Feeling a little uncomfortable about all this virtue signalling

Well, they do say ‘no good deed goes unpunished’

MissAdventure. I loved your last post! However I am posting to defend Facebook. It is whatever we choose it to be, good or bad or somewhere in between, like people. I use it a lot to publicise my charity, but I also find it gives me the opportunity to judge others. It's hilarious at times. Is this vice-signalling I wonder?

On the whole I enjoy FB.
A few years ago I was disgusted to learn of a good friends death on there though.... It made my blood boil ?. It wasn't even a member of her family that had posted it!!
Stealth boasting is distasteful in any form. I have unfriended people who think posting about how fabulous they are donating a pack of tampons to a food bank or how many Xmas presents each child received and how much it all cost is 'normal and acceptable '.
Life is sad sometimes.

It takes all kinds!

I remember that NfkD, yes, it was things that most people would take for granted as being good manners or kind.

I tried to help an elderly lady across a very busy road. Promptly told to Eff-Off. She said " you do gooders get on my Effin nerves! ?

I'm surprised she didn't give her a makeover, cook her dinner, then post a photo to prove it.

Had a posting on our local Facebook page from someone who had found an elderly woman wandering around who did not know where she was meant to be and was somewhat disassociated! The poster wanted to know if anyone knew who she was. Eventually, she contacted the Police!

And these people breed!

The greatest pleasure I know is to do a good action by stealth and have it found out by accident. thus said the 19th century writer Charles Lamb and it is still true.A thought that virtue signallers might like contemplate and act on.

Anyone remember a chap who was on the news a year or two back as he was attempting to do an act of random kindness every day for a year? Some of the things he said he was doing was stuff I would do without considering it to be other than good manners. I found it rather sad.

Excellent post, lilyflower.

GillT57 could not agree with you more.

I had a teacher once who told us that much of the virtue of a good deed consisted in doing it anonymously, partly to spare the embarrassment of the recipient and partly to ensure you were not doing it to indulge your own spiritual pride. Virtue signalling is explained then by this acute observation which puts the emphasis on the ‘signalling’ rather than the ‘virtue’.

Additionally, it seems to me that many so-called charitable acts are problematic and, examined closely case by case, might prove to be more mischievous than helpful. I heard a radio piece once after much public money was devoted to taking people off the street. A case worker was arguing that giving money to rough sleepers was very harmful as it was almost always spent on drugs or alcohol which harmed the recipient.

I am not arguing against charitable acts per se but they need to be done in an informed and genuinely useful way.

Thanks to annsixty. Life should be about sharing, caring in real time.
Am thankful to GN for insight and sharing,but hope that we are all, in the end, looking to help others.

Your last sentence Nfk sums it up for me.

Some care is needed on FB just as on GN. On FB my privacy settings are for friends only and I don’t say I’m going away on holiday, only posting photos I want to share on my return. Even so FB does not know where I live and my name isn’t unique. Used sensibly FB is a boon.

I am sticking up for Facebook, used in the right way it’s ok. It keeps me in touch with family while I am traveling and when I am home my many friends in SEAsia are able to keep in touch and I love to see hear and hear what is happening. Also the pupils are are able to get in touch with us and ask us questions like what does trending mean. As.for the Christmas greetings I send cards if I am home, twice in ten years, and the rest of the time greetings on Facebook with a donation to St Munro’s. So please don’t knock it it’s excellent for some of us.

Oh, and I don't send Christmas cards either; but I have told friends why not.
1. CBA
2. Think they're a waste of time and money & I'd rather give the money to a charity
3. Don't like them cluttering up my home

There was a thread on GN recently, I'm sorry but I can't remember who started it now, but it was to say that her DS had died, some years ago, and his FB page had deliberately been left open so that his friends could continue to post their good memories of him. The OP of the post had been so touched and delighted that, on the anniversary of her DS's death, his friends had posted wonderful memories of the funny and touching things he had done, that they still remembered with great fondness. That FB page brought a great deal of comfort to his family. If I can find the GN link, I'll post it on here.

Eglantine, is she still your friend? That would have upset me.

NameChange I don't see anything wrong with what you said. It seems a good way to use FB. Before and after you lost your mother it serving a purpose by keeping people in touch. Plus FB is probably where the people involved would expect to find out. I don't even have a problem with the idea of a memorial page.

To be honest I think the current concept of virtue signalling is now overused and a misuse of the original meaning. Take the example that crops up every year now of no longer sending Christmas cards. Not everyone who decides to stop sending Christmas cards is guilty of virtue signalling. Telling you of their intentions could be simply letting you know they've not fallen out with you because you don't get a Christmas card from them. They could be genuinely concerned about the environment, the cost or several other reasons.

Yes, some people jump on the bandwagon, but not all.

Hear hear to your last paragraph iam64
saggi Personally I wouldn’t commemorate my relatives in the newspaper, but I did post a photo of my Dad and me on FB, 40 years after his death.
I don’t know why, really. It was just a way of remembering him publically I suppose, like putting flowers on a grave, and showing that I still love and miss him all these years later.
It’s nothing to do with you or anyone else, so I don’t understand why you think I should ‘get a grip’.

I do not do Facebook. What I find so strange is when people announce to all and sundry that they are flying off on their holidays for x amount of time.
Why not leave the front door open to make things easier for anyone on a burgling spree who is able to access this site. Nothing online is ever 100% secure, so why broadcast the fact that you are away and the house is empty?
I just do not get it at all.

Namechange 2016 - your use of facebook to share the information that your mother had died, having already spoken directly to your close loved ones, doesn't disgust me. This is yet another gransnet thread where the level of irritation and critical comments about fellow human people is a reminder that loving our friends and neighbours isn't as common as many of us would like.

Facebook isn't the work of the devil folks. Some people aren't to our individual tastes, that has always been so. It's life isn't it. We all see things differently but the level of anger and criticism, judgement of others on so many gransnet threads is driving me out.

Totally agree with you Paddyann..... talking to the dead by fb what a pathetic lot of people.. but then putting announcements in the local paper every year ‘remembering’ their relatives justs gives me a pain right between my eyes. It’s all rubbish.... it’s saying look at me , aren’t I
I a good person for remembering. The dead can’t see it or hear it ...cos they’re dead. Remember them in your hearts and minds . And the face bookers doing it...for goodness sake get a grip!!