Invited a friend and she's invited a friend - and we share the cost???

You could of course be missing the opportunity of meeting a new potential friend, the friend of a friend may be a pleasant addition to your friendship group. Or, like me, however pleasant people are I enjoy spending time with friends one-to-one, I believe I am called an Introvert.

I agree with many of the other posters, you should certainly not be expected to share your boy hers and even pay towards the cost of an unknown person's meal. I also agree with other posters that the friend is very rude. I would make an excuse (double booked, not well or whatever) and then go with a different friend.

Sorry, should read, vouchers, I should preview!

'Hi Friend. Lovely to hear from you. I'm just finally recovering after shock of having to be admitted to hospital. Was so sorry to miss evening too. Was so very good of you to take me in. Missing evening and being ill was certainly a bit depressing but i'm looking forward to getting back to fun now. Speaking of which i intend treating a few pals to a lunch in celebration of my geting better. You of course are invited. As you'll agree i'm sure the vouchers will be very useful for that. Looking forward to meeting your pal and our lunch. Happy to split bill between the three but as you'll understand saving vouchers for my gett well lunch.
Hugs......'

They are YOUR vouchers. You missed all the fun and been ill. YOU decide what you will and will not do. Woman just thoughtless.

Maybe your friend doesn't understand that these are not 'free' vouchers. You paid a deposit and didn't go as I understand it, and got vouchers as a refund. Sorry if I did not understand this correctly.

But if they are a reimbursement for you, I'd just say what these vouchers are for and that actually, you are treating HER to a meal.

Tell her you might as well make it a party & are bringing more friends of your own & will split the bill.

I agree with those who say "why should you lie".

FarNorth is right. Just suggest rescheduling when she's next 'free'.

I don't think this is about a 1/3 share of the cost of lunch, but more that you were looking forward to an easy chat alone with your friend as opposed to stilted conversation with a stranger!

Well I have to say I'd rather pay the third than risk losing a valuable friendship. Who knows when you may need that friend again. But in all cases of this kind I've found it's best to be honest if you really do mind having to pay. I'd just say the vouchers are for you and I only, then if she wants to share her friends bill she can and she's still quids in.

i d just say oh sorry there are only two vouchers so we ll have to make it another date or I d say no thanks and take another friend along very brass necked and presumptive I wouldn't like someone else telling me how to spend my vouchers

I agree with you BlueBelle, it's such a presumption, that's what would annoy me the most. From your post Clematsia, your friend didn't appear to say why she was bringing "the friend" maybe if there was a very good reason involved you could make a more informed choice, but from the bare bones she has given you it sounds really off, why should you be expected to split the cost of a meal for someone you don't know and didn't invite. Please keep us up dated I think you have aroused a lot of sympathy for your predicament, I'm thinking maybe we are all contemplating how we would react if we were you.

Clematisa.
If your "friend" reads GRANSNET, then the problem should be solved, - one way or another.

I'd be inclined to say I'd rather have a catch up with you at a later date if you don't mind.

Just say you and your friend can have lunch some other time.You have thanked her enough.

Clematisa, do let us know what you decided and how it went. I think we've all been in a similar situation and wondered if we made the right decision in the end

I'd do as others suggest and say that I'd rather meet her on her own another time as she is obviously busy.
When you said vouchers I thought you meant the money off type, in fact you have obviously actually effectively paid for these vouchers so no reason why you should pay for her friend with them.

Ooh, that's a bit cheeky. I would suggest another time for only the two of you.

A bit of honesty here I think is needed.

Why not just tell her you have 2 vouchers to pay for 2 lunches and that will cover the cost of you and your guests meal. If your guests wants to share with her friend the cost of the rest of the bill all well and good or the friend can pay for her own. That is for them to decide.

You should offer a contribution for your drink if that is not ncluded in the voucher.

You are already making a major contribution as one of the vouchers was for a meal you had already paid for not sure how you received the other voucher.

More neck than a giraffe... I'd make an excuse and use the vouchers in some other way... certainly not on freeloaders.

Darned cheek all round in my opinion. I suppose it depends on how gregarious you are, but I personally hate it if someone invites someone else along. I used to have a friend, years ago, who did this. One day when I thought we two were going bowling I found out that we were picking up four other people to come with us to make up a team.
I was so incensed that I made her stop the car and I got out.... in the middle of nowhere as it turned out and I had to get a bus home. Serves me right I suppose. But I still hate people who invite other people without any explanation beforehand.
As for the money/voucher side of it, well, words fail me.
Also, I've just remembered... One of my sons used to date a girl who played in a brass band. One day she turned up for a date, - accompanied, but un-musically - as it were, - by the whole band. The romance didn't last long!

As you had, indirectly, paid for the vouchers I would divide the bill by 3 then deduct the £20 from your share. These were not free , if they had been it would be a different story

I think it's a cheek too.

Sitting looking at the dilemma now I would like to think I would have said a bright "oh no, I was looking forward to us having lunch together. If that's a better day for x, you two go and we can organise another day".

Sadly, I think I would have agreed to her suggestion and been miffed. I think the last people we can be assertive with are long-term friends

I think that I might just go along with it this time . A nice meal out with an old friend and a new friend . To refuse the new friend might mean the loss of an old friend ?
I think she thinks that the vouchers are freebies and wants to join in the bargain - oops .

Did you at any time say you would pay for the entire lunch with your vouchers ? In which case that would cover the two of you but not an extra one ....she has it would seem, been kind to you but you have more than 'paid' for that already ...to invite someone else is a cheek ! However you could explain that 'sadly' you have only two vouchers and your friend's friend would be welcome but you will not unfortunately be able to pay for her as well..... but if she wants to come basis that she will have to pay for her own lunch (however you choose to put it !) then it would be ok ........and you could offer a bottle of wine for everyone.

We used to go out in a group from work but everyone added up exactly what their meal cost and paid that amount so no one paid more than their share. Wine or drinks were split into percentages so we all paid towards the drinks and the tips !

I do feel your friend is being rather rude in not asking you before she seemingly asked her friend. If you are not happy then simply say you have changed your mind and are not feeling up to lunch just yet...and will arrange another lunch for just the two of you another time ...

Difficult one but surely your friend cannot be so isensitive !

I dont understand her thinking at all! If you have already given her a gift for taking you to the hospital. And squared everything up regarding the meal you missed. You dont technically 'owe' her anything.

If she was making another arrangement for you to go for a meal with her and another of her pals; it is up to you to use your vouchers or not.

As for splitting the bill; the easiest way is how we always do it with family, we pay for our own meal/drinks and then add for a tip.

If you dont mind using the voucher/s then do it, but order you meal and drinks and they pay the balance.