Help us: Allow children to see their grandparents

Well thank you for your kindness to me celebgran in deliberately misunderstanding my post and accusing me of "sheer rudeness" very kind indeed.

Off to nurse a very sick, old dog

Yes of course I do Anya and I do feel for you and your family I can't imagine the pain it's a loss one ever recovers from fully.

In myndaighter eyes I did something wrong obviously and I would imagine my s inlaw played huge part but I think very well Anya said most of us could not inflict that level of pain on anyone,
I know I couldn't live with myself I try hard not to hurt anyone I am not a saint just very very vulnerable after 8 years of heartache,

MY dear hairdresser lost a little girl died In womb and thank god she has a beautiful little boy now, but she says never a day goes by she doesn't think of her little daughter, and I can totally relate to that,

?Anya a very good post,

I do think that the complexities of this sort of sad estrangement are unique to each family and that the problem needs to be tackled on an individual basis. The law is a hugely blunt instrument that could create an increase in resentments rather than improving the situation. As I have said before the only thing that matters here is the welfare of the children. The pain of the GPs must be truly dreadful but, as others have said, if the children are happy then that really is all that matters; and I am full of admiration for those GPs who cannot see their GC but accept the status quo as they know that fighting it will cause confusion and anxiety for their DGC.

Annsixty you compared gifts of car and £50 unfavourably did I misinterpret that?if so I apologise.

I am Still reeling from sending cheque for my ds stepson 18th no thanks likewise aftershave tie for younger one birthday plus 2 large Estee eggs no thanks,
I guess I just find that so ungrateful and rude we are on fixed income.
Therefore you touched a nerve,

Why would I deliberately misinterpret a post. . .?
Please don't look for trouble

Lucklgirl itnis. Very complicated sad situation

A friend won court order, saw her grandkids regularly but ended in heartache when oldest became 16 ed moved away never saw her again at same time her husband died, daughter sent card saying sorry I loved my dad?!
Weird way to show it,

Anya isnit your dog?

Myndear little Rosie still fighting onat 14 despite huge scare last month her bladder seems fine now we take each day as
a bonus

Yes I did compare them unfavourably so you didn't misunderstand, and in your eyes I an obviously wrong.

Sorry annsixty just read your other post ??

I expect lack contact was the reason lesser gift at least they sent something.

Let's continue with the kindness as Anya said!?

Well we are all different to my mind it's the thought rather than the value and £50 is a nice amount to receive annsixty surely?

Take your point compared to car, but if there had been no contact??

Things never black and white are they?

Sadly not.

Unfortunately the blunt instrument of the law will not stop parents or GPs from sewing the seeds of negativity in the minds of the GC, any more than it does in child/parent custody/access cases. The law can tell parents/GPs what to do, but cannot stop either undermining that by spreading poison about the other party, to the detriment of the children's well-being.

Very complex and very sad.

Wellsaid luckygirl ??

Sad situation where there are now winners, in ourncase we would have been happy to have given so much love care and help to the little ones but sadly will never get the chance, they also lost their only blood uncle etc etc,

Typo s? Meant no winners

My deepest sympathies, Anya, on the loss of your precious gc.

Yoga, how odd that sil cut you out AFTER you helped him and ed get back together. Maybe he didn't like what you said, but it was true and, obviously, he believed you. Hard to fathom his behavior (as you well know, I suppose).

Thanks celeb for explaining more about The Children's Act, etc. Sorry ed wouldn't do mediation. At least, you tried.

My s.i.l & his mother are Narcissists Starlady take no criticism, even if not meant as such. My D warned me once to never mention the fact that my GD is not his child as he would go into a rage! He has told everyone [who would believe] that she is his child. He was definitely getting rid of my D, when she was allowed to return home, he had destroyed all photos of her with the C, only him left in pics! It took him 6 weeks to work on my D to agree to cut me out! It was only at this time I began to see the real J. The children must have suffered, I know my GD began to wet herself, imagine your mother suddenly disappearing from the home and all the pictures of her vanishing, I'm sure he made a big show of the destruction of the pics too!

When Mr. S. and I were tentatively looking into going to court for access to our GC, a dear friend made a very valid point. She asked how much worse it would be for us if for a time we managed to get contact and build a relationship with him, to eventually lose it.

As I've previously posted, we never had the opportunity to do so as he was just a baby, 8 months old the last time we saw him. Knowing how painful it is for us I can only imagine how more so it must be for EGP's who did know their GC before they were taken away.

Not a troll from Mumsnet, if you're interested....
You could look at my Ehlers-Danloss post today.

Smileless

Smilelss a very valid point, but all then wonderful joy of being grandparents was ruined and going to court would have just meant the end of any relationship with our daughter which would have distressed us even more,

Also the contact would not have been normal contact would it?

Just so very very sad for us all smileless ?Yogagirl?All of us we just can only hope to be at peace with ourselves,