Weddings/Funerals in particular.

I have been pleasantly surprised to read that it would seem
that in the main, you are all quite canny where spending money is concerned for what can well be both an expensive Wedding........ or indeed Funeral.
It is such a welcome change not having to be attired top to toe in black for funerals nowadays, just like the services
which reflect the joy of the deceased`s life and is more of a celebration .
As for weddings, again a matter of choice and you are so right in saying that recycled clothing can fit the bill nicely.Thankfully gone are those days when you had to have the best and then were stuck with it.............plus that hat!!!.............for probably the rest days of your life, simply taking up space and gathering dust at the back of your wardrobe!!
Like most of you I always have a few sombre clothes that can always do their turn at a funeral,but can well be worn for any other occasion.... adding perhaps a colourful top.Whilst I find Trouser suits have proved a good buy for these more formal requirements plus many other occasions,again very dependant on what you choose to wear as accessories.I have yet not found a hat that does anything for me so the fact they are being chosen less and less,whatever the occasion suits me fine,in fact I heave a great sigh of relief...........something less to buy or worry about!

Having splashed out for a rather special white wedding first time round, my second was totally the opposite and yet the pictures looked equally as lovely.
I wore a simple winter white simple woollen dress with long sleeves trimmed with gold,shoes and hair ornaments in gold and I carried a simple white bible with a spray of Christmas roses (it was a Christmas Wedding)
Which meant I could happily wear the dress time and time again, thus getting good wear whilst my first wedding dress just simply lay in its cover, unused over the years.

As prices have risen.........and I think our ages reflect the fact we are far cannier these days,but we need a good wearing from anything we purchase,whether expensive or a Charity shop find.

Funerals,I think I will by pass talking about that!Although certainly a sure necessity in life!

I've had 2 weddings to go to this year - my niece's in January and my son's last month. I was pleased to find a nice dress and jacket in a charity shop for my niece's just £8 in total. I bought shoes and bag that would do for both for £29 for shoes (supposed to be £79) and £12 for the bag. Treated mysel to a new dress for son's - most I'd spent on a dress at £45!
For my husband funeral nearly 18 months ago I got a navy dress in the sales for £17. Wore it again when my work friends persuaded me to go out on Christmas do. All the men at Alan's funeral wore black but only because they dressed as he always did. He always wore a short sleeved black shirt and black trousers so they all got the same and wore their shirts untucked as he did! At my brother-in-law's funeral 3 years before the brothers and his girlfriend wore Hawaiian shirts as he'd loved it there. The priest commented how lovely they all looked.

Thankfully gone are those days when you had to have the best and then were stuck with it.............plus that hat!!!.............

I thought this habit of buying new clothes for life events was a recent development. When I and my friends were marrying, roughly 1965-75, I do not remember any of us feeling a need to buy new outfits for every wedding. I am not entirely convinced that my mother wore anything new at my wedding, she might have bought a hat.

I go to a lot of weddings and funerals as I'm often asked to do a reading. I did have three wedding outfits, but have put on a bit of weight so I must either slim down (I'm trying!!) or buy another dress for the next wedding, which is in July - hats, shoes and bags are boxed up waiting for the next 'occasion'. As a Chaplain I attend a lot of funerals and I have three black dresses for 'traditional' funerals. Occasionally relatives ask for a certain colour to be worn and I usually wear black or grey with a scarf of the requested colour.

I bought a new black jacket ( to replace an old black jacket) to wear at funerals, and would wear it with a grey skirt and a pale top.
After three AC weddings and not one of them wearing a MOB outfit, just what I felt happy in and would look fine in the photos, I would now wear a dress ( I have several) with
A wrap or a jacket for any weddings, and no hat.
Like most of us, I love a bargain.

Both are massively over-priced and over the top. And it is BIG (massive) business- both. And some would not believe the underhand (undertakers') shenanigans behind the scenes to try and keep their corner of the market.

Both are massively over-priced and over the top. And it is BIG (massive) business- both. And some would not believe the underhand (undertakers') shenanigans behind the scenes to try and keep their corner of the market

Well thanks a bunch jura , soul of tact as usual.
If I didn’t find it so crass and downright thoughtless to those of us recently bereaved (5 months) I might challenge your damning generalisation as being ill- timed and only a matter of opinion anyway.
I wouldn’t have called our daughters’ weddings whatever it was you said either. ?

I plan to have a private burial, then a service of thanksgiving, for both myself and DH. So no funeral clothes will be expected or needed for the service.

As for weddings, I did buy a decent outfit for the weddings of each of my children, for the photos if no other reason.
But I wore one outfit again for a graduation, and the other for a christening. One no longer fits me, though I live in hope. The other hangs in the wardrobe in readiness for a special summer occasion, which never happens. But no regrets that I bought it.
For DD's second wedding, I wore a plain dress I had had for a few years, with new accessories, costing not very much.
There is no need to spend a fortune.
Actually recently I could have bought a Jacques Vert outfit for £29 in a sale!

Extraordinary generalisation from Jura re undertakers. What evidence do you have to back this up? Fortunately, I have only ever had to organise a funeral and the undertaker could not have been kinder, more considerate or more efficient; and worth every penny of his fee.

That should, of course, read 'one funeral.

Hardly surprising from somebody who appears to know so much more about what goes on in the UK than those of us who live here.
Our undertakers are an old family firm, I know both the senior partner and one of the ladies in the office who is a near neighbour and I cannot speak too highly of them.

That has been my experience too anno, and of course they would quickly go out of business of they didn't treat bereaved families with kindness and compassion.

I've got black trousers and sweaters and my ancient Winter coat is black. My less ancient everyday coat is grey and black, no problem to wear black for funeral's . I bought a smart black top for my 85 year old aunt's funeral because she always looked great and loved fashion and I knew I'd wear it again and think of her.
A friend always dressed in flamboyant, bright, in your face colours. At her untimely funeral I wore black out of respect for her mother and siblings. Afterwards several men opened coats to reveal jazzy ties underneath and I pulled out my rainbow scarf from under a black raincoat! It truly was 'what she would have wanted' I'm sure.

anno- plenty, I can assure you.

And of course, there are good, bad and worse- both in UK (40 years experience) and where I currently live.

We also know of friends who were made to feel extremely guilty about trying to limit cost of funerals they could not afford.

of course, kindness and compassion - and cheque book or credit card.

I am not sure either that most weddings and even less funerals are OTT. Most funerals I have attended are cremation services, some with a preceding religious service, with family flowers only and donations to charity and then refreshements at the home or in the local pub. Hardly OTT.

I know there are a significant number of OTT weddings, but most? Not in my experience. Most people cannot afford them.

Recent figures show that a funeral using a funeral director costs on average £4,078*. - which means many cost a lot lot more.

A friend was told, when she tried to cut cost down for her mum's funeral 'oh, I could you possibly not want the best for your mother - surely she deserves the best'- that is quite common.

I am getting quite tired of being told how dreadful things are in the U.K. based on limited experience of 40 years’ residence and extrapolation from what “friends have told me”
The “kindness and compassion and cheque book and credit card” may be your experience, but where a professional service is performed with kindness and compassion at an emotionally fragile time in one’s life, for instance losing ones life partner, please do not pontificate that it is all and only profit driven
I have no problem with paying a fair rate for a professional service and your cynicism jura is both tactless and ill -timed - and frankly only your opinion.

I have a nicely sober, not black, dress that I have worn to a couple of funerals with a black jacket. When my DiL died, she had specified to my DS that no-one should wear black for her funeral, so I wore a pale grey trouser suit with a navy silk shirt, which, while a sober-ish ensemble, was not black. Weddings are a different kettle. I hate them. Fortunately they don’t come around very often these days, but the last three we have been to have meant clothes that have been worn once and then, even though when I bought them the idea was that they could be worn for various informal occasions, have been deliberately passed over. I came across the price labels (goodness knows how they came to be kept) the other day for the outfit I wore to my son’s second wedding - a much more formal affair than the first one - a mind boggling amount of money for clothes that have sat in the wardrobe every since. I doubt they would fit me now.

Recent figures show that a funeral using a funeral director costs on average £4,078
That is the price, jura.
The undertaker’s profit is price minus the cost of providing the service.
Unless you know what the costs of providing the service are, you cannot possibly know whether the undertaker is exploiting people or not.
They are just as entitled to earn their living as anyone else.

I certainly wasn't pushed to spend more than I could afford on a funeral.
I was shown every option, from the budget deal, upwards.

TBH there was no mention of money until the final details were finalised and I was pleasantly surprised.
It’s a time when money really shouldn’t be a consideration , should it?

I wasn't pushed to pay, either.
No pestering, no rushing.
I don't think an undertaker would get away with that attitude.
I also filled in a form after the event which rated every single element of the the whole procedure.

To go back to OP I have never bought anything new for any funeral. Even at my mother's funeral years ago I wore a smart navy skirt and jacket and white blouse which I already had. Currently I have a navy trouser suit that looks smart at funerals (and there have been a few recently of friends and relatives. ) In summer I wear it with a white blouse and some beads and in winter the same suit looks ok with a dark jumper and silky scarf. If its very cold have a black coat I can wear too but it was not bought exclusively for funerals and Ive had it for years. I've not found funerals an expense as a guest -but I know they are expensive to organise. Weddings are a bit different - I've bought new outfits for my children's weddings but I have used them again for other occasions ,including other weddings. But I do think the average cost of weddings today is ridiculous. Thankfully my children's weddings were not too extravagant .

I've got 'a funeral outfit' - skirt, cream and black top and a black jacket.

As I always have a black winter coat that would do too, on a cold day.