I still get irritated by this - AIBU to hate being referred to as a 'girl'...

I and my friends sometimes refer to ourselves as "the old fogeys" or "old bats".
That doesn't mean we'd want to be addressed that way by someone else.

.........^reading for affect rather than what is written^ (Monday 23.00)

I don't think "affect" can even BE a noun

But GGMk2 to say yet again I have no idea what you are talking about MawBroon...
that is unworthy

The expression I DO find patronising is 'young lady'. I am 72. Don't mind being called a girl though!

When I was about 48 and working alongside a woman of the same age a 20-something man used to come into our office and jointly address us as "young ladies" constantly throughout a conversation. It irritated us both and we asked him to stop it.

He was a bit hurt and surprised and said he thought we would like it and be flattered! We explained that it was irritating and patronising and we weren't in need of flattery. When asked he admitted that he wouldn't dream of addressing the female director as young lady, and she was young.

Again, all about context.

I can't see why it would bother anyone. He was just being friendly. Can't stand all this having to watch what we say. It's how he is with you what matters. Why would you feel any less than you are?

This girl is just going on a girly day out with other girls of the same age, not sure what the boys are going today without us! Don't mind being a girl or anything else like love sweetie etc. But mind you I have been known to reply to shop assistants who called me dear in a very patronising voice, if you don't mind miss I would prefer to be called madam!

I used to like being called Madam in John Lewis, those were the days. Don't like "Dear".
DD did part of her gap year working for JL and she told me they were trained to have a quick look at the customer's account card when presented at the department till and use her name thereafter.
Off to study Economics at University that September she quipped (oh foolish girl) "Any relation of Nigel?" when she saw the surname Lawson on one card. "My husband, actually" purred Lady Lawson. Oops

Aslemma couldn't have put it better myself!
Why do some women think they are being patronised?
It's the same when men hold doors open for them or offer seats on trains or buses, can't they see that these men are just being nice people? Or is it me

It is interesting that the National Federation of Women's Institutes began in 1915
The National Federation of Townswomen's Guilds began in 1929

But the National Housewives' Register started in 1960 - supposedly the era of liberation for women!

At least it changed its name to National Women's Register in 1987.

I have noticed that our lovely social secretary of one of the above-mentioned groups calls 'Come on Girls' when she wants to chivvy us up on one of our outings. She must be 78 herself.

MawBroon

I was rather hoping the posters who are so upset by the use of the word 'girls' had answered my post where I asked how they felt about being called a LASSIE in Lancashire, a LITTLE UN in Somerset and a HINNY in Newcastle.

I have no idea MawBroon and Jelima why you would want to pick up someone who has elsewhere explained that using IT, checking and re-checking does not stop the odd mistake or even gap in my knowledge which, I appreciate, can be weird - dyslexia is like that. I would add tends to get worse as I get tired. You have reminded me very clearly of the teachers who call people with my problem 'stupid' etc., in front of everyone else. I can see you find it very amusing; I remember children like that.

This was not a thread on pedantry but manners and, it seems to me that those with 'manners' which would choose to put down people for the odd error on a general thread are also likely to be those who refuse to take into account that times have changed and some people will find some words, which used to be acceptable, have been revealed to be powerful in putting people down or 'in their place' It would be thoughtful to make them feel comfortable after all that is what good manners are about - even if you are sniggering in the corner about it afterwards.

Well said, GracesGranMK2!

GGMK"
I wouldn't dream of picking up someone on their spelling and grammar normally as it is not very kind, I agree, and I do not find it amusing; other posters who have a problem would, I am sure, agree that I am not rude or unkind to them.
However, some of the posts you have addressed to me recently have not been pleasant - for what reason I do not know - and I had just had enough.

I said that: reading for affect doesn't make sense as I could not understand the context or, in fact, what was meant at all

a comment to which the response was:

Not a lot seems to for you tonight Jalima

sluttygran if you think that and other even more rude or excoriating comments are fine then I must be outnumbered!

Nobody said anybody was stupid.
The post in question did not make sense.
jalima was dismissed because apparently "not much made sense to her"
Then I got got the second barrel " yet again I have no idea what you are talking about MawBroon. "

FGS could we just chill and calm down a bit?
This thread started as a grumble about a "nice chap" (age unspecified) greeting a 60 and a 65 year old woman with "Hi, girls"
Big deal?
Hardly.

My comment was certainly not excoriating Jalima. That is a huge exaggeration.

Try page 6 POGS I answered immediately.

However, some of the posts you have addressed to me recently have not been pleasant - for what reason I do not know - and I had just had enough.

My first post of the evening was not to you or about you Jelima. It quoted something someone else had said and I get the feeling you did not realise that and used your misunderstanding to challenge me for the very opposite of what I was suggesting. I did say I was not sure what you were complaining about - I wasn't! You then made two rather trivialising comments - which is fine but then do not expect to be taken seriously - and it appeared to me that you were both reading and replying just to get an affect/effect (you choose) that was unpleasant (although far from excoriating of course). You then started the hare running re my use of the word 'affect (or was it effect?)' and said you it didn't make sense but as nothing I had written seemed to be making sense to you I replied that "Not a lot seems to for you tonight Jalima." It didn't, and I could have been much more excoriating than I was. MawBroon decided to give me an English lesson even though I had happily admitted that "It could well be grammatically incorrect or spelt incorrectly Jalima although I do spend an inordinate amount of time trying to ensure it isn't."

When I commented on the simple bad manners of picking someone up as you and MawBroon did you tried to justify it by blaming me and your shortness of patience. So in your world two wrongs make a right?

I did attack a post you made sometime ago Jalima but then realised I had misread it. I pointed out that I had been in a hurry to get to my mother's and realised on the way over that this is what I might have done and I APOLOGISED. If you are still taking umbrage there is little I can do, I'm afraid.

E & OE

Your posts are sometimes unpleasant GGM2 which is why some posters run out of patience with you.It's nothing to do with dyslexia.

that should read 'nothing' btw

It appears that very few posterscare bothered by being addressed as a girl.

That's very true Rosesared, I just don't get why some posters spoil a thread by trying to make themselves seem superior by turning it into a 'oneupmanship' battle about grammatical correctness ! If thats grammatically correct ??

Perhaps they are genuinely by a statement which does not make sense immediately
Or perhaps they get fed up of being put down and made to feel stupid on threads

Who knows?

GracesGranMK2
I have noticed that you never pull up a 'prolific poster' on the politics thread who often pulls up people for spelling mistakes. I completely understand why, though.
And please don't ask me to explain that last sentence because it's as plain as the nose on everyone's face.