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Aggressive new neighbour

(34 Posts)
Marieeliz Tue 17-Oct-17 17:25:53

I have another new neighbour, moved in 6 weeks ago. Second since my old neighbour took poorly. We are nice and quiet and good neighbours here. She has been aggressive with me from the word go. Loud parties till 2 pm. Fortunately, one of the neighbours has CCTV I was assulted by one of her relations and had to call the police. Since then she has got worse. Another loud party last Saturday woke up nearly everyone.

Came in today and found a plant pot of mine thrown in the street with a winter Chrysanthimum. When I thought it was the wind and put it back, she came out and said what are you doing with that? You are putting it on my land.

It is actually mine, she then asked where her Barrell was, the Barrell was mine it had pansies in and I had swapped it with the Chrysanthiumum. The area is a drain and I had put wrought iron around it, I really should have put it the other way around but the original tenant was 90 and had a large bin so I was helping her by not putting the fencing in the correct place.

I have now phoned the wrought iron people to come out and put it the right way around which will include the bin in my property where it should be. I have also spoken to the Housing Trust and Safer Communities. This person is a professional in NHS and not young but a mature person. I am nearly 80 what a way to treat an older person when you are in a supposed "caring" position

I am an owner occupier and there are very few Trust houses left in this area. Thought I was getting a nice settled mature person but obviously not

Marieeliz Tue 17-Oct-17 17:27:38

Sorry, should be the grid in my property not bin.

Bluegal Tue 17-Oct-17 18:22:47

Its always sad when neighbours can't get on I think.

When new neighbours arrive it often irks when they don't 'behave' in a way previous neighbours did (my 88 yr old mother is experiencing this as I write!). In my mum's case she has been used to living with elderly neighbours in a small close and now young ones have moved in. They immediately set to digging up front garden for their vehicles (which is what is common practice). The rest didn't like it but I said....well its their choice. They had a moving in party and mum didn't like the noise so I advised her to grin and bear it and hope that it was a one off or at least an infrequent occurrence.

I am just wondering if you got off on the wrong foot possibly? Depends if you feel you can offer an olive branch or if they are totally unreasonable, put up the dividing fence and learn to ignore?

If they are being totally anti social with loud music then am sure there are rules around it? Don't the housing associations issue warnings? Personally I would wait to see what happens before reporting them though. But as for physical assaults - never acceptable! How did it come about and is it being taken further? Why were you assaulted and where were you at the time?

Good luck and I hope it settles soon as its not nice feeling unhappy where you live.

M0nica Tue 17-Oct-17 18:47:41

Marieeliz, you have my sympathy. DD lives in an ex-council house where one neighbour left and the new one was housed by social services who do their best, but DD has, at times, had to sleep in her spare room because her bedroom reeked of next doors cigarette smoke because the neighbour had not laid any carpet. In this case the Housing Association would do nothing about it and in the end DD had to take up part of her bedroom floor to spray foam along the gap where the joists that bridged both properties came through the party wall.

There have since been problems with large fierce dogs in a cage, where her fence was used as one side of the cage.
Then there is the back and front gardens used as rubbish dumps. When DD complains both the HA (usually) and SS are quick to visit and get the occupant to sort the problem, but it is very wearing for DD

Marieeliz Tue 17-Oct-17 23:08:25

Bluegal I put a welcome to your new home card through the door as soon as she moved in. She was off work for the first 5 weeks supposedly with a bad back. Looked OK when she was moving in! She never looked at you when passing "blanked you from the first of.

The assault occurred when I knocked at 1.45 in the morning and asked if they could keep the noise down. Her brother in law grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me towards him. I went back in and then his wife started banging at my door, by the discussion outside it was to have a go at me.

Neighbour has it all on CCTV. When the police came they asked if I wanted to take it further but, as there were fourteen of them and only me I said no. The neighbours a few doors down with CCTV have said they will witness what has gone on when Housing come out. Problem is rear access is shared, although I own it, it is a flying freehold and the Housing never explain this to tenants. In fact sometime I have to explain this to housing.

I was quite content to leave things lie until I found the Planter thrown in the street. Anyone normal who thought it was on their property would have asked why it was there not just thrown it in the street. Then I could have explained.

They seem, she has a large family in the area, to be coming late on a Saturday, after the Pub just to make a loud noise in the early hours to make a point.

Just worry that she is a Senior Nurse in a local hospital.

maryeliza54 Tue 17-Oct-17 23:22:49

If she is a nurse, this is a regulated profession and personal behaviour outside of the professional setting is taken into account in deciding if a nurse is ‘ fit to practice’. You could write to her employers listing the problems and especially the police involvement.

Eloethan Wed 18-Oct-17 02:10:25

She sounds like a nasty piece of work - very worrying that she is a senior nurse.

I don't think it's a good idea to write to her employers without there having been a prosecution for anti-social behaviour or some sort of documentation obtained to establish that she has been warned or cautioned by the police. She could accuse you of defamation of character.

I hope someone is able to help you sort this out. It's shocking that, especially at the age of 80, you should have to put up with this.

Serkeen Wed 18-Oct-17 03:12:32

I agree Eloe my advice would be to attempt to make peace as this is the only way forward

oh and nice to see that I am not the only nutter awake at this hour, I fell asleep on the sofa and then when I woke up was not tired smile

albertina Wed 18-Oct-17 09:49:35

I am not sure that it is safe to have any contact with this neighbour as she sounds too aggressive ( along with her friends/relatives) If you are not the only one affected by this what about getting together with other neighbours and contacting the police or the council ?

I speak as someone with an aggressive new neighbour, so I understand the fear.

theresacoo Wed 18-Oct-17 09:59:53

Write to her employer

radicalnan Wed 18-Oct-17 10:14:09

I am sorry to hear you are having to put up with this, people now have no manners or consideration for their neighbours.

I am afraid working for the NHS is no indicator of anything.

Is she in social housing? You seem to own yours from what you say. If she is in social housing there is some hope that her landlords might take action, if that is the case then please keep detailed log of incidents.

I am hoping for your sake, that some other neighbours might take robust action, via the council or the police and leave you out of it as there has already been an assault.

The police will always take the course of least resistance so unless you insist they won't do anything and even if taken to court and found guilty, she wouldn't get much, a fine perhaps if that.

Remove any of your stuff out of harm's way and try not to get involved with her if possible, let younger, fitter neighbours complain about her anti social behaviour.

Caramac Wed 18-Oct-17 10:32:02

I think Nursing and Midwifery Council would be worth reporting her to. I would normally say negotiating as a first avenue but it sounds like you wouldn't get a good outcome. Activities which bring the nursing profession into disrepute are taken seriously by the NMC. A midwife I trained with was almost thrown out of training over one silly jokey email to a lecturer. I hope things can be resolved quickly and I'm sorry to hear of this very difficult situation you're in. flowers

Margs Wed 18-Oct-17 11:14:33

This appalling neighbour is a NURSE?

Gawd - she sounds like a candidate for the Jeremy Kyle show......

MissAdventure Wed 18-Oct-17 11:16:56

I would steer clear and stay out of the way for a while, and hope that things die down enough that you can coexist peacefully. No sense in getting involved in a feud, because you'll not win.

Marieeliz Wed 18-Oct-17 11:27:25

She hasn't gone into work today? I am waiting for Housing Trust to contact and the Neighbourhood cohesion team. I will wait until tomorrow as they have my contact.

Another neighbour has agreed to be witness he is the one with CCTV. I was hoping for the Foundry people to come this morning to give me a price for the fence being re jigged.

My neighbour on the other side is away has been for two weeks and will not be back for another. Another house is empty. The couple on the other side of her also heard the noise and complained to me about last Saturday night.

As the neighbour who is agreeable to supporting me said "she is the bad neighbour" so don't let it upset you.

I did think about her employer, as it is the hospital I would have to go to if ill. I certainly would not like her to be looking after me. During the first incident she was actually bragging about being a nurse and having contact with police, she had the attitude this would make me shut up.

NemosMum Wed 18-Oct-17 11:27:25

I think this situation is beyond 'making peace'. You have been kept awake, assaulted by a guest in this woman's house and suffered criminal damage. Added to that, you are an older person and you have the worry of all this interfering with your mental well-being. Contact the police, the local authority and the housing trust, cc-ing your letters to your local councillor. If no satisfactory timely outcome, go and see your councillor (doesn't matter if you didn't vote for them, they still have to represent you). Failing that, the MP's office is the next port of call. I live in an area with a lot of students and have a student house of 6 on one side. Fortunately, we have a good residents' association here, and they advise taking action THE FIRST TIME you have problems, as otherwise it becomes entrenched behaviour. Good luck, and let us know how you get on.

Jaycee5 Wed 18-Oct-17 11:33:35

I can only sympathise. I was very lucky that the Police raided my neighbour's flat and smashed the door down and she has not come back since.
I think that she wants to return and that the Council are resisting but it has been lovely and quiet here for over a month now. Unless they get a court order she does have the law on her side but they have not repaired the door or windows yet and we are all watching like hawks. Apparently the Police took away a black bag of stuff so hopefully there is something there that helps them.
I do feel sorry for her because she has a right to live somewhere and it is not her fault that there is so little support available but that does not help us when we can't sleep or feel safe with the criminals she attracts.
Record everything - the time, what happened and the effect it had on you. Even small things because sometimes it can be the frequency of small unpleasantnesses that make life difficult. It gets very tedious but it is worth it. It also shows the authorities that you are serious.

Nonnie Wed 18-Oct-17 12:32:22

So sorry to hear this. No answers for you as I have never been in this situation. I can only suggest you get as much evidence as you can, times and dates etc. The police take harassment very seriously so if you can prove it they will help you.

If you decide to sell up you will have to inform the buyer so please bear that in mind. We have a silly .... living next door who did something stupid and, when he saw our for sale sign, thought he could blackmail us into doing what he wanted. Our response included a line about stopping harassing us and that was the end of it.

harrigran Wed 18-Oct-17 13:07:40

The council have just sent us forms to fill in to list anti-social behaviour in the street, covers every type of nuisance such as noise and even failure to maintain property. We have several problem residents in the street and houses aren't selling because of them.

SunnySusie Wed 18-Oct-17 13:16:38

Marieeliz my heart goes out to you. I have been there with this problem and its dreadful. Polite requests to tone down the noise got abusive responses and my neighbours then engaged in a deliberate campaign of making as much noise as possible at all hours. The police completely refused to get involved with the noise issues, documenting things didnt lead to any action. I dont know if you feel totally powerless in your own home? but that is what I felt like. In the end I had new double glazing installed, soundproofing on the wall, bought a white noise machine and earplugs and managed to sleep. Several years on, the bloke moved from being a white van man on shifts into a management job and miraculously his behaviour improved almost overnight. I heard him yelling yesterday at one of his teenagers to stop making a racket in the middle of the night!

Lynnebo Wed 18-Oct-17 13:28:05

I do feel for you. I was in this situation also but I was in social housing and they were private owners! I applied to downsize to an area where my children live and moved away.

Nonnie Wed 18-Oct-17 13:42:39

Not sure but I think noise disturbance is the council's responsibility not the police. I'm sure someone else will know.

maryeliza54 Wed 18-Oct-17 16:00:25

There is no way that a letter to the employers describing factually the behaviour of the woman could ever in a million years be used as a basis for a defamation of character action - for one thing how on earth could she afford to go to court and secondly the letter would be written in good faith.

Sugarpufffairy Wed 18-Oct-17 16:08:41

I live in a small cul de sac of 15 houses. There are 6 NHS employees, nurses and doctors not clerical or ancilliary staff and this is the most awful, unneighbourly place I have ever lived in. One household are incredibly nosey, even climbing a ladder to stare over a wall. Having cared for a family member often in hospital I found them to be quite nasty people at work too.
I am thinking of moving away. As well as wanting this and that at a new house I will also enquire if there are any NHS staff living nearby. I would not want to live near any of them ever again.
PS One lot would not move their car which was blocking a blue light ambulance!

Marieeliz Wed 18-Oct-17 16:52:48

Thank you for all your advice. She went into work at 12 today. Foundry guy came and said he could do the gate and fence tomorrow but I will ask him to come early next week as, I am sure, this will cause a blow up over the weekend. Housing Trust has not come back to me nor the Communities group but I will get in touch with them tomorrow.

I really feel I have to put this fence and gate in the correct place now as it has caused so much trouble and I knew I should have done it initially. Putting it off again is just making the problem continue.

My friend has just been and said that if the neighbour looked up at the guttering she would see where her house ended and mine started but she is a bully and will not listen.

Sorry for those of you who are suffering similar problems. I have lived in this house since 1961 and, although I would like a bungalow, don't feel I should move.

The only light in the tunnel is that she is not the owner but a Trust Tenant.