I still get irritated by this - AIBU to hate being referred to as a 'girl'...

OP not been back to comment yet?

I actually get irritated by people who start an anecdote with 'Okay', but it's really not worth pointing it out...

I cannot understand why Carolghill and trisher in particular, and others who agree with them, are getting such stick. I too would have found the use of "girls" patronising and offensive. We may not all agree about these things - obviously we don't - but there is no need, IMO, for such vitriol.

Anyway, why couldn't the man just have said "Hi"?

To be fair, Carolghill did respond back about page 6. I think she noted her reaction was a bit visceral, but felt she needed to make her view known to him. So as she does know him for a number of years, this will likely not affect their 'relationship'...hopefully.

The continuing posts are more to debate trisher's POV that it was anti-women/feminist for him to have said it. It certainly was not as I can see a deliberate put down of women!

DH just came into the kitchen as I was attacking a butternut squash with great vigour.

"My word, you're a stout girl" he said

I said "What do you mean STOUT?"
(I did notice the 'girl' but decided best to leave that)

He said "I mean stout of spirit not the other meaning"!!


but he did carry on peeling the butternut squash.

ps I foregot to say he gave me a hug as he said 'stout girl'

did that make it better?

forgot

Sorry, Lewlew, missed the OP's second post.

I think I have just managed to read most of this thread and I am more offended by the women who think they can tell me that the way I think is wrong. How dare they.

Makes my blood boil too! The doctor at work will say ' the girls will do it for you' meaning the group of mature nurses, with years of experience between us. How belittling. Call us what we are - nurses, family, ladies! Anything but girls!

We are all different, and therefore have different feelings. Sometimes, however, it might be best to just let it go over your head.

Speaking to a senior at work I used the term "new boy" of a new colleague. Was asked not to call him that by senior. As a group of receptionists we were called "the girls". Two sets of rules??

Haha- called a girl's fine, but I hate reading in the newspaper: "elderly 60 year old pensioner...." why does paper need to use the word elderly?

I prefer 'girls' to 'ladies' but the gentleman (is that patronising?) in question should be advised in future to stick to gender-neutral greeting - 'Hello everyone', for example. I once had a boyfriend (long long ago) who called me 'babe', which I loathed but made allowances for his being American.

I dislike being labelled elderly too kitty, 60 is young for that. Seems like we all have different levels of tolerance.

Well, if "ladies" sounds like something from the 50s, what on earth is "chap" about? Where I come from, people are still sometimes addressed as pet. In some languages, you'd just be addressed as auntie or grandma. Frankly, if someone's being friendly and not meaning to offend, I couldn't care less.

Yes, it's all about the context isn't it? It seems to me that in this case the man thought he was being friendly and that's all.

I agree about 'chap' Maggie.

I love the word chap. There's a chippiness (beef fat fried, natch) about it and, like guys nowadays, one can use it of chappesses as well.

And there's chapping in dominoes
and chapping on doors,
chapped lips (not good)
or knees! believe it or not
in my first year at uni
cos my 'duffer' coat wasn't long enough
and Dundee's a darn sight chillier
than the Fylde.

Dude is good too.

Has anyone suggested using the term "madam"? If they haven't it might be because, like me, they'd been called a "proper little madam" when they were a child. And I have to admit that I frequently was a "proper little madam"!

One of my secret wishes was to be a ' Madam ' naughty I know but such fun ! !

As someone said,we are all different,so it's impossible to win isn't it,your bound to upset somebody.
I say to hell with it,as long as you know in your heart of hearts you meant no offence,and you know you are being polite if a person wants to be offended that's their problem,sad little things.

Mesdames?
or they could be mesdemoiselles
Who knows?
The OP doesn't say

Someone further back did mention 'madam', but it was included in the list of names she didn't mind at all being called

I don't personally mind being referred to as a 'girl' but what annoys me is when I get letters referring to me as Ms. My marital status is no business of anyone else's but mine. My thoughts are if you don't know don't put anything!