Guests for 4 days

I am still taking notes

I think you've put your finger on it Faye - it depends on the guests whether this is doable or not. Because we moved away from older family and friends we do a lot of visiting and have people visiting us in return. Usually the stay is 3-5 days as it's hardly worth the journey for less time. My BiL from the US is due next month for a 10-day stay.

We're both in our 70s now but love catching up and I enjoy cooking for guests, though we usually go out for lunch and invariably they take up out for dinner at least once. I arrange places of interest they might like to visit and enjoy showing them round our area. But I'm upfront too. I tell guest to help themselves to tea and show them how to use the coffee machine, and where any snacks can be found. If I'm tired by, for example, 10.00pm I just excuse myself and go to bed.

DH is a bit of a grump and has a few health problems, but he manages to rise to the occasion and will often take male visitors out for a drink in the evening for a bit of male bonding while I play catch up the news with their wives.

Yes, it can be a bit tiring but it's worth it to catch up with friends and family and then there's that lovely feeling when your house is your own again....until the GC invade.

It's all too easy as we get older to just pull up the draw-bridge and repel all invaders and slowly sink into routine and isolation.

Everything you said anya, keep lines of communication open for when you are the only one behind your drawbridge

As the old (Greek?) proverb says, both fish and guests stink after 4 days!

Personally, it depends a lot on who the guests are. If it's people who are very 'easy', who I don't feel obliged to blitz the house for, then usually fine, if not for too long.

If it's people who are not easy, or who I don't already have a very comfortable relationship with, then I won't do that any more.

Not long ago I had two separate lots of relatives from across the pond who I hardly knew, inviting themselves and staying a lot longer than 4 days.
Never again. It was definitely cases of 'free hotel' and frankly taking the p*ss.

Having said that, if anyone's health is not great, and they just don't feel like having other people in the house, then as far as I'm concerned they should not be afraid to say so.
And if the would-be guests don't like it, tough.

And give the (health) reasons, I should have added.
Reasonable people will understand.

Would you be able to ask where they are staying? Because you'd like to have them over or meet up for tea. Just assume they are staying nearby and act all surprised if they retort they are staying with you. Especially as their son is 'not easy'.

Where are The Colonies? Near the Canaries?

Personally I hate staying with people and don't want them staying with me.
Staying with people I find all the business of who's turn it is for the bathroom, should I offer to help wash up/vacuum etc. and what about the cost of the food, what is the protocol here.
We have a caravan and that is useful if we want to visit over night say. Failing that we'll book a hotel.
I like to see people, but after a few hours we have usually covered all the news and then go on our merry way.

Where are The Colonies? Near the Canaries? The Canaries are Spain's Colonies
ours are kind of underneath us (well, some of them are)
Some are across the Pond
and yet more you have to tunnel diagonally through the Earth to get there

Glad it's not just me, overthehill, I hate staying with people too, unless I know them extremely well. If Dh wants to go and stay with relatives of his who I don't know, or hardly know, that's fine - but he goes on his own.

I don't sleep well at the best of times and in someone else's house, when you hardly know them, you don't exactly feel able to root around their kitchen and make yourself a cup of tea at 3 am, let alone put the TV on, too.
At least, I don't. As I get older I appreciate my own home comforts more and more.

At the moment we have the opposite problem. We are going to Spain next week and 2 couples and 1 friend on his own want us to stay with them. I thankfully came up with a fiesable excuse to stay with the one we want to stay with.

OK The Colonies, badly put. To me, in the UK, they are Australians and Canadians. Freeloaders all of them who have visited me.

Well - she is here. My DD just popped round to pick her child up and asked this lady when she is staying till and she said Sunday!!! - news to me!; she had said she was going on Saturday! Hmm. Do you see what I mean about this person?!

Melanie

The Australians I know are extremely hospitable and generous and probably assume the British would be the same if they visit them here!

Could you not have primed your DGC to respond 'But I thought you were only staying until Saturday! Why are you staying until Sunday'

Our business is very international and if a customer wants to come and visit OH always says they can stay with us "stay for a few days, the wifie (we are in Scotland) will show you round". Would be a bit more OK if I got some gratitude. OH usually gets a bottle of whisky, I might be lucky if I get taken out for dinner. Then there is family who come to stay - no problems with them they know where the kitchen is! But I have managed to double book and had family and customers at the same time - nightmare (and son and dil slept in a single bed, without complaining).

I think the worst was a couple who came from Australia. I collected them from the airport (hour drive), cooked dinner and breakfast, took them back to the airport and they didn't buy anything and certainly no present for me. OH got a piece of wood - which is not suitable for his work!

You would have 'liked' one of my Canadian freeloaders, Melanie! 50s cousin I had never met, came straight in, feet up on the sofa, never offered anything at all, and when he wanted to go out for a drink with 30s dd one night, he didn't put his hand in his pocket until she made a point of saying, 'Your round now,'.
He stayed 10 nights, I took him all over the place to see the sights, paid for it all, and there wasn't so much as an email to say thank you after he left.

Never again. There are guests I love having to stay, but some people really do take the p*ss.

We generally love the Colonials. It's usually said with tongue in cheek. They have an attitude to life that is refreshing. And we've never had freeloaders,always very generous with return hospitality.

Luckygirl oops! Your heart must have sunk! Too late now to adopt surprised expression and say "Oh dear, we were going out/away for the weekend/have other visitors arriving" on Saturday evening.

When I moved house recently, I deliberately chose one that had only 1 bedroom. Nowhere for guests to stay, problem solved!

chewbacca my parents did that! I am one of seven and my mother just had enough - we had all left home.

Could you cope with having them to stay if you don't have to take them out and about? We have friends to stay for five days at a time but they know they will have to go out on their own and they don't expect fancy meals.
If it is too much for you then be honest and tell them. DHs parents told us we could no longer stay when it got too much for them (even though we took all the food) but we didn't fall out with them. If offering BnB only is still too much for you and your husband then tell them.

I feel better knowing that I'm not alone dreading visitors! Trying to keep the atmosphere light between them and husband who is not at his best. Keep the gin handy!

As the weekend progresses I realise that the central problem is that my OH has always left me to talk to his relatives - when we visited or they visited us, he just did/does his own thing and leaves me to "entertain" them. To be fair to this lady, she is scatty, but has gone out of her way to help me with some things I have not been able to manage. But I can feel my resentment building up towards OH who just wants to read or watch TV as if she is not there.

Hang on in there lucky, I feel a conversation coming on with your OH when your visitor has gone. Mr C can be the same, depends who the visitor is. Would be good to be able to switch off like that.