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AIBU

carers not doing their job

(116 Posts)
overthehill Thu 04-Jan-18 23:53:09

I was seething today and I don't seeth very often.
I go to a knitting group. A person in a wheelchair turns up with their carer. Room has to be made and one knitter was asked to move to another seat to make way for the carer. The wheelchair is next to me. When coffee time came someone made this person a coffee in a mug they had with them. I now have to get involved as he/she cannot reach the table to put it down. They then get a carton of special milk out and fill the mug to the brim. Not wanting this over me some was tipped away by another knitter. In the meantime at two different times two knitters tried to get this person knitting without success. Later the lady who runs the group notices the carton of milk on the floor spilling out over the carpet. The lady who runs it gets down on her knees she's over 70 and cleans the floor up. The carer so called does absolutely nothing and isn't sitting next to her charge, I am.

Of course being an all inclusive group we have to let anyone in who wants to come. I know it sounds unkind but this person was not capable of knitting in any shape or form. This carer knows she can have any easy ride and rest by bringing this person along and basically dumping them there while she has a relaxes.

Strangely enough I have another example from the day before (which probably added to my annoyance today).

DH and I were on a bus and a wheelchair with carer got on. After a little while there was the ghastly smell of some greasy take away. It became evident the man in the wheelchair was eating it. He then tried to attract the attention of his carer who had earphones on and it took another passenger on the bus to poke him as the man in the chair had dropped the food all over the floor of the bus. The carer did clear up after a fashion, but did he think it was a good idea to give food to someone with limited capacity a meal on a bus....I question where they get these people from and why aren't they doing the job they're paid for.

Marelli Sat 06-Jan-18 17:40:47

The ‘carer’ or the volunteer who accompanied the lady in the wheelchair may have felt rather uncomfortable, too?
Like another poster has already mentioned, the venue would have had to be risk-assessed before the outing could take place, I would’ve thought.
It’s very possible that the person accompanying the lady in the wheelchair was a volunteer, but she would’ve/should’ve been aware of the person’s needs.

Marelli Sat 06-Jan-18 17:50:40

I meant to say that the carer/volunteer may have felt awkward if she herself felt excluded from the group?

GabriellaG Sat 06-Jan-18 18:22:03

Gosh! I've read all the comments and I'm blown away by the determined effort to think the worst of the OP.
I've been a paid carer (in my later years after retirement) NOT for any relative or as agency staff but in a private capacity. My salary was either a mixture of the person paying me out of their care allowance or paid by family members. My earnings have been as high as £980 for a 10 hour day (1 week on 1 off, living in for the week on) which did not include cooking or cleaning, for a lady paralysed from the waist down and needing hoisting etc and as little as £350 npw with use of a car and suite of rooms for an elderly gentleman with Alzheimer's. I've worked with carers from around the world and very few, VERY few are uncaring carers. One male Trinidadian carer was so caring that he even talked to and apologised when moving him, to the old gentleman we were laying out. I am still in touch with this marvellous man who is now married to a Polish lady carer.
Most private carers are very well paid. I sourced my work through The Lady magazine and thoroughly enjoyed my second career.

fluttERBY123 Sat 06-Jan-18 18:28:58

The carer should do the job, yes, but part of a person in a wheelchair going out, out anywhere, is for a change of scene and a change of faces, whatever might happen in the way of stuff spilt, others irritated etc. Whether or not she could knit is not the point here IMHO.

I can see the point of those who just wanted a quiet knit as well.....

WilmaKnickersfit Sat 06-Jan-18 18:47:24

My recent experience of carers is over the last year for my FiL. The carers have been excellent. Any problems we've had have been down to the office staff and the shortage of carers. In our experience carers are trying their best and it does not surprise me at all that so many leave the job. Carers are just not valued in our society.

loopyloo Sat 06-Jan-18 18:58:30

"This person" in the wheelchair didnt have a very good afternoon it seems. Presumably she he had a name and a gender but it was not acknowledged. I understand your frustration with the carer but it would have been a way to teach her a caring and inclusive attitude.
.

Barmeyoldbat Sat 06-Jan-18 18:59:25

My daughter has risk assessment but they are undertaken for each outing but covers nearly every situation for her needs. The building would or should be accessible for a wheelchair, so on that score no risk assessment needed. Fire, well there should be fire exits etc and a notice showing how to leave the building etc. As the building is geared up for the disabled I don’t see need the for a risk assessment.

Bellanonna Sat 06-Jan-18 21:49:42

loopyloo you got there before me. The wheelchair user was described in the OP as this person, he/she, they, but actual gender never referred to. How odd!

Foxygran Sat 06-Jan-18 22:07:23

Well of course Room has to be made - we are talking about a person here, who would rather just walk in and sit on a chair, the same as everyone else. Unfortunately she has to come in a wheelchair - it's large, not easily manoeuvrable, potentially embarrassing when people have to move to make space.

Ok, so she wasn't able to knit but maybe it was something she used to love to do and surely she would be welcome as a part of a likeminded group?

People need to realise some disabled people are just not suited to an environment which is very cramped - I totally disagree with this statement. We should be inclusive to all.

Next week/ next year it could be anyone of us in that same situation and I'd personally hope I'd be welcome in a group such as this.

We may also be unlucky enough to have a Carer who isn't particularly conscientious too, though in my experience a lot of them are exceptionally good. It's about time we learnt to value 'care' and pay people a living wage. It's no wonder some of them don't put their heart and soul into it- the pay is abysmal.

Jane10 Sat 06-Jan-18 22:31:22

I entirely agree that its about time that carers were given the living wage. In our paper today it was announced that Aldi were going to increase their hourly pay for staff. That will take it well above the rate paid by care providing organisations round us. Recruitment and retention is already a major problem for the charity I'm involved with.

Sam1965 Sun 07-Jan-18 11:50:07

Well your group dies not sound caring or inclusive ...
And as for the bus incident just the way you’ve written it shows no compassion or understanding...
I hope your or yours are never in this position

Elrel Sun 07-Jan-18 23:39:30

Was anybody actually talking to either 'the carer' or 'the person'? As Stella, Sam and others have posted it doesn't sound a very friendly or welcoming group. What a shame!

Madgran77 Mon 08-Jan-18 16:43:12

I do wonder why on earth a conversation wasn't had at the time rather than all this seething!!

Elrel Mon 08-Jan-18 17:20:05

Mad gran - too easy?!

GrandmaMoira Mon 08-Jan-18 17:26:39

My experience of a carer for my husband was awful. I find this is quite common. The problem is that Social Services outsource to the cheapest provider who do not provide staff training and so some carers have no idea of even the most basic health and safety. Of course some carers are good, but not all of them.