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To treat my son's home as a holiday venue, while he's there?

(63 Posts)
Tennisnan Mon 29-Jan-18 15:37:27

My son and his wife live in the Far East for his banking job. I love the city he lives in. Is it wrong to visit twice a year for 2 weeks? While I'm there I - buy their food and mine, and cook it, do chores and errands for them, ask them not to change their schedule or use up holiday allowance to occupy me, contribute to aircon bill, tidy up after myself, go to bed early several nights to give them alone time, get myself to and from the airport. When he visits me over in UK he goes straight back to treating our home as his home which I love. They both say we love you visiting but fiancées mum said recently when we met "didn't you have a really long stay last time? Did you enjoy yourself?". It got me thinking they've commented unfavourably to her about my visits. She only stays about 4 days at a time but she's always on a journey to/from New Zealand visiting relations so has had her holiday somewhere else - and stays with relatives.

eebeew Tue 30-Jan-18 21:07:33

Sorry about 2 posts.

SpringyChicken Tue 30-Jan-18 23:01:08

Her mum sounds a little bit jealous to me because you see more of her daughter than she does. Carry on as you are, just say to your son and DIL that if your visits become a strain, you want them to speak up. You can't do more than that. It sounds as though you are well loved by them.

LuckyDucky Tue 30-Jan-18 23:08:50

St. Leonards on-sea not so far to travel as Hong Kong:

The scenario:
A relative by marriage invites himself and his wife to stay for four nights, stipulating the date, so he can catch up with his friend from Northern Ireland.

His friend has a 2 bed house in the area. The hosts are only taken out for a thank you cheap lunch. You know the brand, pay first, eat later. Nothing wrong with the brand, but not somewhere I'd take a relative to say thank you.

The husband used to make fun of her attempts to diet and even gave her a very large tin of biscuits as a thank you saying, "bet you've eaten them before we get home".

His wife did nothing to ameliorate his behaviour.
Your thoughts please.

WilmaKnickersfit Tue 30-Jan-18 23:17:43

Jalima and Cari I'm missing something here. What metal trees? confused

SpringyChicken Tue 30-Jan-18 23:18:34

Is this a one off or regular event, LuckyDucky? I wouldn't want them back again.

Jalima1108 Tue 30-Jan-18 23:22:00

I will try to put a picture on Wilma
fingers crossed:

Jalima1108 Tue 30-Jan-18 23:22:35

WilmaKnickersfit Tue 30-Jan-18 23:51:26

Thanks Jalima, I've seen them on TV. Actually what I meant was why did you mention them? I know I'm missing something, but I don't understand why you posted about them. blush

Jalima1108 Wed 31-Jan-18 12:51:37

I think someone up thread asked if it was Singapore and it took off from there.

Of course, it could be Hong Kong, Kuala Lumpur, Shenzhen or anywhere but that hasn't been clarified as far as I know.

Sorry OP - the thread got side-tracked.

WilmaKnickersfit Wed 31-Jan-18 21:36:09

Ah, got it now! grin

holdingontometeeth Sat 29-Dec-18 15:06:29

Jalima1108 Mon 29-Jan-18 15:46:12

Perhaps they thought you should have stayed longer?
I am a bit confused - who is the fiancee?

Perhaps the comment was made before they got married smile

Niobe Sat 29-Dec-18 15:25:28

Luckyducky, I think I would be very busy the next time this guy wanted to come and visit. We once invented a trip to the USA to avoid playing host to a vague acquaintance and his family. Not only would I have been expected to to provide a place to stay but also transport and meals. No thanks.