to treat 1 grandchild differently because she treats me different?

Or take her and her 21 year old sister out for a meal and give them both money or tokens in cards at the same time! Instant thanks!
Are you not able to go and see the family by the way?

No, no more money!!?

Its the youth of today as they say. Don't take it personally. I bet she is grateful. Not all of your grandchildren can react in the same way...there's always one! Give her a break.

Anya I look after GC a lot too,one I have half of every week and sometimes the other three for a week at a time.If they are here with me on their own then yes I'll tell them off if needed ...its rare,but if their parents are there I would never chastise them ..its the parents job not mine

Times have changed since we had to sit and write thank you letters, which I used to dread.
You would think that having phones glued to their faces that our younger relatives would be able to spare a minute or two to say thank you, but it seems not.

Greenwood I would wait for a time when you do see her (engineer one - invite her for a meal out, saying that you haven't seen for ages and it would be lovely to catch up??) and then speak to her about how you would appreciate hearing that she has received the gift and what she bought with it as part of saying thank you! If that isn't feasible I would contact her ...text maybe? ...ask her if she received the gift and what she plans to use it for? I wouldn't treat her differently in terms of gifts but I also wouldn't not say anything. Frankly her dad saying thank you is pathetic ..he needs to tell her not to be so rude and also tell her that if she carries on that way her Nanny is likely to not bother in future. He needs to make HER take responsibility!

Treat them all the same, you are giving for the happiness of giving. Also, not a GPs place to tell off or tell DGC what to do.

She is an adult 18yrs old no excuse not to say thanks !

It's the individual I really do think. I know two sisters, the daughters of a dear friend, and one has never thanked me for anything that she has been given or sent for Christmas or birthdays. The other always writes a 'thank you' note. Their mother is a polite person and always offers her thanks for gifts; why her daughter just doesn't bother is a mystery! I carry on buying for her because she is the daughter of a friend, and I would feel rather bad about giving to her sister and not to her. Also I do consider that I buy her a gift not to be thanked but to make her happy, so I hope it does! Sadly I will never know if that is the case.

Paddyann surely it is "My house, my rules"?
I don't like anyone eating on my sofa, in my sitting room. We certainly don't. Aren't I allowed to say so when the GCs visit?

That's certainly the case in my house! Anyone who needs a telling off, gets one!

Sitting on the sofa with a biscuit is something a GP can talk nicely to a DGC about, but talking to how they are being raised is not GPs affair.

Quite right Missadventure I reprimand my grandchildren if its required and my adult children sometimes. Of course that means I have to accept a reprimand too ☺

I have stopped sending gifts to my niece and nephew and their children because I never once had a thank you. Done the same with a cousin and her family but continued with her sister because always get a lovely and prompt thank you. My children were brought up to think that if anyone is kind enough to think of you, you should acknowledge their thoughtfulness and this has been passed on to my grandchildren.

How I agree Hattiehelga
But if the offender is a GC, what do you do?

Manners make the the man..... AND the woman. At 18 ' thank you' should come as naturally as breathing. This young woman needs telling. AND her father needs to be the one to tell her.

My two daughters and DGs have written thank you letters ever since they could write. DH and I send thank you letters and our cousins do too. I send thank you letters if I'm invited out for a meal or for a treat by someone or - and (most of) my friends write and thank me for meals here or treats I take them on. If someone takes the trouble to do something for you it's only right to thank them in writing. Manners maketh the man.

Why oh why do we pussyfoot around this pampered generation. We Grans are actually making excuses for our adult Grandchildren who have everything except the manners to say thank you !!

well Ladies I've just been on Mumsnet where the general concensus is that any Grandparent telling off GC or interfering in how they are raised should be firmly told no way and shown the door ...seems you are all a bit out of touch with the 21st century.It is NOT in the remit of any grandparent to tell off a GC if the parents are there OR to tell off an adult child ..that is plainly ridiculous.Would you have been happy if YOUR parent told you off when you were a grown woman and mother of your own family.....I certainly wouldn't .

Just a thought. Don't give her a present or money, perhaps be interesting to see what response that brings. I m not bein horrible, it's just reading your post has made me realise how you, me & others of a certain generation are actually accepting & pussyfooting around behaviour that would never have been tolerated by our parents .I wonder why we have become so tolerant of what is in actual fact bad behaviour !!

Well if Mumsnet says this it must be gospel then. I resent the implication I am out of touch and my remit as a grandparent is entirely between me and my family.

Well said Christinefrance!

I don't think it's at all unreasonable to expect the courtesy of a thank you for a gift. If I had the courage - and I'm not sure I would have - I would point out that it is usual to say thank you.

If you gave a friend a present and they didn't acknowledge it, surely you would feel a bit put out? Why should it be any different with a grandchild or other younger relative, or indeed any relative?

Why are some grandparents so willing to make excuses for a lack of kindness and basic good manners? I think it's unfair to be critical of the poster's unhappiness about this. She wasn't expecting the earth, just a "thank you"?

Why not chat with her. And say well done. But add that it's important the next time someone rewards you or gives a gift, it's important to say thanks. She's probably just a bit immature.

I don't believe impolite behaviour has never been tolerated by some members of previous generations. Nor do I believe the current young generation is more or less polite than previous ones. If politeness could be tested I'm willing to bet a scientifically tested sample of people would cover the usual range of the normal curve.