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Amazon wish list - yes or no????

(64 Posts)
boheminan Wed 21-Mar-18 11:24:08

My daughter's 40th is coming up soon and I've been pointed to a 'Wish List' she's put online Amazon, giving clear instructions as to what she wants for presents.

This has been a regular feature within the family for a couple of years now - birthdays, Christmas, weddings, etc...what to buy for them? Well, look on their Amazon Wish List.

I enjoy choosing gifts, and in the past have stubbornly refused to comply with The List (usually I find the requested presents far out of my price range, or I have no idea what they exactly areconfused.). When they were little they used to write Father Christmas a present list, but this was for little things, like gerbil wheels - now I'd need to save up for a year before I could buy anything for them. My daughter's say the Wish List is an excellent idea because that way the recipient gets what they want (that's of course if I've managed to work out exactly what it is) rather than something that (to them) is useless.

I can feel the rebelling feeling tingling in my toes and I'm about to get on me bike and cycle into town to look for something I think she'll like for her birthday.

GN'rs - please stop me now if you think I'm doing the wrong thing (I need the exercise anywaygrin.

Legs55 Fri 23-Mar-18 12:24:12

We always ask now what family would like, DM is 89 so I shall take her shopping for her Birthday/Mother's Day Present(s) when I visit next month otherwise it's money.

DD & her OH it's usually money & a small gift.

DGSs, I ask my DD for a list of ideas, books (Nan always , buys book(s) for Birthday/ Christmas) & toys.

I either get money & a small gift or DD asks me for ideas, usually practical, for Christmas my main present was a new toaster which I neededgrin

I too hate "lists" on Amazon as I take great pleasure looking out for unusual presents

icanhandthemback Fri 23-Mar-18 12:30:07

You could always buy Amazon Vouchers.

Sennelier1 Fri 23-Mar-18 12:48:53

I like it when my children have wishlists, that way I'm sure my gift will be appreciated. Still, sometimes when I see something really special, I buy it if I feel sure it's just so perfect for daughter (or in law) or son (or in law) ? Let me add that these improvisto gifts are usually very affordable.

willa45 Fri 23-Mar-18 12:58:32

In our family adult birthday celebrations are all about the food, the cake and the company. We usually give things like flowers, a nice wine or a keepsake such as a framed (vintage) family photo.

At Christmas we exchange categories and this way we don't lose the element of surprise (i.e. kitchen stuff, art supplies). We tend to splurge more on our GC as the lists are usually very long and very detailed, and we dare not disappoint grin.

Happysexagenarian Fri 23-Mar-18 13:02:08

I would choose something affordable from her list, and also buy a small extra gift as a surprise, perhaps some pretty earrings as it's a special birthday.

As we live so far away from our children and grandchildren and don't always see them on their birthdays we usually send money or gift cards. At Christmas our grandchildren email us their wish lists (usually compiled from the Argos catalogue!) and we don't tell them what we've selected so it's still a surprise. We also give them some money as they all enjoy shopping. I go to enormous lengths to package gifts in an interesting way even if the contents is just a gift card and they often keep the pretty boxes I have made.

gillyknits Fri 23-Mar-18 13:26:48

We have been using wish lists for a while but have always insisted that there be some things in the lower price range. This helps the less well off members of the family. It’s lovely to get something that your really like,that you would not always buy for yourself.

boheminan Fri 23-Mar-18 13:33:35

I'm going to stick my neck out here (never fear. I usually end up winding it back in again very quicklygrin).

The Amazon wish list (to me) is an example of where we're heading. I think people are becoming more isolated now just about everything is catered for online - from everyday groceries to cars.

The town I shop in is now a ghost town., no one goes to the little bookshops (so two have closed down) clothes shops are empty, the toy shop's closed, the market's closed - even the big 'superstore' up the road is nowhere as busy as it was a few years ago.

I appreciate online shopping for a lot of people is an essential blessing - and being able to buy the one off rarity from eBay's useful but (going back to my original point) being given a list of items to buy online feels very impersonal, almost unhuman. I've no objections to being given a written list of ideas for presents to buy from wherever I want, but my objection and worry is that the internet is coming through the backdoor and isolating our communities and interactions as human beings.

grandtanteJE65 Fri 23-Mar-18 13:35:42

I've no problem with wishing lists, but I do have a problem with people who only wish for expensive presents that are quite unreasonable for my purse!

Is there no-one who you could get to join you in a present from the list?

if not, buy a gift token for an amount you can afford.

FarNorth Fri 23-Mar-18 13:39:15

So, boheminan, even if you saw an item you would like to give, on the wishlist, and were able to buy it in a real shop, your main objection would be to the use of an online list in the first place?

BlueBelle Fri 23-Mar-18 13:46:41

No no no I m with you Boheminem all the way I don’t like this style at all We do tell each other hints what we would like say a certain perfume, piece of make up, book title etc but it’s only a hint an Amazon list is so lacking of any feeling I think they seem materialistic and a yes bit greedy
My kids or grandkids would point something out online to give me a clue or even send me a link to say something like this but never a shop list that is so sterile I dislike that way intensely just like I dislike weddings asking for money for honeymoons I also dislike crowdfunding for pets or funerals etc I don’t like the way it’s going at all

mabon1 Fri 23-Mar-18 14:11:46

good if gifts are £20,00 or less. What really annoys me is the wedding list that says money for the honeymoon please

sodapop Fri 23-Mar-18 14:12:02

I like the wish lists. I read a lot and enjoy receiving books as a gift. The list means I get titles I want and not something have already read. Tokens are not quite the same. I enjoy choosing from the list for others as well knowing its something they really want.
You can always buy a small surprise gift as well.

nipsmum Fri 23-Mar-18 14:19:26

If you can't afford anything on your daughter's list then buy an Amazon voucher at what you can afford and she can spend it as she likes. This system works well for my family and Grandchildren. I know nothing about electronics so that solves the problem.

Seakay Fri 23-Mar-18 14:24:16

I understand your feelings, but presumably, you will be hurt when she exhibits no pleasure in the gift she didn't ask for but which you know she will like? If you can't afford the present she wants there is no point in buying something else just because you want to buy it - either club together with someone else or explain to her you can't afford what she has asked for and just send a nice card. She may be unaware of your financial restrictions and so has not included more affordable options.

MissAdventure Fri 23-Mar-18 14:26:07

The OP hasn't said she can't afford the wishlist presents.

boheminan Fri 23-Mar-18 14:32:31

FarNorth. I'm struggling to put into words my feelings on this. Like BlueBelle the concept of people asking for wedding money, crowdfunding, etc, leaves me cold.

If there was an item on the wish list that I'd like to buy, then I would do so but it seems a sad state of affairs when a list has to be displayed in this way - I thought it was the sort of only royalty did! I'd much rather be given pointers, or a little personal written list. I think wedding lists have been around for a long time, but birthday lists somehow smack of greedshock. I wonder how those of us who are not computer literate (a bit like me, it took ages to work out how to find the list) fare? What's wrong with doing a bit of personal detective work to suss out what they'd likehmm.

MissAdventure Fri 23-Mar-18 14:34:52

I think it takes some of the enjoyment out of it, for those who like to choose things.
I wonder if everything will end up on a wishlist at some point?
Easter egg wishlists..

marpau Fri 23-Mar-18 15:02:28

If you don't want to buy something from the list you could buy the vouchers as suggested by others. My mother always ruined my birthdays as she handed over a gift she would say I know this isn't what you wanted but I like it ( she always thought she knew better! Grr)

VIOLETTE Fri 23-Mar-18 16:20:54

Give money towards something ....tell her this is given with love and is all you can afford !!!! Just had my 70th ...not even a card from the husband ! never mind, I did buy myself some perfume and flowers I got what I wanted ! Oh, and a big mac for a treat !!! grin

Saggi Fri 23-Mar-18 17:59:23

My daughter had always been ‘out there’ as far as fashion and presents are concerned . I have never got it right although she would never say so. She’s forty now and I asked her (started last year) to post in her Amazon wish list! Why would that upset anybody. I’d rather she had something she wanted then ‘pretend’ to like what I’ve gotten her. Anyway it works both ways ...once my kids were out of childhood , present buying has been agony.Long live the wish list. I do the same to my kids ...give them a list and they pick a pressie.

Millie8 Fri 23-Mar-18 20:02:02

We have hand written wish lists that we hand around for Christmas and birthdays. It spoils the surprise but as others have said,avoids the awkwardness of an unwanted pressie. As well as a pressie from the wish list, if she is sentimental, would she appreciate a small family heir loom, maybe a special photo or peice of jewellery that was her grandmothers? She doesnt have to wear it and it wont take up much space in a draw. Hope she wouldnt sell it though!

Lilyflower Fri 23-Mar-18 20:52:17

Crowdfund something your daughter really wants with others or give her cash as a contribution. Don’t buy her some gift she doesn’t want just to make a point.

Do you like your daughter?

grannyjean09 Fri 23-Mar-18 21:30:36

I get the impression from the posts that everyones house is full of 'stuff'. When I am asked what I want for Xmas I cant think of anything that I really need. I give cheques with tiny token presents that wont be wasted (chocs, flowers) as none of my family have the same taste as me or as each other. I get pleasure from giving them small unexpected gifts for no particular occasion so they know that I am thinking of them. Am not comfortable with materialism. They are all very happy with their cheques.

GabriellaG Fri 23-Mar-18 21:54:01

Why not start making a list for your next birthday/anniversary/ Christmas and make sure that everything on the list is over £40?
See what she buys for you.
Two can play that game.

GabriellaG Fri 23-Mar-18 21:56:48


Why on earth give jewellery if it would be put in a drawer?