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False friendliness

(57 Posts)
NanKate Wed 26-Oct-16 22:09:42

I hate it in shops when the staff have been trained to be falsely friendly to customers with any of these rehearsed phrases as follows

Now how are you today ?
What are you doing today ?
Have a lovely day/evening etc.

I recently phoned 111 as I felt ill and needed advice. At the end of the call the Doctor who had eventually phoned me said 'have a nice evening'. Nice evening my a**e I was worried, nervous, feeling awful. What an inappropriate comment.

ElaineI Sun 30-Oct-16 00:40:06

I am a nurse and I often ask how my patients are today when they arrive. I expect an honest answer and usually get one - I need to know if they are feeling unwell or upset or had a bereavement or even if they are fine and happy that we have had decent weather in the autumn so far. I usually finish with a comment appropriate to what they have been telling me. I think it makes people feel I am interested in them and their family. I do know many of my patients well as I have been in the same job for a long time.
We are meant to introduce ourselves to people we don't know as part of mandatory training and lots of patients will then address us by name which is a personalised part of care.
Things that annoy me are people saying - cheer up it may never happen etc - how does anyone know what has happened. It is a really insensitive thing to say.

etheltbags1 Sun 06-Nov-16 23:00:54

I work with the public and I try so hard to be nice as I genuinely want to be nice. A lady the other day said she was upset and without thinking I asked her what was wrong in a manner I would ask dgd, she was angry and said she didn't want to tell me. I just wanted to help, however she did eventually tell me and I sympathized so no harm was done. it's just so difficult knowing what to say and to who to.

DaphneBroon Sun 06-Nov-16 23:13:11

"False" friendliness is IMHO better that heartfelt hostility.

Shanma Mon 07-Nov-16 00:06:11

No Daphne, I don't like false anything, much rather people be honest
whatever their opinion.

ElaineI Mon 07-Nov-16 00:10:21

Shanma I think I will not bother chatting with patients again. Seems a lot of you can't stand even nurses talking to you so why should I bother? Maybe " come in, which arm?" is all that is required!

BlueBelle Mon 07-Nov-16 04:35:41

Chatting or being genuinely interested is lovely but the banal 'have a nice day ' or any other of the false ' told to say it' phrases when you know they couldn't care a shit if you have a nice day or not is incredibly irritating, constant repetition becomes meaningless.

I talk to anyone in queues, on the bus, train etc even on the phone when strangers ring up because I like friendliness it makes the world go round, but talking to me because you ve been told to and saying the same to everyone really lowers the art of conversation and is almost insulting if there is no meaning

Elainel I think you ve taken Shanna statement wrongly she clearly states FALSE statements and you clearly state you have interesting chats You are both talking about completely different things