Weddings/Funerals in particular.

mabon1, the remark about grammar was uncalled for.

My late father loved my mother to wear bright colours. She told everyone not to go down the traditional route clothes-wise for his funeral. She herself chose to wear the outfit he liked best on her; and the rest of us wore whatever we liked and felt good in. A sad occasion - but it was much easier to think of it as a celebration of his life as a result.

Why not? Go for it

In which century do you people live????

Maw I meant!

Agreed Mae. That remark was uncalled for.

Your grammar needs attention

Whose mabon?

Maybe somebody’s manners need likewise

Never one to pass up a bargain I wore a dress I bought at a car boot sale for £1 to my sons wedding. I did shell out for my own second wedding though - dress cost £12 in the sales!

Your grammar needs attention

I'm with wildswan16 and other posters here. If I go to a funeral (MiL's was last year) then I will wear what I have in my wardrobe. It's ages since I went to a wedding - I might buy a new outfit but then I'd use it for years! And I find that charity shops can be a brilliant source for smart clothing. No need to spend a fortune.

When I got married the last time (!) the whole day including food for 80 people, clothes for wedding party, flowers etc. came to less than £500 and we had the most wonderful day!! It can be done...!!!! ?

I went Exeter Horse racing course to a Ladies Day and was picked to be in the best dressed woman competition. I had on a dress that I had purchased from a Chinese company on the internet for £14, a pair of shoe for £1 from the sales, a £2 bolero from a charity shop and an old hat that I had customised with flowers and feathers.
My 3 friends had on very expensive outfits and they weren’t picked. To top it off I was the only one to win on the horses coming away with £78.

There are no hard and fast rules what clothes we should or should not wear at weddings and funerals. However I believe a funeral warrants respect and would carry out the wishes of the bereaved.

And DH's funeral cost about the same as you paid, Maw. I was not going to quibble about cost for such an important event and we all wanted him to have the best send-off.

My son had an eco friendly wedding. His suit, the wedding dress and mothers clothes all came recycled from eBay and charity shops. We walked from the chapel to the reception which was a simple meal in a local restaurant and the cake was a supermarket sponge with extra decorations. It was a beautiful, low cost wedding

We are invited to a friends Sons Wedding in July the dress code is black suit, when I rang to reply, I asked what ladies should wear I was told a knee length dress it doesnt need to be a long dress!! This is a normal Swedish Wedding but they do tend to go over the top here, my dress when I have bought it will be a nice summer dress and I am sure nobody will notice I will just mingle and be unnoticed I hope!

Lots of people buy a 'posh frock' to wear to a do, only want to wear it once and then sell it on ebay. Even brides and bridesmaids get their dresses on ebay. There are fantastic bargains to be had - my SIL got 2 Monsoon dresses for £10 on ebay, as she had 2 weddings to go to. It should be the first place you look!

I attended a wedding and a funeral last year and wore the same dress! It was black and white. I dressed it up for the wedding and down for the funeral!

The day before DH's funeral I thought I was sorted with what I was going to wear, but then as I walked out of the lift in Sainsbury's I saw the most beautiful navy check coat which DH would have loved on me, so of course I bought it and wore it. I wanted to look good for him, so had my hair done a couple of days before, wore the full make up and the jewellery that he'd bought me at Christmas. I asked people not to wear black for the funeral. So glad that the tradition of black at funerals is not as widespread as it was. DD's wedding, I bought a new outfit which looked lovely, but never worn it since.

Centuries past black was the colour that rich people wore. As hard to fix as a dye, hence the finery of Blackadder. Was it also included in the sumptuary laws? Surely most of us have a little black dress that can do? The poster that wrote about her new daughter in law wearing designer secondhand was right, if you look around lovely outfits can be put together. If you stray into the wedding shops, yes you will probably be taken advantage of. Happy hunting.?

I don't wear black and I will never wear black. Like the Queen, I try to always wear bright colours. At a funeral a couple of years ago we were asked to wear pink because that had been the deceased's favourite colour. The nearest I come to any form of 'mourning' is a smart navy blue.

For my funeral I've let it be known that, while I don't specify wearing pink, you can wear pink, blue, green, any colour or combination thereof just so long as it is NOT black.

As for weddings, haven't been to one recently. The last time I did I wore a smart David Nieper dress with ivory jacket, and a hat that I keep for those occasions.

Many funerals these days ask for no black to be worn so that makes it easier. When my eldest son married 8 years ago, I fell in love with a designer outfit by Linea Raffaelli but it cost a grand. My DD and DIL insisted I treated myself as I loved it so much, so I did. I was then very amused to read the label inside “ not intended for continuous use “ !! I have since worn it to Ladies Day at Ascot, plus another friends wedding ... and as it’s a 3 piece ... skirt, beaded bodice and bolero jacket .. I have worn the bodice on holiday, plus a couple of dressy occasions, so am getting a little bit of my money’s worth !!

I hardly ever buy new stuff now apart from underwear. I get most of my clothes from charity shops. Even when my OH and I went on a cruise and needed formal wear I managed to pick up some lovely dresses, jackets and skirts from local hospice shops. I felt - and looked - every bit as smart as anyone else. It is good to know that you are helping a good cause and that preloved items are being recycled. My DD is a big fan of charity shopping too so it is not just our generation who frequent their outlets!

As previous gransnetters have said Charity shops! Posh clothes are often only worn once or twice before ending up there and are sold off cheaply because many people will only buy new, I've bought lovely stuff for weddings, funerals, cruises. Why spend a lot for something you won't wear often?

I read the DM, which is very uncritical of the survey results it publishess. I think that price survey was originally compiled by a wedding magazine from responses from its readers. It is inevitably going to reflect the expenditure of the kind of people who buy those magazines and dream of that type of wedding.

Many couples do not want that kind of wedding, even though they probably could afford it and many more couples can't afford to even dream of that type of wedding. 15 years ago DS &DDiL's wedding cost £5,000, even allowing for inflation today it would still come in well under £10,000. It was a church wedding with the reception in the church hall. DDiL's sister will have a similar wedding this year.

Personally, I have noticed that there seems to be an inverse relationship between the sucess of a marriage and the cost of the wedding. The most successful marriages I know are ones that had happy inexpensive weddings where everybody rallied round to contribute to the day.