Kids having kids & unproteced sex

gillybob there but for the grace of (something!) go many of us!

Ignorance is not bliss! I am forever grateful to the teacher at my secondary school who, in the Lower 6th (as it was then) devised her own sex ed programme. Whilst I knew the 'facts of life' she brought those facts to life by talking about passion/lust/pleasure and telling us the details and info we needed to keep ourselves safe from STD and unwanted pregnancy but still have fun! Needless to say she was not English!

gillybob thank you for your post. (My mother was very similar - when I went to visit my gran aged 13, my other put some sanitary towels in my case and said "I expect you know what these are, Grandma doesn't need them anymore - that was my sex ed!)

We differ radically in political views but it is great to go on forums where you see different sides to people.

gillybob, how did you manage to get yourself pregnant?

(sorry to be facetious!)

Exactly Penstemmon.

I remember getting a packet of sanitary towels left on my bed without any explanation whatsoever angelab My friend had an older sister who gave me the basics of what to expect.

My DS's father sperm donor (my son's words) was my first boyfriend. I was embarrassingly naive and had sex with him as he threatened to finish with me if I didn't. I really didn't have a clue. I couldn't have gone on the pill anyway as our "family doctor" (who always smelled of booze) was very old fashioned and, rightly or wrongly, he would have told my parents. In fact even standing in the queue outside his home surgery would have attracted attention from some old busy body who would have made sure my mum knew I was there.

In hindsight... I don't know why I didn't try and talk to my grandma. She was far more "with it" than my mum (her own daughter) and would have no doubt been helpful and sympathetic.

By sheer ignorance Ana (I know what you mean though).

I agree, gilly, I'm sure my grandma would have been a lot more helpful than my mother.

norose4 you did say
Whilst it is true that who a woman sleeps with is her own business. It should also be her business to attempt not to have an unwanted pregnancy. Speaking as one who has seen the aftermath of children born unplanned ,I can assure you it has emotional, mental , & finacial repercussions for years & generations to come .
And forgive me if I find that judgemental about people. If you don't want someone to come back with challenges don't post as if you are the only person with knowledge, or who cares
gillybob my mum gave Marie Stopes' "Married Love" to my brother to read when he was about 12, so I pinched it and read it as well. I was 9. Not sure I understood a word of it at the time but I suppose it must have been in the back of my mind somewhere and it was certainly a lot more than most girls got then.

I had sex ed at boarding school aged 11/12. We were handed out packs of Dr Whites and a sanitary belt. Matron explained about menstruation and about the male member entering the female to plant the seed! It was all horribly cold and factual. But at least I knew mechanics and about periods! This was 1962/3. my friend Caroline burst into tears and declared that her parents would not do that!

My father (a GP) said 'do I need to tell you about the facts of life?'
I replied ' no I've read the obs and gynae textbooks you left in the toilet library!'
No more was said!

trisher, Shops must have had a lot of orders for "Married Love". Mum gave us each a copy.

I had sex ed at boarding school aged 11/12

The first time I read this I didn't catch the "ed" and was thinking blimey.... that's VERY young.

gilly

So we should just accept a large number of women producing children they cant feed, clothe or shelter ? By just accepting they are pregnant and moving on from that is shutting the stable door way too late. There is more than enough education available these days and after all the girls know exactly how to get pregnant so the must have some knowledge. A fair few of them also know the benefit system inside out.
I have worked with the surestart programme enough to understand these women (having heard the very words come out of their mouths) use it as somewhere to "dump the kids". Any type of intervention will only change the childs life IF you manage to change the parent.

I was quite young gillybob but not that young!!

Oh dear norose4. You obviously took the claim that this forum is non-judgemental and any subject could be raised at its face value. Whilst this is indeed true in the main, you will discover soon enough that there are exceptions and you will find some people are more than ready to find any excuse to pick others to pieces.

The Jeremy Kyle show is not hard provable evidence norose4 and I don't think we can blame feminism for the over sexualised demands on today's young men and women.

Teenage pregnancies are at an all time low in the UK. Dont believe all you read or see on programmes like Jeremy Kyle.

Your post makes me feel really sad * grannypiper* I was one of those women who got herself pregnant. I worked full time to feed and clothe my son with no help from anyone at all (certainly not the father) . Yes I did get an upstairs flat in a grotty area but God did I work hard to pay the rent. My poor baby boy was in nursery from just after 7am Monday to Friday (which I will regret for the rest of my life) . I don't begrudge today's young single mothers a penny. It's not easy you know. It's lonely, it's sad and it's very frightening. I had no friends.

My own children are the only legitimate ones in the family for some time. Both I and my sister were adopted having been born 'on the wrong side of the blanket', as was my adoptive mother. My sister finds it highly amusing that her birth mother traded her in for a horse, at the suggestion of her shocked father. My mother was apparently in servvice and taken advantage of by her employer.

OP when a post has in its first sentence a factual and statistical inaccuracy I can see little point in joining in the discussion. Several posters have pointed out that teen pregnancy numbers are falling, not increasing. When posting it is a good idea to check facts before thinking of starting a debate.

gilly i dont tar all single Mums with the same brush so to speak. Some Mothers like yourself work bloody hard and want the world for their child but there are also some who want a bay for the flat and money that comes with them. I know many will say that is never the case but it is true, the mother of my step children will happily tell you that she only had her first child ( before she met my husband) to get a flat, have money and not have to go to work. She is so proud of the fact.
Gilly i wish every mother was like you.

Oh, * gillybob,* My poor baby boy was in nursery from just after 7am Monday to Friday (which I will regret for the rest of my life).

No regrets, look how well he turned out and look to your precious GC his children, good mum you.

Fate is a funny thing isn't it Norah it was a horrible time back then but here I am now with my "baby boy" 37 years old and a father to my three gorgeously wonderful grandchildren.

I am finally married to the love of my life who is a loving grandad to the little ones. With all the horrible things going on in the world around us, I know I am very very lucky.

A funny memory just popped into my head that I would like to share. I asked my son a few weeks ago what were his memories of being little.

He said he remembered some horrible blue shoes (they cost a fortune and I was so proud of them grrrrrr) and he said his best times were when it was raining we used to go out holding hands and find the biggest puddles to splash in and get chips in paper walking home.

Lovely memories gillybob.

I've noticed in this thread there are very few mentions of the fathers of the children born to these girls. One of the things I told my own DSs was that no matter how difficult it might be if they made a baby with someone it was their responsibility to ensure they kept contact and behaved as a dad should. Perhaps we should have more education along that line for boys. Don't take the risk of being a father if you aren't willing to see it through.
Germaine Greer (ever one for extremes) once said that the whole problem could be solved if men had vasectomies before they became sexually active, before the operation they would be entitled to deposit sperm with a sperm bank so that they could have children when the situation was right.
Not something I think would work and anyway unplanned children sometimes turn out to be exceptional people.