Gransnet forums


Am I just a female Victor Meldrew?

(51 Posts)
Hopehope Sun 07-May-17 12:56:54

If I am a female Victor Meldrew I wonder if any of you agree with me, or am I the only grumpy one?

I was shopping in Sainsbury, and as is often the case there were Children waiting to pack bags,collecting for a Charity, and supervised by an Adult. This time it was a local Child with a Brain Tumor. I know that is a terrible thing, but I cannot give to everything. I object to this " In your face collecting"

The thing I find most annoying is the packing of the bags. Today I said " No thank you I want to pack it myself( it is a trolley). I said that if I don't balance it properly it makes it more difficult pulling it home). I made sure the Woman supervising heard me say this.

She totally ignored me, and started telling the Kids to " Put the Oranges at the bottom". Once again I said I would rather pack it myself, Kids were chucking small stuff in, I was taking it out and starting again. I blame her, not the Children.

Finally I was finished, just putting my Purse away, and she leans across grabbing the next shopper's bags, telling the Kids to start packing. I could have hit her to be honest.

I did not donate any money. The thing is, had they listened to me in the first place I would have put some change in the box.
I felt like telling her that, but she was so bombastic she probably would not have listened in any case.

rosesarered Sun 07-May-17 13:04:01

Don't blame you at all Hope I would have felt the same as you.She wasn't deaf by any chance? [ grin]

rosesarered Sun 07-May-17 13:04:19

Or even grin

gillybob Sun 07-May-17 13:14:16

I don't think YABU at all Hopehope.

I am sick of those tin shakers that stand outside every shop and accost you on the high street too. I do give as much to charity as I can, but can't fill every tin I have stuck under my nose.

Hopehope Sun 07-May-17 13:16:13

Rosesarered. She had selective deafness grin

sunseeker Sun 07-May-17 13:22:59

I agree, like most people I can't give to every charity. I have a number which I support regularly. Hopehope, I don't think YABU either, first she should have asked first if you wanted the bag packed, then backed off when you explained why you wanted to do it yourself.

cornergran Sun 07-May-17 14:02:49

I share your frustration, I also prefer to pack my own bags. Some charity collectors don't take no for an answer. Having said that it is acknowledged that I have become a seriously grumpy old woman. grin.

Hopehope Sun 07-May-17 14:12:45

I think you and me both, Cornergran smile

rosesarered Sun 07-May-17 14:24:20

The last time two boys packed my shopping I found a completely squashed pack of four egg custards at the bottom of a bag under a pile ot tins.
Now I say to them, 'just pack the heavy things please!'

Jane10 Sun 07-May-17 14:28:50

I pack for myself but will give a donation to any worthy cause except private school children bag packing to fund their ski holidays!!

rosesarered Sun 07-May-17 14:41:35

.....or any children wanting a trip to Disney Land grin

kittylester Sun 07-May-17 14:56:34

Contact the store and tell them - nicely.

vampirequeen Sun 07-May-17 14:56:56

I don't think you were being unreasonable because you asked them not to do it.

Christinefrance Sun 07-May-17 15:25:39

I agree with VQ, think people doing charitable works should not be so gung ho. We are entitled to donate where we want and our wishes should be respected..

Hopehope Sun 07-May-17 16:19:05

Kittylester. I did think of doing that, but to be honest I don't think it will make any difference, they seem to have these packers there often, all for a different Charity. I know what Jane 10, and Rosesarered mean. I have often seen them collecting for that kind of thing, a Ski Trip or some other holiday under the guise of a different name. I would never contribute to those.

I feel quite sorry for the kids, especially the little ones, as they were today, it was that Bloody Woman who should have known better. I would have been mad at the squashed Custards though, I may even have marched back to the shop with those grin

ninathenana Sun 07-May-17 16:33:28

Totally agree with the OP
I hope everyone knows that you can report "tin rattlers" they have to stand and hope. It's now against the rules to hassle you in this way.

KatyK Sun 07-May-17 16:45:59

I would rather pack my own bags but if they offer to do it for charity, I usually say 'no thank you' and just chuck 50p into the bucket.

Granof11 Sun 07-May-17 16:48:43

Whether or not I wish to donate, I prefer to pack my own trolley, heavy stuff on the bottom etc and say so loudly, repeating it coldly if I'm being ignored to begin with. Works every time.

Hopehope Sun 07-May-17 16:48:45

I am smiling here Ninathenana. I didn't realise this was against the rules, and could be reported. I am smiling because I can see myself getting more and more into the Victor Meldrew mode, and ending up even more grumpy than I feel right now grin

I used to be quite nice, these days I do feel like a mixture of
poor old VM, and Mary whitehouse. I need to get a life !

allatsea Sun 07-May-17 20:30:33

I always so 'No' to the children packers and end up feeling a miserable mean old bat. I do so for 2 reasons -
a. I prefer to manage my own packing so it arrives home intact and
b. these things are usually to fund a ski trip or holiday of some sort, which I do not perceive to be a charity.
My OH will happily accept and pay and thinks I am just being mean!!
Hey ho ..

Deedaa Sun 07-May-17 20:35:03

I recently spent about 10 minutes talking to a nice lady collecting for the Blue Cross. She explained that she was out collecting because they don't have a big advertising budget and they have had a massive influx of unwanted animals since Christmas. We were at a garden centre patronised by the (very) well off of Surrey and I noticed they were all giving her a very wide birth.I donated because she wasn't being a bit pushy.

aggie Sun 07-May-17 20:55:48

My Sister is a tin rattler , I have to listen to how draughty the doorway is , how mean/generous people are , how she loves helping ...... yawwwn . She has a gimlet eye and it is very hard to get past her , then she moans about how heavy her bucket/collecting tin is . I avoid her on her collecting days blush

Eloethan Sun 07-May-17 23:28:05

I agree with you - she had no right to ignore what you were saying. By antagonising you, she lost the charity a donation so the whole approach was counter-productive anyway.

I try to donate to people with collecting tins but I don't like it if they ask directly. And - much as I sympathise with the young "chuggers" - I really get fed up with being asked to give monthly amounts to all sorts of charities. Apart from anything else, the first year's money goes to pay the company training and employing the "chuggers" and not to the charity.

kittylester Mon 08-May-17 07:29:41

When DD2 was in retail management she insisted that any packers had some 'tuition' before they started.

Mapleleaf Mon 08-May-17 07:48:29

No, I don't think you were being unreasonable. You tried to explain your reason and was ignored. I'd be annoyed about that, too!