What do you think? Joke I found offensive.

The best way to devalue these words are to render them as comparatively as meaningless as any other adjective. As long as we react to them in the way that they seem 'special' they will be attractive to children to use.
Homosexuality is a fact of life. Its not new. Its time it was just accepted and, to children, just ordinary. By overreacting to any mention of words pertaining to it we keep the prejudice going.

I was thinking that last night, jane10, but you have expressed it much better than I would have done. I was going to say that if we just ignore words like poof and fairy eventually they'll lose any sting they once had. I honestly think they have lost most of it already. Most people are perfectly accepting of homosexuality nowadays. We've even changed the law to allow same sex marriage. Those who have 'issues' with homosexuality are in the minority and I think the size of that minority is steadily shrinking.

Wondering if the panto was written for this particular performance or if it was an old one pulled out of an old collection. If the latter, that would explain it. I'd be surprised if script writers used words like poof and fairy in such a way in a new-write.

But Jane10 it's not those of us who are aware of hurt that are the problem it's the many in the audience who will see it as ok to use words or jokes like that
In a child or young persons eyes ...' all the grown ups are laughing so I ll say that and make people laugh too' by using it as a 'joke' in a kids panto it is being given the all clear
My grandson and a couple of friends did a refereeing course last year and have since reffed under 11 s games One of the boys was teased and called a 'paedo' by colleagues because he was reffing young kids games it got so bad he wouldn't go near the pitch stopped reffing stopped playing stayed in his room became depressed Bullying words can ruin someone's life ... luckily his mum eventually found out what was causing the unhappiness and it was dealt with but that lad could have ended up taking his life over something like that

We HAVE to educate the next generation by not including homophobic jokes in mainstream talk so a BIG thumbs down to whoever wrote that show

If my guess is correct, whoever wrote that show may be dead already.

Children are being educated that homosexuality is okay. Gather any bunch of sixteen year olds and talk to them about it and you'll see that, to put it their way, most of them are... like... cool with it. Most of them have homosexual friends and some of them have homosexual siblings. It really isn't a big deal.

Which is not to say there isn't still some prejudice, but I reckon it does not occur mainly in young people.

Either that or the bog standard schools my sixteen year old daughter has been to/is still at are not bog standard at all but really unusual.

Which I sincerely doubt.

Thumbs down to the producer/director/whoever was running the show, then.
The line must have been spoken at least once or twice in rehearsal, as well as the puff of smoke effect being organised. How could they miss it?

Being called a "paedo"" because someone was refereeing junior football games is an entirely different issue Blue Belle and at a whole new level of slander of the criminal variety. I sincerely hope those guilty were punished or warned that they risked prosecution for what they were spreading.
To get back to the panto, surely what bellsisabelle describes is mild typical panto humour. Corny, not very funny but not in the same league .

I don't think that it's even gays anymore, it is more diverse than that these days. There are so many sexual orientations other than straight/gay/lesbian/trans these days. Watching the film Pride today, I can't believe how far we have come since the early 1980's in society acceptance of gays etc, as it should have been for generations before.

When my sister told my ex husband that she was gay, he told her "As long as you don't become a United supporter". This was in 1997, and she was very worried about telling us. I don't know why, she was still my sister, I didn't care what she did in a bedroom. As long as she was treated right and treated right in return. Like anybody.

But with regards to the panto, there have been double entendres in panto for a very long time, adults get the jokes, kids laugh at the silliness of the show. I do think gay people would not take offence at what was said, it's hardly scathing, is it? One transvestite I knew would cut you down to size just by a side glance, whilst putting your eye liner on in the ladies! Brilliant.

It isn't about gay people taking offence - it's about using unacceptable language in a context that sends a message that it's acceptable. It's about children and young people using that language to make fun of others who may be struggling with their sexuality -that is happening in schools regularly even if not in the school thatbags has experience of. There is still homosexual gay hate crime. Would we accept racist jokes of that ilk? There's double entendre and then there's the unacceptable - I do wonder what bubbled me of you are living in

Bubbled me= bubble some

Panto is traditionally full of these innuendos, let's not get too PC about it, homophobia is much more serious than a few silly jokes. I'm sure gay people are not losing sleep about it.
If you have concerns then talk to your grandchildren and explain why you are worried.

Were there other jokes in the panto you went to, like the one you quoted bellsisabelle?

Off to lunch with gay friends. Will ask what they think!

Not in the first half Ankers. (We walked out when the interval came round. We did, and do, feel strongly about it) Best not to put such unkind words into the mouths of children. IMO.

I have emailed the director. She has been directing this annual event for many years now.

Bags - old scripts can be amended.

I'm not actually intyerested in what adult gay people think of it. I am thinking children here. Young adolescents in particular. You know, the age when bullying can cut deep.

Do your grandchildren know why you walked out?

My grandchildren don't even know I went! Lol!

If these words (poof, fairy) had been directed at one particular person then yes, this would be offensive. But the context here is a pantomime, where no-one expects PC or needs to get upset at the tone of the jokes even if they are not in the Best Possible Taste. (Was that Bette Midler?)

At ages 11 and fifteen, I would have had to have dragged them there by hawser and cart horses!

Actually these gay people were adolescents very recently. Still not interested? I don't think they would appreciate your crusading on their behalf.

I'm not crusading on their behalf! Why would you think that?

I'm gonna leave this. The replies are actually becoming comical.

I agree it's not about taking away adults fun or even offending gays or anyone else for that matter it's not about it being a bit risqué and near the bone and it's not about it going over the heads of little kids.

I also agree a lot of 16 year olds are very aware and happy to accept all sorts nowa days I am guessing your grandkids go to a good school and it's not neccarily all school children that are so clued up and accepting Thatbags mine do too and their school is very hot on bullying but there are schools round here where you hear some horrendous 'banter' these days Yes it's called banter (another dumbing down sounds so much nicer than bullying and removes the blame to the victim.... oh it's just a bit of banter you're too sensitive).... it's about making sure that words, jokes, banter don't become the norm don't become unshocking and it's definitely about teaching small children respect of ALL ...fat, thin, black,white, straight or gay
I don't think the paedo thing is very different Daphne it all comes from the same route getting a laugh at someone's expense it's ALL bullying looking big in the eyes of your mates
I m glad you walked out belles and wrote to the director hopefully she ll take it on board

I'd be interested in your friends' opinions, jayanna.

Yes. Tbh I would also be interested jayanna. Apologies.

My DD teaches at a school where words of this kind would be stamped on very quickly. I hope all schools these days are the same.

BlueBell it was only thw third performance. Plenty more to come. It would be great if the joke were to be left out. Fingers crossed.