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(114 Posts)
Oldwoman70 Wed 03-Jan-18 12:20:15

I am fortunate to have a large drive and am happy for my neighbours with smaller drives to park on it as long as I can get in an out. New Years day I saw a strange car on the drive, parked in such a way as to prevent me getting out. I assumed it belonged to a guest of my next door neighbour and ignored it until I needed to leave the house at mid-day. Rang my neighbour, not his. I then had to go along the street knocking on all the doors to find out who it belonged to. Eventually found it was a neighbour at the far end of the street, who has never spoken to me. I asked if the car could be moved as I was going out. The neighbour said the owner was still in bed but that she would tell him

After 20 minutes I went back and said I was still waiting for the car to be moved to be told the owner was in the shower!! Again said I was waiting to go out and could someone else move it only to be told he didn't like anyone else driving his car and that I was being unreasonable as he wouldn't be much longer!! Told them that I didn't care if he was stark naked the car had better be moved immediately as I was going to ring a friend who owned a tow truck and lived 5 minutes away to come and move it for me (I don't!) A young man with wet hair and looking very angry arrived and moved the car.

Now the reason I am seething - was speaking to my next door neighbour today and he said that the first neighbour is telling everyone how unreasonable I was! angry

Sorry just felt the need to rant to someone!!!

JanaNana Fri 05-Jan-18 10:24:04

You have been more than generous allowing neighbours to park in your drive. However since this episode I would not allow it now, it's more trouble than its worth. If you don't have gates then get a sign made : private drive - no other parking : anyone asking why can be told why you now have had a change of mind.

Musicelf Fri 05-Jan-18 10:30:03

Blimey, I'm seething here just reading about it! I keep thinking that nothing anyone does can surprise me anymore, but then some ignorant twazzock like this one comes along!

There are no words, are there?!

Grampie Fri 05-Jan-18 10:31:39

Fail to ascert your ownership and you may lose the exclusive rights to your drive.

I recommend that you consult your solicitor.

jura2 Fri 05-Jan-18 10:31:40

So inconsiderate and rude- I'd be seething too.

What if you had had an emergency, or had an appointment, or had to pick up granchildren, etc. ?!?

dizzygran Fri 05-Jan-18 10:38:55

I also have a large drive but have never invited neighbours to park on it - too much hassle if I need to go out or have a visitor. You have been more than kind in the past - not its time to park in such a way to stop neighbours taking advantage. Such a cheek for someone you hardly know to invite a complete stranger to park on your land and then not move quickly when asked - and to expect you to wait whilst he showers and changes!! Hope some of your neighbours read the posts on GN.

starbird Fri 05-Jan-18 10:44:23

As you say this is not a neighbour you had spoken to, she either got the impression from seeing other neighbours parking in your drive, that it was a free for all and perhaps assumed you did not have a car, or, perhaps was talking to another neighbour about having someone to stay and not knowing where he could park, and the neighbour told her that you allowed people to park on your drive, omitting to mention that you must not be blocked in. Even so, she should have apologised and been more helpful when you went to complain - I imagine she felt guilty and bad about telling her guest it was ok to park when it wasn’t. This young man should not have been angry at you - he doesn't sound very nice, was probably cross with his host who seems to have been afraid to upset him in spite of his being young. Perhaps it is a loved relative who visits her rarely on sufferance and she is afraid he won’t want to come again.
Why not knock on neighbour’s door, say let’s be friends, and invite her round for coffee where you can explain the situation and laugh it off. Start the New Year on a good note.

vampirequeen Fri 05-Jan-18 10:54:25

I'd be spitting feathers too. How dare they use your drive then paint you as the villain!!!! Put a sign up saying 'Private drive.' and tell people that you like that it's still OK for them to park but you're not prepared to let just anyone park there.

goose1964 Fri 05-Jan-18 10:57:48

Mumsnet have a name for people like this. They're known as CFs cheeky insert expletive here.

FlorenceFlower Fri 05-Jan-18 11:11:03

You have been very kind, perhaps too kind. I do wonder if you need to stop all parking by neighbours for a while, and perhaps get some advice from the CAB about this?

I looked at a house recently which was lovely BUT didn’t buy it, and one reason was because part of the long drive was shared, and the other house had several young teenagers in their family, and we were concerned about possible problems of other people feeling over entitled about parking.

Hope it all goes well. ?

Devorgilla Fri 05-Jan-18 11:21:43

I agree with dizzygran. Park in such a way that no-one else can park in your drive at least for a short while just to make the point that it is your drive and private property.

Jane43 Fri 05-Jan-18 11:22:39

A good example of “Give them an inch and they’ll take a mile” Nobody could think you acted unreasonably unless the facts were distorted beyond reognition which is probably the case.

jocork Fri 05-Jan-18 11:53:38

I live by a primary school and work at another school across town. If I return home straight after finishing I arrive at the time of maximum chaos in the road. I can rarely park outside my own house but can usually park across my driveway as I am entitled to block my own access. Occasionally I have found other vehicles blocking my driveway and I'm afraid they get a piece of my mind - if I can find somewhere to park in order to get out and give it to them! Once I glued a message to the windscreen of a car that had done that and later my next door neighbour came round to apologise as it was his son's car and he thought I would be out until later. Fortunately it was raining hard and the rain had washed away the pritstick I'd used so he thought it was just a piece of paper under the wipers. I have been shocked by the way some of my neighbours have been treated by school parents parking IN their drives and refusing to move immediately. One who has gates found someone had opened them and parked inside! I look forward to the day someone parks in my drive as I will simply park across the entrance blocking them in and tell them I won't be moving until the next morning unless they pay me for the use of the space then I'll let them go!

henetha Fri 05-Jan-18 11:58:42

I'm being very selective now as to who can use my drive.
I've told certain nice neighbours that they still can, and I've stuck a "No Parking" sign on my garage door.
I'm still spitting nails over this!

sylviann Fri 05-Jan-18 12:01:00

As other neighbours are allowed to use your space I think they won't be interested in malicious gossip

Peardrop50 Fri 05-Jan-18 12:21:51

What a horrid thing for you to have to deal with.
I do love the poem Phoenix and Granny Guitar, both made me smile.
I'd be inclined to take Starbird's advice, nothing takes down a less than decent person more than exceptional kindness, and it feels so good.
I'm sure your other neighbours won't believe the unreasonable tittle tattle as you're obviously a good person xx

Oldwoman70 Fri 05-Jan-18 12:23:18

Thanks for all the supportive messages - actually my other neighbours have given her short shrift. One neighbour has suggested taking it in turns to park on the street blocking her drive to give her a taste of her own medicine grin. I don't think she, or any of her visitors, will be using my drive again!

annifrance Fri 05-Jan-18 12:35:39

Starbird and peardrop this is beyond killing with kindness.

I think I would ask the local community policeman to go round and have a word.

One of my properties was in the middle of a conservation area, at the of a dirt track and over a bridge and clearly a private property. Someone parked in our garden and went for a long walk. I wrote a rude message in lipstick all over the driver's wind screen. Very effective. Didn't happen again and whoever it was, was not tyo be seen!

Elrel Fri 05-Jan-18 12:55:20

Kitty- Single yellow lines as protection? You’re lucky that they are observed!
In a suburb near me the entitled ones collecting precious snowflakes park on double yellow lines This is on a narrow main road used by numerous bus routes and heavy vehicles. They are also half on the pavement and some actually park at the bus stop. Buses have to stop up to a metre from the kerb thus blocking traffic in both directions.
There are two pub car parks (empty at 3pm) less than 5 minutes walk away. Neither the primary school nor the police seem capable of dealing with this.

Candelle Fri 05-Jan-18 13:00:36

I'm sure your neighbours would know who was being unreasonable but to restore your good name, I might perhaps have a word, when passing, to reiterate that although you are still happy for them to park on your driveway, you really do need egress when you want, i.e. unlike the other day when...... etc.

My daughter lives in a house with a driveway in a busy town centre and has, returning after a 14 hour working day, found another (stranger, not a neighbour's) car ensconced there.... A car was also parked there with two small - two-three years old - children left in in whilst the owner 'popped out to collect some dry-cleaning'! Words would just fail me.

Alternatively, you could just block the neighbour's driveway who's guest block you in...... Naughty Candelle!

Funnygran Fri 05-Jan-18 13:03:23

My son lives opposite a very busy church which has activities going on most evenings. He regularly finds cars parked either completely or partly blocking his driveway. He usually leaves a polite (!) note on the windscreen. On one occasion when he spoke to a driver he was told that they were only there for an hour so didn't think it mattered. So cheeky!

anxiousgran Fri 05-Jan-18 13:03:27

You're obviously a very accommodating person. I don't blame you for having a rant! I'm not impressed with your neighbour passing on rude remarks about you, that's almost as upsetting as the nasty incident in the first place.

I'm not sure retaliation is good idea though, it might only escalate the problem. You shouldn't have to put up any notices to stop people parking in your own drive.

As gransnetters have said above, get the police to tow it away if it happens again. They soon turn up if they can't contact them via their registration number (it's happened to me).

Anyway, hope it never happens again.

Winniewit Fri 05-Jan-18 13:07:58

You ladies have my every sympathy

GrannyParker Fri 05-Jan-18 13:18:57

What a blooming cheek, I doubt that any of the people this ill mannered fool complains to will have any sympathy with him.

sarahellenwhitney Fri 05-Jan-18 13:25:47

I have learned lessons from being neighbourly as there is always someone who will take advantage. Apart from this ignorant neighbour, who was by law trespassing as you had not given her permission to use your drive , have you ever considered the wear and tear you are putting on your drive by the coming and going of others ?would they be willing to 'chip in' when your drive needs maintenance?I am sorry if this sounds harsh but by your generosity you have made a rod for your own back and have now unfortunately been taken advantage of. Should you learn this person is continuing with her unjustified comments, then seek advice from CAB ,who will advise how to handle this person possibly by you sending a letter to her advising her comments are unjustifiable and slanderous and that she was /or her visitor was in fact trespassing and by your allowing close neighbours on your drive is not an open invitation for the rest of the area. Good luck.

jura2 Fri 05-Jan-18 13:33:11

Our flat in the UK has a parking place, paid for. One of the neighbours has 2 cars and has got used to using it when we are away. I don't mind at all - but when we had friends staying at the flat recently- they of course used the parking space (has the flat number writ large on the paving stones) and they got a mouthful from said neighbour for using the space. They explained they were staying at the flat which we had lent them for a couple of weeks - and that we had given permission. They still gave them dirty looks and muttering under their breaths everytime they met ... the blooming cheek. We now have asked the site manager to stop them from parking there, at any time.