AIBU to expect my husband to be awake and talk to me?

My DH was just like this. Would fall asleep at the drop of a hat. Finally got him to the Docs... severe sleep apnoea diagnosed.

People with this do not sleep properly - even when, to all intents and purposes, they are asleep.

He now wears a mask for bedtime... never snores... and sleeps well. The change is dramatic.

Sleep apnoea can be dangerous. If diagnosed, the DVLA may be told... they can monitor the hours you sleep.... using info from the computer in the sleep apnoea mask.

Since my DH has had the mask, his hours of sleep have almost doubled.

Is he at all overweight ? If so a better diet and a few walks might help.

Your husband may have Narcolepsy and need medical help.

www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/guide/narcolepsy#1

I would echo the sleep apnea check ASAP , it can cause other health problems problems

Could be sleep apnoea, if he is so tired during the day. A check at the doctors sounds like a good idea, for your peace of mind and DH too.

Yes as someone else has said definitely get sleep apneoia (sp) checked out especially as you say he snores loudly! He may not be getting quality sleep at all.

Consider it may be a health problem. You must get him to see his GP.

He needs a Medical check up first.
He may have Sleep Apnea (easily treated)
When he is cleared medically, then you should have a conversation with him about your feelings...do not make this about him, but rather how the situation makes “you” feel....ask for his help, most men want to ‘rescue’ their woman.
Also a woman can easily get a man’s attention with some good sex. Works for me all the time.

I agree with those who think this might be a medical issue. I feel sorry for you - and for him because he's sleeping his life away.

Whilst your DH obviously needs a GP check, it could be that simply a full time job is exhausting him. I was always utterly exhausted for several years before I retired. I thought getting older meant feeling ill. As soon as I retired I felt fine and my energy returned.

I used to nod off standing up. Turned out I had Narcolepsy. This followed with Cataplexy and sleep paralysis. Scary stuff ladies .

I'm afraid I'm a bit of a nodder offer. Most times I could sleep on a line. I know none sleepers envy me but tbh it can be as much of a curse as insomnia. No matter how much sleep I get I'm still tired. You may nap for 15 to 30 minutes. If I nap during the day then I'm out of it for 2, 3 or even more hours. Sometimes when it becomes too much my body switches off and I sleep for anywhere up to 3 days. DH has to wake me to drink but I don't eat. I've been checked by my GP and I'm OK but for some reason I need more sleep than most. Perhaps your DH is the same but it's important he gets checked out first.

paperbackbutterfly I think you've just got into a 'comfortable' routine. Why don't you NOT prepare tea when you get home?Perhaps if he has NO tea...he will not fall asleep? ha ha ha.... Tell him you are going OUT and he has to prepare his own....just a thought.....

sounds like a health issue to me too,get him to a GP

My DH, 70, has started dropping off quite frequently late afternoon and evening. Mostly he denies he is asleep but the snoring proves otherwise. If I suggest he should go to bed he still insists on having his Horlick and crackers and wakes himself up !

He could have an under active thyroid like me. I find it hard to keep awake after 9.30pm and will have had a sleep in the afternoon. I envy people with energy.

I agree with those who suggest you you do your own thing and leave him to it.

Really interesting programme on radio 4 about sleep yesterday. Sounds like your husband might have a problem going on the programme! Might be worth listening to it on catch.

I agree with the GP, but strongly advise getting a TV in another room so you can watch without the snoring!

Mine too, sleeps at the drop of a hat. Currently asleep. Again. We are home alone and my company is r4. I am so envious, not only am i unable to nap during the day, i also dont sleep at night.

Sounds very annoying ! Must admit I wouldn't be happy either.My husband is 64 works full time in a manual job, with a 4 am start, has a short nap sometimes when he gets home, but then we both stay awake until bedtime at 8.30 pm.I would persuade him to have a check up.

My DH has the superpower to fall asleep anywhere anytime he is warm and comfy, frankly I envy him! it’s not the getting older, he has always done it.Doesn’t bother me at all though, I have plenty of things to do.

I'm another one saying persuade him to see the GP. If there turns out to be nothing actually wrong, and he's just overtired, could he reduce his hours at work?

I think a medical checkup paperback. Better safe than sorry. We all age differently and maybe he is exhausted, but it does sound severe. Hope there’s a resolution for you both.

Jusnoneed, I've got one like that. He won't give in and put his feet up and head back, no, just drops off, cup of tea in hand. When I see it begin to wobble, then I wake him.

Mine falls asleep whenever he's sat and relaxed. It can be quiet funny watching him, Head getting lower, then suddenly lifts before slowly going down again. Arm twitching etc, and if he starts to snore it usually wakes him up.
He even manages to nod off when he is watching something on his laptop while wearing headphones! Evenings he tends to disappear upstairs fairly early, can often hear his snoring from downstairs.