Guests for 4 days

Glenfinnan - it is hard when guests have no concept of what hard work it can be having folk to stay - "Oh we will be no trouble" cuts no ice when, like you, there is someone with health problems in the house. Sometimes things just hold together and having folk to stay tips the balance too far to cope. That is how it has felt for me this weekend and I am hoping that you have found a way of resolving your problem

Well, it's dh's home, too, and certainly not the op's brother's. It's hard to have to choose between one's db and one's dh, but I think where the first loyalty lays is obvious. If dh were just being controlling or trying to keep her brother away, for some reason, that would be different. But his health is poor, he tires easily, etc. So, imo, his concerns are real.

Besides, what is this with people inviting themselves to stay in someone else' home? How about waiting for an invitation?

But, of course, you can't say that to db, glen. So I'm with those who say to let him know that you'd love to see him and his family when they are there, but can't put them up. If they offer to help, just decline and let them know that "won't work." Either they'll find accommodations elsewhere or they'll stay home. The latter may be best, at this time, though I know you'll miss them.

Luckgirl - I also hope your unwelcome relative "takes the 'ump" and stays away.

An alternative would be to suggest a nearby B&B and see them during the day.
We might do that next time our family comes, because we only have 2 bedrooms, and it means schlepping extra beds upstairs every time they come, and dismantling them after they've gone.

I have family members living many miles away who invite themselves to stay with us. They arrive by train, so any trips out and about, we have to take them. On asking how long they'll be here for, the response is, Oh, we have open ended tickets so we can stay till you get fed up with us!!
The hospitality is not returned as Oh we haven't got the room, the kids have left home but we've still got all their stuff here!
I'm going to have to toughen up as I'm feeling taken advantage of, although I get on well with relatives it is getting a bit too much now,