AIBU to live in hope that even controversial threads can avoid personal abuse?

'Oldmeg - "Or is it lack of education" '

How bloody condescending angry More than angry. Bloody livid.

I felt the same way too Petra It was totally uncalled for. I think that is the sort of sneering remark that creates unpleasantness.

"There is a whole raft of human behaviour out there, and I would not be happy to see things diluted on these forums."

I agree with much of your post Izabella.
Like many other posters, I tend not to mince my words, but I like to think I am fair and compassionate too.

I'd hate it if all we could post were "I agree. You are right. I love you" messages. How awful would that be? Why would anybody bother read Gransnet?

There are often posters who write when they are feeling very down/troubled/depressed about a situation. They may not be looking for sympathy but if it's given, along with constructive advice then that's when (imo) Gransnet is at it's best.

Why would anyone knock someone when they are down?

I quite like the feisty posters who tell it like it is. The ones that stand out are the ones who are never nasty.

"I quite like the feisty posters who tell it like it is. The ones that stand out are the ones who are never nasty."

Exactly Day6

I've been on GN for a couple of years now and, compared to when I first joined, it's a haven of peace and harmony! Until earlier this year, it was almost impossible to join any News & Politics threads unless your were pretty far left or wore a hard hat and full body armour! Whilst it can still be robust, its nothing like as cut throat as it used to be. The relationships threads do seem to attract some who like to hurt, either by being harsh in their comments or judging without knowing what it's like to be estranged from a family member.

"The relationships threads do seem to attract some who like to hurt, either by being harsh in their comments or judging without knowing what it's like to be estranged from a family member"
Indeed they do Chewbacca which is a pity! I agree that the politics thread discussions have improved

I think interjectors, on the "cut out of their lives" thread, if they aren't going through that experience themselves, aren't particularly helpful when they criticize those who are living through such an unhappy experience. I have seen the occasional poster who will smugly go on to relate how successful their own family dynamics are with the implication that the family estrangements are down to the posters themselves. As is often stated by the contributors, it is a support thread. Sometimes you have to live experiences to understand them.

I meant comment not criticise. Nevertheless, as others have said, if you aren't going through estrangement yourself, I'm not sure what positive contribution could be made to that thread.

I have noticed sometimes on threads that people get very heated and write what I would call unpleasant remarks. Luckily, no-one has every written unkindly about my posts (perhaps they are inwardly cross sometimes although I try not to offend).

If I don't like the way a post is heading, I just stop contributing to it for one thing and basically ignore the quarrels between one or two posters.

We are all different but I think, if I really disagreed with someone, I'd try and put my comments as pleasantly as possible.

Sorry, I ought to have written ever written in second sentence of my first paragraph.

It's difficult sometimes in the heat of the moment Melanie when one feels very strongly about something,the post is out there. Also the post does not always read the way the poster intended.

I think the most confrontational people left, and its so much nicer without them.

Amen to that MissA!

on 'contraversial' threads I try hard to stick to facts, challenge what I believe is not based on truth. But being human I do not always succeed! I will also challenge total nonsense

The political threads are calmer because some topics are not mentioned .

I think most people will always challenge total nonsense PECS but what constitutes total nonsense depends on your own views.Nobody should challenge anything though, if they are not prepared for comeback.

GN is far better in the last year, and yes Annie you are right!

Wow hard to believe that comments were even more vitriolic a few years back! I have found one or two people on here hell bent on being nasty and personal, especially on the political forums. One of them has even commented on this discussion on how unnecessary it is. ??. On the whole most people are nice though I must say.

Believe it Poppy

The relationships threads should always be above any cut and thrust such as the politics and news threads, it takes courage to ‘bare all’ and deserves a respectful reply.

lemon ?

Poppyred avoid political threads and Royal Family threads

If I disagree face to face with friends/sisters I do it in a nice way. I think we should endeavour to treat GNetters the same. I'm sure I don't always manage but I try. In some ways its more important on GN because you can hurt someone and not have an opportunity to undo it. So GN can be counterproductive.

Some good comments on this thread. It would indeed be a very boring site if we were all in agreement at all times, on all issues. That said, as many have already posted it isn't necessary to be rude or aggressive because your point of view differs to some one else.

Lemon "it takes courage to bare all and deserves a respectful reply", so true.

I sometimes think that there is a mistaken assumption that those who do post on the relationships forum, are simply looking for total agreement. Another point of view is always worthy of consideration but at times it's how that point of view is expressed that causes upset.

It always saddens me when a poster feels unable to continue to post, because they've been upset by ill informed and confrontational responses.

Often, they are the very people who at that time, are in need of all the support they can find.

Last comment very true Smileless

I stick by the "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" mantra.
I never read the politics threads. If I come across something I majorly don't agree with on a thread, I leave and bore DH with the details and my opinions
I'm not affraid to post an opinion but don't want to get into trading insults etc. with other posters.

I agree Nina the Nana. I don't let people to shout at me with their views in "real life" so don't want it on line..

We all have different experiences and circumstances in our lives; plus there is also a wide age spectrum from 40s to much older. We should listen to the input of everyone, even if we disagree, without making people feel uncomfortable and insulted. This is part of being a community.

A few years ago there were one or two people who just worked on screwing up any political threads.....not at the time of the referendum particularly. The tone is better now I believe and should.continue so I don't feel the need to leave.