AIBU to expect my husband to be awake and talk to me?

Consider it may be a health problem. You must get him to see his GP.

Yes as someone else has said definitely get sleep apneoia (sp) checked out especially as you say he snores loudly! He may not be getting quality sleep at all.

Could be sleep apnoea, if he is so tired during the day. A check at the doctors sounds like a good idea, for your peace of mind and DH too.

I would echo the sleep apnea check ASAP , it can cause other health problems problems

Your husband may have Narcolepsy and need medical help.

www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/guide/narcolepsy#1

Is he at all overweight ? If so a better diet and a few walks might help.

My DH was just like this. Would fall asleep at the drop of a hat. Finally got him to the Docs... severe sleep apnoea diagnosed.

People with this do not sleep properly - even when, to all intents and purposes, they are asleep.

He now wears a mask for bedtime... never snores... and sleeps well. The change is dramatic.

Sleep apnoea can be dangerous. If diagnosed, the DVLA may be told... they can monitor the hours you sleep.... using info from the computer in the sleep apnoea mask.

Since my DH has had the mask, his hours of sleep have almost doubled.

Yes Sue, I've just had a months trial with the mask. I already have narcolepsy so that's why I snore. The mask wasn't for me. They put it down to my medication in the end. Life savers for those with apnea though.

This is one of the reasons in my opinion that governments are barking up the wrong tree when they want us to retire later and later.

It sounds to me as if you husband is finding his working day far too tiring. Do see if you can get him to the doctor, as there may be a problem that can be cured quite easily.

What time of the day at weekends and holidays is he awake and least tired? Try if you can have a conversation about his tiredness at the time of day he is brightest. Tell him you are worried that he is overtired, perhaps suffering from a vitamin or iron deficiency.

To me he sounds so tired that I doubt good sex will help, as he is probably just too tired.

Ask if there are problems at work, or anything else worrying him.

If you can't get him to the doctor or to discuss the problem, because he just does not see it as a problem, then I am afraid you will have to build a life for yourself up, while he is asleep, but try all the other options first.

As others have suggested, it's possible he's suffering from sleep apnoea, which needs to be investigated and possibly, treated. It is NOT normal for someone to snore so loudly that another person in the room can't hear the TV!

grandtanteJE65 I think the problem the government are dealing with when it comes to retirement age is largely that so many people don't begin their full adult working lives until 30 these days. So many are studying and gap-yearing till 25 then spend the next few years waiting to settle into a career while they experience various internships and lower paid or casual jobs - if indeed they can find work at all. They're not really paying into their pension till they're 30. When I left school apart from the small minority of people who went to university, we were all settled into our full time working lives by 20 (and seriously you could just walk into a job in those days), thus paying into the NHS and pension system for 10 more years before retirement.

RNEKelly......so true. No matter how tired most men become miraculously wakeful in that situation

Was that correct? Bedtime at 8.30pm? I realise that he has an early start but do you have to get up early too, or do you simply go to bed early because he expects you to go when he does?

I’ve been getting more and more tired and having to nap. Off to gp and turns out my blood sugar is way to high. Type 2 diabetes! Controlling it with a LCHF diet and I already feel much better 1 month in.

My DH was the same last year. Turned out his daily aspirin had stripped him of his iron. He's fine now .

I can think of at least ten medical conditions which might cause excessive tiredness.
I agree with everyone else who has suggested a visit to the GP.
If DH is pronounced fit and well, which sounds unlikely, then stick a firework under him!

Yes Gabrielle I go to bed at 8.30 too, I work part time but do not have such an early start, but I am a morning person, and 4 am starts don't bother me.We are both home at 3 pm so our time begins then.

Mine is 64 and can sleep anywhere. If he's bored he sleeps! He sleeps on planes, while I shift and turn trying to get comfortable. Maybe it's a man thing, being able to sleep.

There's a whole list of reasons why your husband may be behaving like this, mostly medical! Could be T2 diabetes among others so it's important to get him checked out as soon as possible!

I doze off sometimes if I get too comfortable in my reclining seat, normally after the wife's gone to bed! ?

another suggesting sleep apnoea. My cpap has changed my life from being permanently tired to needing 7 hours night

Think he needs GP advice and good luck to you on getting him to do that! This could be dibetes or depression or something else. My husband was the same until his blood sugar was sorted. His sleeping before a meal and then afterwards may be significant. Good look on persuading him and very best wishes to you both for 2018.

Can he stay awKe when out with friends, darts ? bowls, whist etc? Mine can so it must be the fact that after 39yrs of marriage I bore hi my to sleep the evenings that he's home!

Sorry for above typos- or 2 large gins lol!

If you do manage to get him to the Docs and all is well then why not make yourself your own room in the house with TV etc . If it is company you want then you may have to accept that you need to develop a social life without him . You only get one life , why waste it watching him sleep . I would also suggest not making him a meal while he sleeps , you are both working after all . It would drive me crazy !

Mine sleeps 9 solid hours a night ...I manage 4:6 on a good night ..and then it will be fragmented sleep. He then sleeps 3 to 5 hours during the day and evening. He will never go out especially with me...not after somebody mistook me for his daughter!! I’m only 4 years younger than his 71 but he looks 10 years older !! I swim 2 miles a week and try to walk at least 3 miles a day... and I look and feel 10 years younger.!! He is a complete misery and 2 years ago when I retired I decided that I would make my only life. Quite right...life’s much too short to watch him watching t.v or sleeping.