What's wrong with bidets?

I recently used a shower (in a friend's house) where you could set the spray of water to either come from the top (as usual), or at sort of chest height (when you don't want wet hair) or aimed at your wotsit only if that's what was required. Very luxurious!

At home when I want to clean my undercarriage, I stand in the bath and use the hosed hand shower attachment.

I find bidets are a nuisance to use...can't imagine needing one.

I don't think most newer houses have the space. Our house is 1950s, we certainly couldn't fit one.
Having said that even 5* hotels don't seem to have them, at least not ones I've stayed in in UK.

We have a bidet in the bathroom. I think my husband uses it, but if I need a quick rinse "down there", I strip off and go in the shower. I find it very awkward to get at everything whilst sitting in an uncomfortable position on a cold ceramic rim and end up making a mess all over the place.

We had hoped to put in a urinal in the place where the bidet actually is, which would have been more useful, being a household with 4 men (at the time) but the sloping roof would have made it difficult to stand up.

My son and his wife bought a house with a bidet in the bathroom. They hated it. Said it was "very 80s". they had it taken out. I think they're great. Would love one if bathroom were bigger.

My GC regard ours as their own private facility. They use it to wash their hands after going to the loo - oh and to float boats in and play with bubbles!

I find the design of bidets a bit weird for their original purpose but it does get used for this too!

We had a bidet in our last house and I do miss it. Apparently combined toilet/bidet WCs are becoming more popular now. (Of course leaving your smalls in there overnight or washing your feet, could be a bit of a problem)

I am not averse to bidets but I have never owned a house with a bathroom large enough to house a bidet.

I can't agree more! We have had a bidet for years. We have no plans to move house but if we did the new bathroom would have to be big enough to have a bidet installed.

I've never used a bidet but I'm sure they are as great as you say. You could simply buy one and have it installed?
None of us will think you are a snob, I promise. Just sensible and doing what you want.
I use wet wipes quite a lot for all sorts of things, but never put them down the loo.
They go in with the black bin bags recycle stuff.