Weddings/Funerals in particular.

As for weddings - we haven't been to one for quite a long time but I hope I would have plenty of advance notice so that I could lose weight and slip into a size 10.

I always think one black skirt or pair of trousers look much like another, so it'd be silly to waste money.

jalima it would take more than time for me, it would take a miracle!

Me too, it's just wishful thinking.

And, as my dear aunt told me when I successfully lost a lot of weight many years ago "You look 'drawn', dear, have you been poorly?"

I have been a Mob twice. Both times, I bought something new to wear and was pleased to do so. Neither of the outfits was remotely MOB and I was pleased to be able to get a lot of wear out of them after the wedding.

I dislike the critical and superior attitude many people take to what they call OTT weddings. I had an informal, quiet wedding with a party at home afterwards. That was the norm amongst my close family and friendship group. My daughters and their friends all either have had, or plan huge parties around their weddings. That's their generations' norm. Good luck to them, far be it from me to adopt a superior approach and say something like eh up, we had a quiet wedding, with a cheap frock and food we did ourselves at home (I feel a 3 Yorkshire well in our case, Lancashire women sketch coming on)

Funerals, I once bought a new frock for a funeral because it was to be a very posh do and I didn't have anything particularly suitable. Generally, I wear what feels right for the occasion.

I don't intend to leave instructions for the people who may come to my funeral, they can wear what they like.

Before anyone castigates funeral firms, from my own experience they do a very good job.There are a variety of options and they try to tailor it to your requirements and needs.They are a business of course and a very necessary one! I have never felt ‘duped’or ‘conned’ just grateful for a sympathetic service.

I was of course talking about weddings for our kids/grandkids generation- and the massive up one (wo)manship and 'competition' often prevalent (of course not always.

The average cost of a wedding in the UK has reached an all-time high of £27,161, according to new research in 2017. The OTT bit is leaving couples saddled with debts which are often not repaid by the time of the divorce (partly caused by arguing about money, or lack of) - and not allowing many to afford a deposit fora home or suitable accomodation for them and family.

I am so glad for you lemon- sadly not the experience of many I know.

My experience of funeral companies has also been positive. We have never felt anything other than supported when making decisions and plans.
I stand by my view that it’s up to young (and old) couples what kind of wedding they want. My preference is for less formal, less traditional weddings but I accept I’m out of sych with my adult children and their friends. They live an excuse for a huge part, dressing up is more important to them than its ever been for me. Live and let love

As I have said before - personal not third hand experience has to form the foundation of a valid discussion.
“Research” , “average figures” “many I know” may be all very well, but why ignore those who have personal and recent knowledge of what they are talking about? I would not presume to comment on the cost of e.g.knee surgery in Switzerland but know what my experience has been with Paw’s funeral and do not like being told by somebody who knows nothing about it about “underhand practices” by our (entirely respectable, trustworthy and ultimately kindly) funeral directors.

Maw ? ?

The average cost of a wedding in the UK has reached an all-time high of £27,161, according to new research in 2017

What research is that, jura? Commissioned by Hello magazine, perhaps?

That was a Daily Mail article. But nobody ( except me and a few others) admits to reading it.
jura2
I think it's safe now to come out and admit to reading it. There's nobody here now to put you in the stocks for doing so.

Ah well, the press (and not just the DM) never let the facts get in the way of a “good” story.
(But shows you mustn't take everything they say as verbatim. )

I don't wish to appear confrontational but I have to say I had very good Funeral Directors for both my mother and fathers funerals.

At no time did I feel pressurised , if I did I would have simply said goodbye, thank you for your time but I don't appreciate being put under pressure, bye.

As for weddings on average cost £27.000 and the point made " was of course talking about weddings for our kids/grandkids generation- and the massive up one (wo)manship and 'competition' often prevalent (of course not always.". Then surely that is up to the family if they want to play the one upmanship game and if they do then they simply pay up and accept that is their decision and theirs only.

The same principle applies to clothing and I don't agree that black clothing " notoriously carried a higher price tag " as the OP says. I guess we are all different .

No recent experience of weddings, but at my DH funeral a few months ago I specified no black, and no flowers except those we had on the coffin. My favourite uncle always said flowers are for the living. Many of our friends live abroad and could not come to the funeral in UK, so it was a very simple but moving ceremony. Donations were to be sent to Birmingham Children's Hospital who saved our GS life.

I read the DM, which is very uncritical of the survey results it publishess. I think that price survey was originally compiled by a wedding magazine from responses from its readers. It is inevitably going to reflect the expenditure of the kind of people who buy those magazines and dream of that type of wedding.

Many couples do not want that kind of wedding, even though they probably could afford it and many more couples can't afford to even dream of that type of wedding. 15 years ago DS &DDiL's wedding cost £5,000, even allowing for inflation today it would still come in well under £10,000. It was a church wedding with the reception in the church hall. DDiL's sister will have a similar wedding this year.

Personally, I have noticed that there seems to be an inverse relationship between the sucess of a marriage and the cost of the wedding. The most successful marriages I know are ones that had happy inexpensive weddings where everybody rallied round to contribute to the day.

As previous gransnetters have said Charity shops! Posh clothes are often only worn once or twice before ending up there and are sold off cheaply because many people will only buy new, I've bought lovely stuff for weddings, funerals, cruises. Why spend a lot for something you won't wear often?

I hardly ever buy new stuff now apart from underwear. I get most of my clothes from charity shops. Even when my OH and I went on a cruise and needed formal wear I managed to pick up some lovely dresses, jackets and skirts from local hospice shops. I felt - and looked - every bit as smart as anyone else. It is good to know that you are helping a good cause and that preloved items are being recycled. My DD is a big fan of charity shopping too so it is not just our generation who frequent their outlets!

Many funerals these days ask for no black to be worn so that makes it easier. When my eldest son married 8 years ago, I fell in love with a designer outfit by Linea Raffaelli but it cost a grand. My DD and DIL insisted I treated myself as I loved it so much, so I did. I was then very amused to read the label inside “ not intended for continuous use “ !! I have since worn it to Ladies Day at Ascot, plus another friends wedding ... and as it’s a 3 piece ... skirt, beaded bodice and bolero jacket .. I have worn the bodice on holiday, plus a couple of dressy occasions, so am getting a little bit of my money’s worth !!

I don't wear black and I will never wear black. Like the Queen, I try to always wear bright colours. At a funeral a couple of years ago we were asked to wear pink because that had been the deceased's favourite colour. The nearest I come to any form of 'mourning' is a smart navy blue.

For my funeral I've let it be known that, while I don't specify wearing pink, you can wear pink, blue, green, any colour or combination thereof just so long as it is NOT black.

As for weddings, haven't been to one recently. The last time I did I wore a smart David Nieper dress with ivory jacket, and a hat that I keep for those occasions.

Centuries past black was the colour that rich people wore. As hard to fix as a dye, hence the finery of Blackadder. Was it also included in the sumptuary laws? Surely most of us have a little black dress that can do? The poster that wrote about her new daughter in law wearing designer secondhand was right, if you look around lovely outfits can be put together. If you stray into the wedding shops, yes you will probably be taken advantage of. Happy hunting.?

The day before DH's funeral I thought I was sorted with what I was going to wear, but then as I walked out of the lift in Sainsbury's I saw the most beautiful navy check coat which DH would have loved on me, so of course I bought it and wore it. I wanted to look good for him, so had my hair done a couple of days before, wore the full make up and the jewellery that he'd bought me at Christmas. I asked people not to wear black for the funeral. So glad that the tradition of black at funerals is not as widespread as it was. DD's wedding, I bought a new outfit which looked lovely, but never worn it since.

I attended a wedding and a funeral last year and wore the same dress! It was black and white. I dressed it up for the wedding and down for the funeral!

Lots of people buy a 'posh frock' to wear to a do, only want to wear it once and then sell it on ebay. Even brides and bridesmaids get their dresses on ebay. There are fantastic bargains to be had - my SIL got 2 Monsoon dresses for £10 on ebay, as she had 2 weddings to go to. It should be the first place you look!