Feeling a little uncomfortable about all this virtue signalling

People who feel the need to brag on FB are needy themselves. Personally, I use it to keep in touch with a few close friends and my DD1 who lives three hours drive away. They share pictures of their children, places they’ve been and recommendations. One friend has just posted a picture of her new kittens. Details of lost dogs and missing persons are shared, and closed groups such as an on-line car boot sale are good. I follow a few groups like the History Geeks, which are very informative, and have gained through my Australian cousin a FB friend who I’ll never meet. FB is what you make it. Anyone who bragged about good deeds as in the OP would be quietly unfriended!

Quite agree with you GillT57. How very crass of these people. I see nothing charitable about it at all.

Like grandtanteJE65, I go by the Biblical saying, "Do your alms in private" although I'm not a Christian.

I agree with Gill about all the self praise looked for on Fb, though I do use it sometimes to see what my family has been doing. It seems that it's easier to post on Fb than pick up the phone and make a call.

My mother had been ill for many years and most of the family friends and family members kept up with her news via email or Facebook. After she died we told the immediate family by phone but everyone else by Facebook.

We were all too exhausted by her long slow death to ring or email everyone individually. I am sorry if this disgusts people but that's what we had the energy to do!

My response to anyone loudly proclaiming all the good deeds they do is a saying my GM often used empty vessels make the most noise. In other words the more they proclaim their virtues the less I believe they are true.

How do we know this lady did what she claimed she did? Are there photos, film clips? I am sorry I suspect that the lady concerned did nothing of the kind.

Such a good post, radicalnan, a realistic picture of how things are for a change, not some romantic idea.

You're so right.

Ohhps meant Did NOT go about as etc

I do agree with OP, but sometimes the only way for young people to understand something is to have hands on experience , I guess it depends how they behaved , hopefully they had a bit of humility & did go about like lady bountifuls

I agree with the OP

My GC Primary school gave each child a red felt stocking to decorate and fill with small presents for a homeless child. This made the children realise how lucky they are and also led to lots of conversations both in school and at home.

I was brought up to believe that charity should be done quietly, the Gospel story about the Pharisee making a great fuss about giving alms was well and truly rammed down our throats both at home and at school.

I have no problem with a mother teaching her children that there are others less fortunate than them, but the thought of anyone taking an eight year old round town pointing out the homeless sleeping in doorways, I find quite offensive. They are human beings, not animals in a zoo, or exhibits in a museum and should be treated with respect.

I started doing free Christmas meals 20 tears ago for elderly/lonely people it was a huge success but we moved house and I don't know if it continued. Since then I have seen this fetish with the homeless expand so that doing something showy is a bit like going to a panto, part of what makes people feel good at Christmas. All about them!

Last year in Glastonbury we served 250 people free meals, had some complaints that the carrots weren't done and refusals of gifts, once opened as not what they wanted.

Beautiful hand knitted scarves, hats and gloves also refused.

The pub opposite the town hall also laid on meals and gifts, people went from us over the road to see what they could get for free. We had a table for people who wanted to bring their dogs.

It has become obscene and people who think that their children are learning to be kinder etc are foolish, if your child is not kind every day, making it part of the Christmas must do list won't work.

A good many people are homeless from choice, they will not begave at home or in hostels. The prefer to be drunk or drugged than to be in a safe warm place, they often have loving families who have tried EVERYTHING to help them.

We are generating a need for us to fulfil because it makes us feel better. Really the answer to the problems of poverty, addiction and bloody bad behaviour are not to send ' a small boy for the biggest turkey in the shop, some of those people regard us as mugs and will be drifting about causing social chaos wherever they go because they do not want to change.

Over 40 years I have taken in many homeless people, one is now serving 17 tears for murder. Most repaid me with kindness, some changed.

People have to be at rock bottom before they start to work towards change, every warm coat and free meal counters that.

Before Christmas a woman arrived here in town claiming to be on 'the wrong coach' to her mother''s funeral in Glasgow, it was truly freezing out, she gave us some story about domestic violence at home, no money no place to go. I paid for her to go to B&B and for her evening meal, she spent a week with various people funding her jaunt, then went back to London where she suddenly remembered she had friends and support.

We never heard any more about her dead mother in Glashow.

Proceed with caution.

I like fb for keeping in touch with family far away, but I do get irritated with a few 'friends' who frequently post pictures of their culinary efforts - cakes, puddings and even the christmas turkey , and go on to say how delicious it was!!!!

I have always felt that whatever one does to try to help - however small- or large-scale, be it giving a hand to a friend, or doing voluntary work every spare hour, whatever you do.....you do it to help, not to make yourself feel good. And you certainly don't announce it to the world, because for me that cancels it out, makes it only a gesture intended to be noticed and applauded.

BIIIG pinches of salt to be taken when reading FB posts, not only the virtue signalling ones but also 'my life is brilliant' etc. These are in all probability if not fake then certainly airbrushed but I have seen they can cause upset and distress to people who may be struggling. Facebook is not real life.
(But I do like funny animals stuff)

It really, really unsettles me that people can be so narcissistic, given the right means and audience.

On Christmas Day a local woman was murdered. Her daughter immediately went on to fb to pay a tribute to her. Many people commented that fb was the last place you'd want to be when your mum had been stabbed.

I can’t stand it when people announce a death on social media or an anniversary of a death .its just attention seeking as far as I can see. Such as ‘at 3am this morning my wife died and I and beyond devastated’ not that devastated that you can even think of going on Fb to announce it. It makes me grind my teeth

I totally agree with a lot of what u have said. However I Facebook what I do as a lot of my friends donate items to whatever Charity thing I’m involved in and sometimes it’s a good idea to remind people as they firget

Blowing their own trumpet! I have more time for people who show small acts of kindness without announcing it to the world.

People posting on FB that they have just eaten at a new establishment and the food is out of this world. I have then booked a table and been disappointed to find it is yet more bog standard pub food.
Photos are not just liked but they become " wow incredible " and even "stonking"

Or a glass of wine/beer.

I use FB to keep in touch with family abroad ,other than that I have a couple of political forums ,anything else I deleted last year .I check it for a few minutes daily and switch it off.I've seen enough dinners and "stunning" photo's to last me a lifetime...when in reality theres nothing stunning about them..just boosting other peoples ego's even the most ordinary plate of food becomes the 8th wonder of the world...lol

I came off FB for a while because I couldn't stand the 'look at me' culture. It was good for keeping up with what family and friends I don't see much were up to, but sometimes it felt like I was snooping. In the end I started again because I wanted to enter a GN competition that was only through FB. This time though I locked down my account to make it as private as possible. I did a lot of housekeeping and unfriended people I really had no interest in and cleared out my profile too. That was in case there was a data breach in the future. Even now I have to keep on top of the posts that seep through and unsubscribe from the sender. Unfortunately FB does not give you the option to opt out of absolutely everything, but I'm trying to keep it simple. It has its uses, but it's a blight on many lives.