Gransnet forums

AIBU

Cruel to be kind or AIBU?

(58 Posts)
icbn2802 Tue 10-Apr-18 10:15:45

My daughter's (17) got a trial for a job later this evening. I've been stressing about it since she told me...it's a perfectly acceptable job, reviews are good etc. But I am so worried about her being out and about on her own with quite a substantial journey to get there and back and the hours she will be working (place opens at 7pm). My husband works flexible shifts so not always available to run around. The walk from the train station is almost a mile....and at 10 o'clock at night through a town centre which has a fair few pubs and clubs to pass by....I just don't want her doing it. But AIBU if I air my concerns or must I bite my tongue?
Feeling very stressy ?

Shizam Wed 11-Apr-18 21:43:59

Young male adults are the most likely to be attacked out on the streets. Probably because more of them are out there!
I do understand your fears, though, OP. I fear for myself when I walk home from tube late at night. I stick phone in bra and keys in hand. That way, at least I can get in house and phone for help if I’m mugged. I carry a cheap handbag that they’re welcome to. I have been mugged in the past btw. It’s horrid.

Bluegal Wed 11-Apr-18 22:36:49

I don’t think you are being unreasonable at all. I too walked miles as a youngster often late at night. I wouldn’t let my children do the things I did simply because I was lucky. When one of my daughters got a job with unsociable hours I always met her. She was always grateful as it was a lonely walk through parkland to get a bus! If I couldn’t meet her I gave her money for a taxi. Changed times since I was a teenager I

Jalima1108 Wed 11-Apr-18 23:10:17

She could, of course, be off to university in a few months' time and you wouldn't know what she was doing.
Or going off on a gap year overseas as so many do these days.

Mothers never stop worrying, icbn it comes with the job description. All you can do is teach her to be streetwise which will stand her in good stead wherever she wants to travel.

ajanela Thu 12-Apr-18 06:09:18

Yes I would worry some very good tips given and you have to remind her about safety measures however much it may seem you are making a fuss.

If the walk from the train journey is the home end riding a bic there and leaving it locked up at the station or taking it on the train if the long walk is tbe other end. I would also worry about her riding a bic!

Being in an area where there are pubs and clubs might mean there are people about which might be better than an empty street.

Get her an alarm to carry in her pocket, better than handbag. Or maybe her mobile phone was an app.

While so few people walk at night, often because we are scared, there is no safety in numbers.

Getting a job is important, you learn independace and it shows future employers you are willing to work and you learn about the world.

newnanny Thu 12-Apr-18 14:21:13

Could you pay half the cost of a taxi and your dd the other half? That way you will not have that constant worry and your dd will not have to walk after en evening working on her feet. I think that is what I would offer to do if my dd.

micmc47 Thu 12-Apr-18 16:09:35

If I understand you correctly, she'd be starting work at 7pm and would then be leaving the train station to walk home by 10pm. So in effect, she would be working a daily shift of little more than 2 hours. I would be asking her if she really thinks it's worth the hassle for so little financial return. Her pay would hardly even cover a taxi fare both ways...

Baggs Thu 12-Apr-18 16:15:45

Good work experience though, which isn't always easy to come by. Sticking at it in spite of the difficulties would give her brownie points too.