To think my daughter shouldn't do this?

Seriously?!
She has put her CHILDREN first and now that she has 'finished' parenting them she is free to begin living her life.
If some wimpy 22 year old special snowflake doesn't like it then he can grow up and stand on his own two feet and have his own house where he pays his own bills and he can decide who lives there.

Until then I'd hand him a grip and tell him to stop being such a petulant brat and start being civil.

Change is difficult, I know, but your heart is in the right place if you want your daughter to be happy. Change can be for the better as well as the worse. Try not to be angry with her for wanting something so normal as a proper partnership.
If you show you are supporting her, your grandson is more likely to come round to the idea.
Remember he is 22 not 16.

My daughter doesn't want son to move out, it would be his choice to do so. I think she will be upset if he feels he has to leave.

DGS does have a girlfriend and my daughter is happy that she stays over with him. I wish I could understand why he has this reaction to his mother having another relationship.

Older children usually come round. If your grandson is angry and feeling rejected by his father, that may in part explain his anger towards his mother. I doesn't excuse or make it acceptable though. He's 22, not a child an old enough to live independently and still have a good relationship with his mum who has stood by him. It sounds as though the only objection is that mum has a long term partner who is going to move in, rather than mum has met a dodgy chap a week ago and he's moving in.

NannyOne The boy is 22 he will be gone soon, can't your daughter wait.

IMHO in these instances the children/Young Adult's in their own home, should come first, having her boyfriend move in would mean her son would have to move out, that can not be right.

The fact that he does not like him and has had to put up with him for the past four years is enough.

I appreciate it must have gotten lonely for your daughter and she deserves a massive pat on the back for doing so well but her sons needs should come first.

Why does he need to move in right now, I am sure they can wait.

I am positive not a lot of people will agree with me but it is my opinion

It's difficult I suppose because we've supported D and GCs so much and we are all very close. I don't want anything to change that causes unhappiness. I do want my daughter to be happy though.

You would probably be starting to see less of your grandson anyway, now that he is an adult and hopefully will soon have a relationship of his own. You never know, pushing him out of the nest now, might lead to you having great grandchildren in the not too distant future, instead of him being an eternal bachelor living with his mum.

his father being awful to him doesn't seem a reason for him to deny his mothers happiness. Maybe a bit of family counselling?

I understand where the grandson is coming from,he must be worried about his future.How many times have we heard about women moving in boyfriends and ending up losing their home when they split.The boy is concerned his mum is being conned.She needs to show him that wont happen by securing her finances so her new man cant just take over everything she has

I have to come clean here and say that I have been in a similar position to your daughter. My children were around the same age as hers when my husband died. After a while I met a very nice man and we saw each other at weekends for some years. His big concern at first was "What are your children going to think?" The reply that I didn't even have to think about was "They'll be happy that I'm happy." And of course they were. That's what being a family is about. Not one member trying to dictate the terms for family unity. Sorry, your grandson sounds like a sulky child at best and a bully at worst. I wish your daughter every happiness in HER life.

I suppose I'm worried I'll see less of my GS if he feels he has to move out.
I feel he suffered the most during his parent's split. His father was awful to him and he has only seen him a handful of times since.

I hope your D doesn't get brow beaten into doing something that won't make her happy just to make you and your GS happy, where's the sense in that.

Not your business nanny one why should you dictate how her relationship should work Goodness me

Your grandsons an adult and should be thinking of having his own life by now, not living his mothers life for her
She's hardly been promiscuous one partner for five years
Much to much interfering going on by both you and him

If he's not spoken to the boyfriend for five years his poor mum must have been torn all this time Good for her for making a decision I hope they have a happy life together sounds like she deserves it

Well, yes you are being unreasonable. Are you worried that you won't see as much of your daughter if her partner moves in with her?
You say yourself he is a nice man, so it's not him you are worried about. Your grandson should not be bullying your daughter in this way. She is entitled to live a full life, she is not a teenager to just go on dates at the weekend.
Could you encourage your grandson to grow up a little

I think at 22, your GS has no business interfering in his mother's life, when she isn't doing anything outrageous.

She's spent years raising her family single-handedly and now it's time she did something for herself.

Your D is entitled to a life.
Your GS is being unreasonable. Is he prepared to stay at home forever, of course he isn't.
You are being unfair and very unkind to your daughter..
You should be supporting her.

Her eldest DS has just come back to live at home following three years at university.

I suppose I think that as a mother she should put her children first and her decisions shouldn't cause them upset or make them leave home.
I don't see why she has to make this change and why she can't just continue with her partner as things are.

I am afraid YABU Nannyone! How old is your daughter? Don't you feel she can make her own decisions and that both her adult son and you should let her do just that?
Of course if you have serious reservations about the man in question, that is another matter, but speaking personally, by the time I was 22 I was getting married myself.
Time no. 1 son moved out I think.

But you don't mind if your daughter is upset?

My daughter wouldn't sell her home as she views it as her security (she's worked hard to pay for it) and she says it will be less disruptive for the children if they stay living where they are. I don't think any of them would want to move. The partner would contribute to bills and food if he moves in so she'd be better off financially.

I suppose I just think that she should continue as they are, meeting at weekends also that no one is upset.
I don't want any of my grandchildren to be upset.

I can never fathom why women let men move in with them - if the guy is so interested why doesn't he provide the home?

Of course, all things being equal, they would move into a mutually-financed home.

The son could well be looking after his mother's interests.

I would ask your GS does he intend to remain single and live with his mother for the rest of her life. When my DD and her husband divorced the children were happy enough when their parents eventually found a new partner as they did not want either parent to remain living alone especially when they became old enough to have their own partners and homes.