversation about a sponge we were buying to wash the car that although he took the security tag off the alcohol bottle he forgot to scan it.

Maggiemaybe Thu 27-Oct-16 22:55:45

Surely its much better/nicer to be friendly to people than grunt and snarl .Lifes far too short to be annoyed at folk being friendly/civil

Spot on, paddyann.

dorsetpennt Thu 27-Oct-16 23:28:06

I'm seventy two,during a recent visit to the hairdressers , a very young girl washed my hair. Part of her training was obviously to engage your client in conversation . Whilst shampooing my hair she asked "going anywhere nice this evening " , I replied I was going clubbing . She looked quite shocked.

Shanma Fri 28-Oct-16 00:00:48

Well Dears I just want to ask how you are, have you anything nice planned for today? have a fantastic day!!

Sorry? Did you speak? Oh dear oh dear, having an actual conversation doesn't seen to be in my remit, now where did I leave my script?


Just want to add to this that we went for our flu Jabs this afternoon, and pleasant as the Nurse was( They all are in our Surgery) It did grate a bit when she said " So have you planned something nice for the afternoon?"

I just replied " In a word...NO"

phoenix Fri 28-Oct-16 00:03:13

If I have had a telephone conversation with someone helpful, I tend to thank them and say "hope the rest of your shift goes well", which usually seems to be appreciated.

With regards to supermarket checkout staff, well, I did a whole thread on that, "Engaging with the customer"!

kittylester Fri 28-Oct-16 06:39:09

I usually talk to the staff on the checkout as it would be very boring for them if no-one did.

Wendy Sat 29-Oct-16 20:45:12

I work as a volunteer in a shop in the Out Patients department of a hospital. I always say 'good morning' if the customer comes up with a paper, chocolate or sandwich. If they stand there I will say 'may I help you' they usually want a tea or coffee. As it's OPD most of the customers are ill in one way or another, so we tend to make allowances for the occasional rudeness. My colleague, on the other hand will say 'what do you want?' This will bring smiles, especially from the men. After a bit of banter, she will say 'now clear off'. Comments of 'hurry up' to people on crutches and 'I'll help you coz you're old' are common. She is very popular and the regulars always want to be served by her for a bit of 'abuse'. If she has a day off they are always disappointed. She is equally rude to the staff and will tell the girls off for eating too much chocolate or the men for being scruffy. If I said those things it wouldn't come out the same. It is certainly the way she says it, with a smile and a love on the end.