Thank yous

I had a thank you card from my 3 year old great nephew. He had drawn a bunch of flowers and a big X and his mum had written his name. I really appreciated it and it's nice to know that he is being taught to say thank you

Well this is dear to my heart I have four grandchildren and hardly get a thank you at Christmas so unlike the way I thought I had brought mine up!!

I received thank you e mails from my four teenage Grandchildren it was really heart warming.

Just written my 'thank you's' - snail mail!!

It is sometimes difficult to encourage youngsters to send their thanks for gifts. My ploy was to save some of their special drawings and make into a card - then add a thank you.

I emailed Morrisons customer service dept. to tell them about a young employee who noticed me struggling with my shopping and offered to pack my car. He then told me to ask for him if I was struggling in the future.
A few days later, I got a phone call from Morrisons customer service team thanking me for taking the time to email, as people usually email with complaints, not praise. I was quite surprised at this.
He then informed me that the young man's manager would be speaking to him to acknowledge this.

Over Christmas I sent 2 emails to companies praising staff service. I worked in retail and people are always ready to complain but rarely take time to praise good service. I do hope the companies passed on our comments to the staff it makes the job so much better when there's a positive comments rather than complaint. My children are grown up but still send/email thanks for gifts

It’s complex isn’t it. On one hand if they don’t thank, dont give in future. Sounds easy, but of course people not only like giving they like having a small influence in the others lives and gifts can do that. So denying the thanks feels like more of a rejection.
And yet these receivers sometimes feel manipulated that they are only being given these gifts to get attention which annoys them. There is not a clear answer.
I love buying my only gc both girls 3 and five, the occasional piece of clothing. Not only do I never see them in the clothes I am not thanked either. I stopped sending, guessing it just wasn’t welcomed by my unfriendly dil. I cannot imagine being so rude. But there you go.
I will stop again, having bought this Xmas even in front of me, no thanks, (the girls of course just want the next present that isn’t boring clothes.)
I can sometimes prise a thanks out of my son, when he will send me vid showing them with said present.
I do feel that as she has deprived me of their company, except for two or three days a year, that the acceptance of my occasional gifts would be kind. It is hard sometimes not to hate her. Is that what she wants? Beats me.
I have learned to live without them enjoying the occasional picture or video sent by son. Things could always be worse. But we can sometimes let off steam to each other!

I totally agree it does matter, it’s all part of life, dealing with people, being kind & thoughtful, & dare I say respectful, a word that the younger generation appear to be smitten with, if only they understood the true meaning!
Just to acknowledge receipt, surely shouldn’t be to much to expect!

Morning everybody! I have very mixed feelings on this topic. In my humble opinion if no thanks prompts no repeat gift, then the gift wasn't given with an open heart in the first place. Yes, I like to be thanked. It warms my heart, gives me an opportunity of personal communication with the recipient and confirms that the gift has actually arrived. The lack of thanks would certainly not stop me from giving whatever I want to next year. I do not give to get thanks. However, it does seem that I'm very much in the minority according to the responses here.

It is not so much that you need to be thanked but it means an awful lot to have good feedback on the success of your choice. I go to (some might say) ridiculous lengths sometimes to get just the right thing and it feels like a snub to get no comment on whether my efforts were worthwhile.

I'm not too worried about thank yous, really. I assume somebody enjoyed my present or money, so that's good enough for me. If they didn't: well that's tough.

Yes I agree. I've never received a proper thank you from any of my nephews/nieces - I believe that their parents think that it doesn't matter because 'you're family'. It does matter.

It's a minefield isn't it? I send gifts to various far flung young members of the family and almost always get a text, card or personal thank you. I drummed into my children that if someone thinks of you and sends you a gift then a few moments taken to thank them is hardly a strain, but I have one young relative who never responds, even though I have sent her birthday and Christmas gifts for years. For special birthdays I have had items of jewellery made or ordered something really different for her, and I have no idea if she got them - she never says and I hesitate to ask; my fault probably. OH says I should stop sending anything if she can't be bothered. but my feeling is that I don't send a gift to be showered with thanks - I want to give her something to make her happy and let her see that I think of her and remember her special day. It's probably gone on far too long now for me to start getting shirty!

Just received a lovely homemade thank you cards with photos of my nieces and nephews that I sent Christmas money to.

A very pleasant suroruse

I would love a gift to be able to send a thank you note!!!
As I never see grand children and they are in their teens now i save money and do not send anything still waiting to receive a thank you for the money I sent to my son for his wedding and that was over 20 years ago

I tried hard to get something useful for my DS and their wives/girlfriends, which also had to be carried by DS2 across the Atlantic. So I was delighted to hear both from my DS3 and his girlfriend by Whatsapp that the little travelling cutlery set I had got for them were a perfect choice. And DiL1 also sent a lovely thank you e-mail saying that all the little bits and pieces I sent were just right.

DiL2 tells me that the present I had got for DGD was exactly what she had ordered for her herself, but she could cancel the order in time. So if I chose the same as DGD's mother, I can't have been far wrong!

Trust the girls to be thoughtful about this sort of thing! (And also to give useful feedback!)

I dont feel I can stop sending to SiLs children in spite of no thank you letters as she gives generously to my GC!! However Im pretty sure mine do send thanks.
I have sometimes asked her if they got presents and if they liked them and then she apologises for them. But she's never been good at thank you letters herself and nor have her (now adult) children.

I do appreciate that for young children or those who find writing difficult that a handwritten letter is a real chore especially if there are a lot to do. BUT I'm happy with a phone call, text , email, photo of them, note from parent, word processed round robin type letter - any sort of acknowledgement really.

For the 2nd year in a row I've had no thanks from a "sort of relative" who is 17 years old...in fact last year the gift was snatched and then he walked away. Once I was prepared to see it as an oversight, but I'm afraid he won't get anything next year

Yes, when you don't pass the present over in person but by post, it is just reassuring to know it actually got there!

I was visiting DD2 recently, after Christmas, and she commented that she never gets thank you from DD1's (4) children. I don't get thank you either. As OP have said, it would be "nice" just to receive a text/email. It's never been easier to communicate has it? I remember well making sure DDs thanked folks when they were small.

My dd saves the pictures her ds brings home from nursery to send with thank you notes and he draws a x on them. She also sends a photo card showing him playing with or wearing gift which is nice. I am so glad she is doing this and my sister has commented how much she enjoyed getting the photo card from my dd.

We tend nowadays to accept the thanks for presents from the people we are with and a phone call on Christmas or Boxing day from those somewhere else. Very few adults would send a handwritten letter now as email, text, phone etc are so much part of life.

I'm a little bit in the dark about why people transfer money into adult children's bank accounts at Christmas. Is this instead of a present? Or is it money to buy the children's presents? Of course that's no reason not to acknowledge the money but maybe they see that lack of effort to choose, wrap etc a present less worthy of the effort of a thank you.