.. to feel uncomfortable bout this book loan ..

Is it in fact a good book/read? Would you recommend it in general?
If it's worth reading then I would pass it on to her if this is what you generally do. Perhaps with the lighthearted comment about it's steaminess, above.
not that I want to know the title, oh no

devongirl, I fully understand your dilemma.

I'd feel a bit uncomfortable too passing on a book to my daughter if it had steamy sex scenes in it! What would she think of her mother!

I'd much rather she found such book herself. I don't consider myself a prude but if I stop to think that my mother and father had an active sex life I feel slightly squeamish!

My problem, I know.

Has the book been lent yet? I'd not actively offer it as a good read, but leave it in a pile of books so that your granddaughter can borrow it if she wants to. Makes it not so personal?

If I have read this correctly, your husband freely passed the book to you first. Don't you think if there had been anything odd about him lending it to your DGD, he would have concealed it from you? 66 is not that old, he would have been a teenager in the 60s - isn't that when sex was supposed to come out of the closet?!!! Perhaps you could say to to him 'are you going to tell her it's a bit racy?'

I'm sorry devongirl I still don't understand...to me it is two adults swapping books. But I understand that you see it differently to me and respect that

devongirl, I understand where you are coming from, it's not the book, it's who has given it to your dd.
I think your female antenna is working, your'e not sure what you are picking up, but it is making you uncomfortable.

I must be less broadminded than the rest of you! I always feel awkward in passing on books to my daughter with sexual scenes in and when my mum used to pass books onto me with sexual scenes in I used to think "oh my mum has read this!" I'm afraid I don't think it appropriate for a 66 year old man to pass this book on to a 24 year old, however much they might not mind reading sexual books normally.

I tought the OP had already emailed her partner about the matter, and he was not best pleased. Could you clarify please, devongirl?

What did you want clarification of, Ana?

Thanks for your post LesleyC, I'm glad you are of a like mind!

Whether you have told him or not, as other posters are giving you advice on how to do so.

Well yes, she is 24 and I assume she's read this sort of thing before. Your OH may have forgotten about the sexy bits that made you feel uncomfortable.
I frequently swap books with my BIL - some of them have sexual passages in them, some don't - as we're both grown up I assume it doesn't matter much. I wouldn't worry about it too much if I were you. Sex is a part of life, isn't it? If it was out-and-out pornography it would be a completely different matter.

Ana, yes, I emailed him. He wasn't pleased - hardly surprising as several posters have said. Just emailed back with a more conciliatory tone saying I didn't think he meant anything by it (I don't) but it made me feel uncomfortable.

What's the title of the book please ?

I think what you must take into account was that he was being totally open with you indeed passing it to you to read as you were out of a book He wasn't trying to hide anything and surreptitiously pass her sordid stuff. I bet it never entered his head that anyone could be uncomfortable with it and I do think he will feel very hurt and frankly a bit dirty that you judged it that way, although you have been very honest and said you think it may be your head 'stuff' maybe you will need to clarify that with him because at the moment all he has had is your disapproving email which has probably left him feeling horrible
I would feel like you if it was a 14 year old but not a fully grown woman who has probably heard and seen and read much worse than a beautiful but sexually explicit novel

Dorsetpennet is on her way to the library now ?

For anyone who is curious, the book is 'Mothering Sunday' by Graham Swift. It is a beuatiful little book, anyone who reads it will no doubt be reinforced in their opinion that I am overreacting

Day6 I had to laugh at your bit about your mum and dad when I was divorced on my own feeling shxx my mum told me how good her sex life was bless her she would then be in her late 60 s early 70 s and not the best time to mention it to me I thought it was great why be embarrassed it natural we wouldn't be around if our mums and dads hadn't made whooppee

Mothering Sunday experiences a sudden surge in sales! Are you sure you're not Graham Swifts agent?

The most puzzling thing to me about all of this is that you can't talk to OH about it. You are sending emails - what's in the emails that you can't say to each other, having known each other for so long?

I only see him on Saturdays (he lives in Kent) - there hasn't been an intervening Saturday!

DD has every right to read this book offered by OH.
To ease your mind, and it sounds you have concerns,? why not have a chat with DD and mention his intentions but that you found it steamy in parts.

I don't expect your OH is hell-bent on lending the book.
If he understands that it's a not-entirely-logical reluctance on your part and nothing to do with his motives for lending, he'll probably not mind forgetting the whole idea.

Bluebelle, that was nice of your Mum (not)! I can't imagine my Mum ever doing that.

I suspect an eng lit graduate would have already yawned her way through Ulysses and wondered at the contemporary fuss, ditto Lady C .people used to be shocked at the dullest of novels. I sometimes wonder what there is left to shock. I haven't heard of this author at all. I actually thought it was the Simon Sebag montefiore book on the Romanovs as DH is currently reading this a chapter a night as his hair what little is left is standing on end over their predilection for shenanigans with dwarves. I am sympathetic towards op as we like to believe against all the odds in the innocence of our young.

Far north my mum meant no harm bless her she wasn't always diplomatic or thought before she spoke but she was a lovely lady xx
Devongirl I think it might be you ( said without being nasty) I just read pages and pages of reviews and barely a mention of sex in fact only two reviews that I saw mention that there was even any sexual parts in it A lot of people seemed to love it and it had some fantastic reviews whilst some said it was too short and boring but no one seemed to have mentioned anything about the dreaded SEX

Im curious about the title of the book, is it comparable to fifty shades of grey (my 22 year old DD has banned me from reading that!...because of course all us mums know nothing about the bedroom goings on..lol)

sorry just seen your earlier post where you have named the book. Off to google