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(114 Posts)
Oldwoman70 Wed 03-Jan-18 12:20:15

I am fortunate to have a large drive and am happy for my neighbours with smaller drives to park on it as long as I can get in an out. New Years day I saw a strange car on the drive, parked in such a way as to prevent me getting out. I assumed it belonged to a guest of my next door neighbour and ignored it until I needed to leave the house at mid-day. Rang my neighbour, not his. I then had to go along the street knocking on all the doors to find out who it belonged to. Eventually found it was a neighbour at the far end of the street, who has never spoken to me. I asked if the car could be moved as I was going out. The neighbour said the owner was still in bed but that she would tell him

After 20 minutes I went back and said I was still waiting for the car to be moved to be told the owner was in the shower!! Again said I was waiting to go out and could someone else move it only to be told he didn't like anyone else driving his car and that I was being unreasonable as he wouldn't be much longer!! Told them that I didn't care if he was stark naked the car had better be moved immediately as I was going to ring a friend who owned a tow truck and lived 5 minutes away to come and move it for me (I don't!) A young man with wet hair and looking very angry arrived and moved the car.

Now the reason I am seething - was speaking to my next door neighbour today and he said that the first neighbour is telling everyone how unreasonable I was! angry

Sorry just felt the need to rant to someone!!!

Winniewit Fri 05-Jan-18 13:36:27

I saw a tv programme this morning about people who park in residential areas to save the airport car parking fees,
Most of these cars, while not blocking drive access were half on half off the pushchairs wheel chairs and similar couldn't get passed ..and were there for weeks at a time.
In one area the residents when round pasting large notices on the windscreens. I think they were campaigning for double yellows as an end to it all

Miamax5 Fri 05-Jan-18 13:45:19

Personally, once I found out that the car didn’t belong to my immediate neighbours I would have called the police! I certainly wouldn’t have called on someone I’ve never spoken to as I wouldn’t expect them to use my drive. Some people!!

Benjiesmum Fri 05-Jan-18 13:48:22

Hi, I'm new to gransnet and not sure how to start a new post, hope nobody minds me tagging along on this one. I've been at home for the last year or so I suffer from Rheumatoid arthritis which can make my mobility limited. This is my problem, my neighbour started coming over having left her job (we're both in our early sixties) and because I felt sorry for her I started helping her out with groceries clothes etc, she now comes down every afternoon which I find too much. Six weeks ago I broke my ankle, living alone I found it difficult to manage so she helped me out around the house, I paid her for this and also at her request bought her a laptop. She also keeps asking for my bank card so she can get her wages out which I obviously refused. I now feel I need to put a stop to this but how do I do this without causing conflict. I realise I sound like a complete idiot, and I know I have to put a stop to this, she is a very forceful lady and when on occasion I have gently hinted I would like some time alone her reply is I'm coming down anyway!

travelsafar Fri 05-Jan-18 13:59:53

Re the op i would have been absolutely furious if that happened to me. We very often get delivery vans park across our driveway and i know they are only going to be there for a short while so dont mind that.Also we have a district nurse attending to a lady further up our road who i said could use our drive or the space in front if necessary- i know her car, same with the meals on wheels person. But a guest at someone elses house,unless pre arranged, i would have been incandecent with the cheek of it!!!

alchemilla Fri 05-Jan-18 14:07:11


Select AIBU and go to the orange box "start new discussion".

But since you're on this thread - you are being abused. Have you any family you can talk to? Never ever give your card or pin number. Lock the door and don't respond to her. You've helped her out through sympathy and she sounds as if she's now fully prepared to take every financial advantage. I would also contact Age UK 0800 055 6112 and describe your problem.

Diddy1 Fri 05-Jan-18 14:10:52

So rude and impolite, firstly he should have asked you and said which time he would be moving it next day if you said yes. Such thoughtless people around.

GannyRowe Fri 05-Jan-18 14:35:21

Years ago I worked in an office close to city centre shops. We had just 8 double length parking slots, clearly marked PRIVATE PARKING. We used to block each other in, and the car owner or receptionist would move cars if needed. Complicated, but it worked. Sometimes cheeky shoppers would block a car in! They only did it once. The Receptionist had a stack of half A5 sized labels, the sort you had to dampen to get to stick, and she would put one dead centre of the drivers side of the windscreen! Positioned deliberately to make it as hard as possible to see to drive, with a polite note saying no parking, access require at all times etc. If she was in a very bad mood, she'd refuse to give them any water to help remove it too, and this was in the days before everyone carried drinks everywhere!

Nanny123 Fri 05-Jan-18 14:40:41

OMG that’s awful - I think a very “polite” note in this neighbours door outlining that your driveway is no longer available for anyone staying with them - what a bloody cheek

Aepgirl Fri 05-Jan-18 14:42:09

I think this is downright rude. My neighbour's went away for Christmas and said that my daughter could put her car on their drive while they were away. However, I have neighbour's opposite who have room for 4 cars but as soon as any other neighbours are away for a while put one of their cars on that drive. So they put their car there for the whole of Christmas, and then went away! Their next door neighbour is disabled and has carers several times a day but because she had sold her car, they parked on her drive, even cleaned their car there! In the end the lady had to ask them to stop parking there as the careers had nowhere to park.

Overthehills Fri 05-Jan-18 15:21:36

Someone parked across my DD’s drive and she had to wrap DGD (aged 4) up and walk her to the GP where she was diagnosed with a chest infection. DD left quite a polite note in the windscreen informing the driver of this. She hasn’t parked there again though others have.

Carolpaint Fri 05-Jan-18 15:31:43

Old woman, You have been lovely, there is no reason to change your kind ways. Perhaps a note put through all doors outlining how horrible was the behaviour of No 18s was, may establish you do it out of kindness and cannot understand the behaviour meted out to you. Who knows perhaps an apology may come your way? Sorry that such unpleasantness happened. Or perhaps a more upfront neighbour may instil manners to them more bluntly.

Yellowmellow Fri 05-Jan-18 15:32:35

People who have to justify themselves (e.g. this neighbour to your other neighbour) usually do it because they know they are in the wrong. This was totally disrespectful and of course because they have been so unreasonable wont be able to use your drive again. You are good enough to let other neighbour's use your drive and they know this, so I wouldn't worry. I would be very miffed it it were me!Total lack of manners.

Yellowmellow Fri 05-Jan-18 15:39:36

Message for Benjiesmum: You are being abused, and bullied. Have you got a friend or family member who can be there when this person comes down? if she does come down, don't open the door, if you have made it clear that you don't want a visit. Never give anyone your bank card or details. Completely agree with Alchemilla's advice. If you are being threatened the police would visit, possibly a PCSO who would support you.

GabriellaG Fri 05-Jan-18 16:03:19


I understand the frustration of your generosity being abused by persons unknown to you and I agree that he and his hostess were completely out of order...and rude, however, linking in to some other comments on this thread, I'm afraid that many of you are under an illusion re access.
Regardless of dropped kerbs, whether or not you pay for them, you have no rights outside your property boundary which does not include the pavement or road.
When the Highway Code states 'DO NOT' with regard to parking across a driveway which is not your own, it is merely an ADVISORY note, not enforceable in law.
If the Highway Code states 'MUST NOT' then it is the law and enforceable.
You cannot ring the police to get them to tow or move or interfere with someone blocking your driveway. It IS NOT A matter for the police as it isn't enforceable. Police have nothing to do with it. The highways are public property and you can park wherever you like, save red routes, double and single yellows, zig-zags, crossings etc and designated areas for doctors garages and emergency services. That is the law and it has been the law for a great many years.

GabriellaG Fri 05-Jan-18 16:06:54

Of course, one expects that people are decent enough not to park where they know that access and exit might need to be available but not all people are decent, however, they are not breaking any law.

IngeJones Fri 05-Jan-18 16:10:43

Lol it's one thing parking in front of a drive, but parking ON it is a whole new level of incredibleness.

GabriellaG Fri 05-Jan-18 16:17:27

And another thing. It's not illegal to park on the pavement. What IS illegal is to DRIVE on the pavement. You might say that in order to park there you would have to have driven onto it and you'd be correct. Try getting a video of someone doing that. Police park on pavements too, to give road users the benefit of using the whole width of the road. They are not in the business of prosecuting pavement parkers, that's down to traffic wardens who rarely, if ever, do anything about it.
It's actually an offence to stand and talk on a pavement. They are primarily for passing along in your way to B from A. It's a law which has never been repealed and would incur a fine if it ever got to court.

GabriellaG Fri 05-Jan-18 16:22:06


I mentioned my disgust re parking on the OP's driveway in the first couple of sentences. What I later addressed were some comments made by others who mentioned driveways being blocked.

Solartie Fri 05-Jan-18 16:25:55

I agree with everything that has been said already.

I think I would send the neighbour that is saying you are unreasonable a letter stating that from now on your drive is not her free car park and that if you find any more of her visitors parking on your drive you will block them in with a lorry and not bother informing them and if you happen to be going away tough luck.

villy Fri 05-Jan-18 17:16:38

I really wish there was a 'like' button on this forum .

codfather Fri 05-Jan-18 17:23:36

Your neighbours are not doing themselves any favours by telling everyone that it was you who was being unreasonable! Had he blocked me in, with my 2.8TD 4x4, his car would have been moved!

Just because someone expresses an opinion, doesn't mean that everyone else holds the same. In fact, they have probably done themselves more harm than you.

Just let them get on with it and if they park there again, ring the Police and say a car is blocking your drive and you need to get out. I had to do that once when a car was parked across mine. The Police sorted it in minutes and it's quite an amusing story but that's for another time.

EmilyHarburn Fri 05-Jan-18 17:30:00

Your generosity was abused. I hope you photographed the car on your phone so that if it turns up again you can check immediately that it is parked considerately and if not get the person to move it. You are very kind to allow anyone to use your drive.

Lilyflower Fri 05-Jan-18 17:37:33

Your neighbours will ignore the awful man as they know you are not unreasonable.

NotTooOld Fri 05-Jan-18 17:53:00

We have a similar situation and it is infuriating. A couple drove up our drive once and parked outside our kitchen door. They both got out of the car, locked it and started walking away. 'Excuse me!' I called. They turned round and looked at me. 'You are parked on my drive,' I said, expecting them to be embarrassed and apologetic. Were they heck? 'We're visiting Mrs X,' they said. 'She lives across the road,' I replied. 'You can park there.' Did they apologise? No, they glared at me, tutted, got back in the car and drove off. Honestly, some people! I know we are lucky to have a big drive but why do people assume it is their right to park on it without even asking? A couple moving in next door once parked their removal van on our drive without a by your leave. I left DH to deal with that one as he's stroppier than me. Needless to say the van was moved with no apology forthcoming but had they just asked we would have let them unload from there. Grr..grr..grr.....

sue421 Fri 05-Jan-18 18:11:16

Hey ho - time to pull back on your generosity! There is no way I would have done that to you - how you handle that depends on how friendly you are with everyone else. I would write an open letter saying that after this had happened you will not be allowing anyone to park on your drive unless they speak to you first!
How unbelievably rude! But it is your property. Time for gates on your driveway?