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Pulling yourself together.

(62 Posts)
loopyloo Tue 02-May-17 14:25:02

I really seem to have got into a mess. I had a cold and now have a chesty cough. And am now in the habit of eating too much and the house needs tidying up. Where do you people start? How do you pull yourself together?

Craftycat Wed 03-May-17 10:24:38

Go for a short walk every day- it's a pain when it is raining but dog walks=ers have to do it. Start short & build up. It s such a small thing but very soon begins to help. When I lost my dog I used to take a small radio of phone with me & ear bugs so I could listen to music or radio while I walked.
It is amazing how much better you feel afterwards & sometimes you meet people to chat with too.
You may find you start walking further each day & your RALLY do feel better when you get back home.

Nanna58 Wed 03-May-17 10:31:30

Hi Loopyloo, just be kind to yourself , no one is up to large chores after being poorly. As for the eating you oils add in some Floradix or Metatone, both very good 😊 when you've been ill and need a boost. Get well soon

Kim0612 Wed 03-May-17 10:33:03

You've made the first step by posting on here for suggestions, I always think you feel better for hearing all the ideas from each individual and in turn you feel as though you are not alone in the way you are feeling. Be kind to yourself and as others have said, little steps, one at a time.

Nanna58 Wed 03-May-17 10:33:15

Sorry, 'always could' morphed into 'oils'🤣

annsixty Wed 03-May-17 10:35:40

I also have 4 hours cleaning fortnightly and is really does take a lot of pressure off. They will do an extra one if we have visitors(rarely) but it enables you to do pleasurable things instead of chores.

Lilyflower Wed 03-May-17 10:43:10

Illness will throw you right off track. Don't blame yourself for feeling down and unable to eat properly.

I had a recent massive allergic attack which threw my immune system off kilter and triggered all sorts of minor viruses which, in turn, set off my asthma. The complaints and the cures (strong steroids for a while) kept me feeling alien in my own body and I knew I was putting on pounds and losing my level of fitness.

As I have got better, and after a course of antibiotics for the inevitable infection caused by all the shenanigans, I am back to strength. It has taken time and reassuring myself that things would return to normal.

I gradually felt myself again and was able to resume walking and my usual regime.

As for the extra eating, I set short term time goals, for example, in the mid morning I'd decide not to have anything until 12.30 and, to get there, I'd distract myself by ironing a few shirts and listen to Radio Four 'Catch-Up' while doing so.

Or it can be done the other way around. Say, 'if I can last 3/4 hour without eating I can have an apple or 20 nuts n' raisins.' Either works.

You will get better and on top of things. It takes time.

moobox Wed 03-May-17 10:50:07

Just tell people you have flu, and lie down. THat's what men do.

Lupatria Wed 03-May-17 11:13:42

sometimes doctors won't prescribe antibiotics for a cough - they just say that it's due to a virus and you don't treat viruses with antis. not what you need to hear though.
i've been "off colour" since last september when i had cellulitis in my arthritic knee and i couldn't walk for quite some time - it was so very painful.
but since october i've been able to walk a bit better [it's still painful] although i can't walk very far so can't really go for a walk anywhere.
the hospital i was referred to for a knee replacement op decided that my bmi i was 0.2 above the maximum for an op and told me to go away and lose weight!!
i have been losing weight slowly, very slowly, for the past two years and my doctor is very pleased with me and i have now reduced my bmi to where the hospital want. unfortunately i had a steroid injection into my knee in january [which didn't work unlike the others i've had every four months for several years] and the hospital won't do an op until after july. so my doctor is referring me for physio and hydrotherapy to strengthen my body for the op. i can't go to a public swimming pool as i can't walk from the changing room to the pool [and back again].
loopyloo - baby steps are what's needed. i know how you feel about housework as mine's been building up for months. daughter and grandaughters who live with me aren't very good with housework at all and it seems that it's just me whe gets stuff done.
i've worked out a way of doing things which means that i can potter and get things done and have a sit down. i potter until my back aches [can't stand with my weight equally on both feet which hurts my back] and then i sit down until it's rested. and then i start again with whatever i was doing before.
it used to take me a morning to go through my house and get it clean and sparkling - now if i've got the loo and bathroom clean and sparkling in a day i'm happy! well, not happy but it's better than nothing.
so sorry this has been such a long post - i'm sure you'll find your energy again soon and, when you have, you'll be able to potter around and get your housework done and you'll find that anything you eat will be "worked off" by doing housework. and then, later in the summer, you'll be a little lighter and your house will sparkle again.
just wish i could get mine done ........... but i will once i've had my op and recovered.

loopyloo Wed 03-May-17 12:35:59

Thanks so much everyone. Went to doctor this am and she said my chest was clear and she reduced my statins.I found this very heartening and reassuring so had a coffee in Costa, ordered new spec frames, had a manicure for £10, found exactly the book I wanted in B H F, and bought a new silvery watch strap for £8.
I might suggest to my husband that I get a cat. He really does not want one but he is not the person who spends all day alone. They are just a bit of company.
The book I found was the next in the series of the no1 detective agency, which I have just discovered about a decade after everyone else.
And lo , Chris Tarrant"s extreme railway journey was in Botswana.

sarahellenwhitney Wed 03-May-17 12:40:42

Don't give it a thought just yet.Your infection/virus is taking over you.So plenty of soothing drinks ie honey and lemon feet up watching tv, early nights then once the 'bugs' have left your system you will be raring to go.

Caro1954 Wed 03-May-17 13:16:46

Loopyloo, I'm in the same position so sympathise totally. Recovering from an op so can only do a little bit of something before feeling exhausted. DH doing the cooking so how can I say, "not another pie/pizza/convenience dish"?! I can just feel the pounds piling on and see the carpet disappearing under "bits"! So am going to try some of the advice on here - Anya and MawBroon I think! Good luck and get well soon!

sarahellenwhitney Wed 03-May-17 14:17:57

Do not deny yourself food or wait long hours before food.
Your blood sugar levels will drop /low blood sugar can cause you to pass out.
First thing in the morning you need energy.2small eggs scrambled with rasher grilled bacon.tea or coffee no sugar semi skim milk
Mid morning a banana and a few raisins
Lunch. Tinned salmon sandwich no butter on bread plenty of omega oils in salmon an apple or low fat yogurt.
Afternoon tea coffee small slice madeira cake or couple rich tea biscuits
Evening meal Ham, cut off fat,and as much salad veg as you like.Low cal salad dressing Low calorie carton of rice pudding
Vary your meals but never go without food.
lots of water between meals minimum of six glasses a day. I quarantee you will lose weight without denying yourself food.

W11girl Wed 03-May-17 14:37:07

Step 1...Visit your GP for medication for your chest. Step 2 - Give yourself a chance to recover, tackle small jobs and if you're mood hasn't changed go back to GP...u may need a little help. Good luck...

HurdyGurdy Wed 03-May-17 18:11:13

As has been said above already - concentrate on getting yourself well again. The mess/filth/dust/ crud will still be there when you're better :D

Once you are feeling up to it, decide what area needs attention the hose. Then get a kitchen timer and set it for five minutes. That's all. Five minutes tackling your chosen area, and then let yourself rest. When you're feeling rested, do another five minutes. And continue until you have caught up, increasing your stints by a minute at a time until you are fully better.

I always find, when I'm recovering from an illness and feeling very weary, small chunks seem more manageable than trying to tackle a massive task.

I hope you're feeling better soon

Brigidsdaughter Thu 04-May-17 00:35:38

Hi Loopyloo, hope you feel better soon. Buying a book and having a manicure is very uplifting. I'd suggest a good dose of Vitamin D too plus those strong Vitamin and zinc drinks and decide ahead of time that in the next day or so you're not going to do any housework, then you'll be guilt free. I hate housework, it looks overwhelming, then doesnt get done, which is depressing. Just not my thing. I now work part time which switches me on and helps me tackle things.

Wildswan, you're a genius about using the ad breaks! Nothing like a deadline!

loopyloo Thu 04-May-17 10:45:51

Dear Sara Hallen Witney, I love your diet plan. Please would you make up more days or write a book ! Thanks for the advice.

Aslemma Thu 04-May-17 15:27:40

I feel for you Loopyloo as I'm in a similar position. In September 2015 I had a triple by-pass, last March I was hospitalized with pneumonia, later on I got sciatica which now seems to have given way to my osteoporosis and arthritis. I can only stand for a short while which makes things like ironing difficult, nor can I get down on my knees which precludes quite a few jobs. 'A nice walk' is out of the question as I can't even walk as far as the bus stop. Every so often I try and tackle a few jobs and let the rest wait. 😕

Witzend Sat 13-May-17 09:18:32

Much sympathy. I was exhausted after over a week of toddler care while baby grandson was in hospital. Got a really horrible cold right after, that left me feeling utterly washed out, then shingles on top!

For the past few weeks I have done the absolute bare minimum of cleaning, tidying, and have spent an awful lot of time lying on the sofa with a good book/watching rubbish telly.
I would make myself do just one small thing at a time, e.g. tidy the kitchen just enough, put some washing on, etc.

Energy is slowly returning - yesterday I made myself get out in the sun and walk (downhill!). 20 mins to the supermarket - got the bus back, though.
Was also eating too much 'easy' food, like buttered toast! But yesterday did make myself a stir fry with lots of veggies.

If you are feeling rubbish with/after a nasty infection, I don't think you should feel at all bad about resting and letting a lot of things go hang for a while.

But I agree about seeing the GP - it may be that antibiotics are needed, though of course they are much more reluctant to prescribe these nowadays.
I do hope you will be feeling a lot better soon.

Witzend Sat 13-May-17 09:22:17

Forgot to add, one thing I did eat loads of (still am) was satsumas/clementines. Nice and easy and full of vitamin C!

goldengirl Sat 13-May-17 11:23:04

Take it gently - a step at a time. What's the worst that can happen? That's what I keep telling myself. I've had a severe back problem which has limited my activity and a flipping cough but I found that if I did just one thing a day eg clothes washing or vac one room I didn't feel so bad. I then had a friend round who I'd not seen for a while and just dusted the bits she might be able to see. Did it matter? No it didn't. We had a very nice catch up and are seeing each again! As another friend said 'it's you I've come to see, not your house'. I'm a lot better now thankfully and my cough responds to a nightly strepsil so at least I sleep OK even if I'm coughing during the day.
loopyloo. Get well soon.

Nelliemoser Thu 08-Feb-18 22:41:38

I have just found this thread by title which it fits.
I am trying to get my brain and morale back in gear.
I realise I have been feeling very negative for a good part of last year and in particular the run up to Christmas.

I have now given myself a sort of kick up the backside to try and be more positive and to stop dwelling on all that I feel or perhaps imagine is going wrong for me. I have signed up for an NHS recommended online mindfullness course.

Just after Christmas I started doing some meditation type relaxation that I had in the past done in a budddist setting, which has helped.
I think I have been trying to ignore the despairing mess I have/had got myself into.
Any helpful suggestions welcome. (Some sunshine would help but that is genuinely out of my control.)

I probably should not have bottled all this up for so long so I am finally admitting to the thread and myself that I have been in a bit of a mess and I want to change this . all suggestions welcome.
Thank you.

cornergran Thu 08-Feb-18 23:32:20

Firslty nellie so many congratulations for being honest with yourself and daring to share your situation. Huge pat on the back coming your way.

I’m not sure how things are on a practical level, if your home is a bit out of control then start small, don’t try to do it all at once. A positives notebook can help, so jot down everything, no matter how small, that has been good in a day. Anything from hearing birdsong to cleaning the kitchen worktop, anything enjoyable or an achievement, then look over it at the end of the day and be proud of yourself, it also helps if you have one of those ‘it’s been a dreadful day/week’ moments to see it wasnt all bad.

Have you cut yourself off from people? If so dipping a toe back into family or friends can help. Going out each day, whether for a walk or to a shop for a purpose it doesn’t matter. The exercise helps stabilise mood and it’s an opportunity to say a good morning to others. I know it sounds daft but if you smile at people most smile back. Take time to do your hair and makeup if you use it, looking what my Mum used to call tidy helps too.

Those sorts of things can help. For myself I find mindfulness really useful to calm my mind, stop the washing machine whirl it gets into. The only thing I would say is when you begin you may need to suspend disbelief for a while.

There are so many things you could try, I don’t know what you have tried already so won’t go on. It’s important to remember we are all individuals, what works for one doesn’t for another, so if something isn’t helpful then try to think of it as something learned, not failure.

Please don’t exhaust yourself, little changes stick better than big ones. I hope you feel more comfortable with yourself soon and send my very best wishes. Keep talking here if it helps, be lovely to know how things are going for you, flowers.

Jalima1108 Thu 08-Feb-18 23:44:07

Rest and get better first then one day you'll suddenly feel that you can do more, but don't overdo things when you do feel a bit better.

Jalima1108 Thu 08-Feb-18 23:49:09

That was to loopyloo btw

Nelliemoser I think you're taking the first small steps and it really is one step at a time. This is not a great time of year for getting out, getting some sunshine when all we feel like doing is snuggling down indoors and perhaps eating comfort food.

Perhaps when the weather gets a bit better a short stroll each day could help too, just making yourself get out into the fresh air even for a short time helps, but the forecast is not great for the next few days unfortunately. Planning what you can do when you feel a bit better could help too.

Jalima1108 Thu 08-Feb-18 23:50:04

I should have read that before posting, hope it makes sense.