I still get irritated by this - AIBU to hate being referred to as a 'girl'...

What silly things people get upset about. I'd hate anyone to come up to me in a group and say "Hello women". Girls is fine and just lighthearted.

I'm more offended by being referred to as 'guys' these days when I go out, especially when I'm out with my girlfriends and there are NO men in our party. It's just lazy language, the same with people using 'like' all the time as a padding word that has no context meaning.
I've often said to waiting staff that greet us "hey guys how are you"? "Sorry we're women not men, why not say, Hi everyone"?

Lovely that a nice chap came up and said hello at all - rather than being churlish about being referred to as girls - welcome it, you may find yourself in a situation where nobody speaks you at all.

I feel flattered to be called a "girl" and my singing group all call one another "girls". It's nice. I call every fella I meet "darling" and they take it in the spirit it's meant!

Okay. I've just caught up on the discussion, and thanks.
First. I've know said chap for at least 24 years. He is older than me by a couple of years.
Second. Context. We were at church. There is a long history of women being treated as subservient in church, and also of not being allowed to have a voice. That may well have coloured my reaction. Probably did!

Trish - thanks - you get it!

But it was lighthearted ... it was my reaction that surprised me I guess ... visceral. Especially since the church has come a long way in recognising equality of women...

Because you said "arguing a case isn't taking offence" thatbags I was simply pointing out that some have gone beyond arguing.
It is very odd that people feel they have the absolute right to criticise my feminist principles when I have told them they can call each other what they like and only asked them to recognise someone's right to find the term 'girls" patronising, given my reasons for this, and asked them to be aware of the culture of youth we live in.

Sounds like he was being pleasant and friendly. But doubt he will be saying it again!

I have to say I agree with N&G never bothered me at all.

Maybe it's fine for us to refer to ourselves as girls, but not for men to do it. A bit like black people reclaiming the 'n' word. I don't think anyone would argue that because black people use that word to describe themselves it would be ok for white people to do so.

TriciaF's reference to As you Like It reminds me that males, too, may be upset by how they are addressed. Coriolanus's final hissy-fit is brought on by Aufidius calling him a boy. He replies:-

...... Like an eagle in a dove-cote, I
Fluttered your Volscians in Corioli.
Alone I did it. 'Boy!'

Perhaps if Aufidius had said "young man of tears" rather than "thou boy of tears" Coriolanus would not have been so upset, there would have been a happy ending, and the play would be classed as a comedy..

Either way, I bet nobody addressed his fearsome mother Volumnia as "girl".

I hate being called a girl and will always counter with a smile "it's a long time since I was a girl
Yes, but Lesley you smile and reply in a good-humoured way

Perhaps next time the nice man will ask how 'you women' or even 'you harridans' are

harridan, def: a strict, bossy, or belligerent old woman.

Or he will probably avoid you altogether which will solve the problem.

You can only be infantilised if you behave like an infant

sorry, he was not a 'nice man', he was a 'nice chap'

Chap, def: The definition of a chap is a man or boy.

Girl, def 2: a young or relatively young woman.

Probably better than 'old biddies' or 'you women' if 'ladies' is demeaning too.

I think you are over-reacting to an innocent comment. Anyway must go as I am lunching with the girls....oops sorry WOMEN! Doesn't have quite the same ring to it does it! Relax and enjoy.

Second. Context. We were at church. There is a long history of women being treated as subservient in church, and also of not being allowed to have a voice. That may well have coloured my reaction. Probably did!

Is it fair to let one's own agenda - conscious or hidden - colour one's interpretation of an innocent remark?
We use the term "chaps" entirely innocently, why should "girls" have paternalistic, patronising, or demeaning connotations unless we choose to attribute them ourselves?

And given that you were in a state of grace at church, would a little Christian charity not have been appropriate?

The most offensive thing I've seen on here is being told by a contemporary to 'grow up'.
A girl a woman a lady it's all context.
Just thought I'd pop in today ?

My OH hates being referred to as a guy

Is your OH female BPJ?

one of DD's friends always asks 'How are you guys?' referring to DH and me
But as he is a lovely young man and is polite enough to ask and seems genuinely interested in the answer I don't mind.

Ok here's a definition of girl and its origins for you

Girl does not go back to any Old English or Old Germanic form. It is part of a large group of Germanic words whose root begins with a g or k and ends in r. The final consonant in girl is a diminutive suffix. The g-r words denote young animals, children, and all kinds of creatures considered immature, worthless, or past their prime.

So go with it all you 'girls' you can choose to be any of those things!

I don't much like being called a "guy," although it's common everywhere now. It's one of those things we put up with. And being called a "girl" is absolutely fine by me! There are too many things worth worrying about to make this one of them. I do know someone who uses, "Hello, people!"

What a bloody old misery OP is - 65 myself and would live to be called a girl. My pet hate is hun ... omg ... that's the worst!!!!

love ... bloody predictive text!

'Hello Peeps' is one I have heard used

or past their prime.
trisher that is probably me!

Are we allowed to say 'Steady on, old girl' or would that sound like a farmer addressing his very old favourite carthorse?

Trisher you know what they say about lies , lies and damn statistics? Well I think that can apply to definitions too- depending on where you look.

The English word girl first appeared during the Middle Ages between 1250 and 1300 CE and came from the Anglo-Saxon word gerle (also spelled girle or gurle).

Girl

a female child, from birth to full growth
a friendly informal reference for a grown-woman
a synonym for daughter
can be used positively meaning gender rather than age.

I guess it all depends on the mindset of the girl