Gransnet forums


AIBU to live in hope that even controversial threads can avoid personal abuse?

(107 Posts)
Iam64 Fri 15-Jun-18 18:51:51

That’s it really. I don’t claim to the moral high ground.
I try to avoid personal abuse but like most posters, I’ve been known to fail.

Oldwoman70 Fri 15-Jun-18 18:59:14

I have been thinking the same myself Iam. I understand people are passionate about some subjects but I think they should be able to argue their position without resorting to personal abuse.

Ilovecheese Fri 15-Jun-18 19:05:13

What sort of thing do you consider to be personal abuse? Could you give an example without naming names?

Iam64 Fri 15-Jun-18 19:47:18

Good question Ilovecheese. I started the thread because I felt a bit dispirited by comments that were bouncing between some posters, which I felt edged beyond disagreement about points of view, belief systems, political leanings and so on. I enjoy discussing politics, news etc but I don’t feel discussions benefit when nasty personal comments are made. Nope, don’t suppose we I can answer your question without naming names. Maybe I had my Pollyanna hat on and should stay on the gardening page.

Lazigirl Fri 15-Jun-18 19:53:26

I think it mainly occurs on the political threads which these days I try to avoid, where people often hold firmly entrenched and passionate views, and don't wish to engage in a constructive debate with those whose views differ from their own, and posts are liable to become quite personal. I think this is inevitable where sex and politics are discussed. It happens in RL too.

Bluegal Fri 15-Jun-18 20:04:33

I am relatively new to Gransnet but have never seen any personal abuse comments or at least I don't think I have.
But like all forums, people are people and some will love to be argumentative - just for the heck of it!

Ilovecheese Fri 15-Jun-18 20:09:15

I feel like you Bluegal, people do disagree strongly, but I don't think I have actually seen any personal abuse.

varian Fri 15-Jun-18 20:20:31

I think that the problem may be related to people being offended by statistics. For instance, in the discussions of brexit, the most important and divisive issue of our times, if someone says that Leave voters tended to be less well educated, an angry leaver might say "I've got a double first from Cambridge and I voted leave" which of course proves nothing, but it is unlikely that the double first was in logic and statistics.

phoenix Fri 15-Jun-18 20:21:49

No, unfortunately not only the political threads, quite unpleasant comments on a thread about rodents recently sad

GrandmaMoira Fri 15-Jun-18 20:23:44

I do agree but feel a lot of people are quite unable to discuss differing political views amicably.

OldMeg Fri 15-Jun-18 20:34:22


is unlikely that the double first was in logic and statistics


GrannyGravy13 Fri 15-Jun-18 20:46:55

I feel uncomfortable when threads sway towards personal insults. We all have differing opinions, we are grown ups and as such should be able to discuss without the need to attack another poster for their religious, political beliefs or even monetary status.

OldMeg Fri 15-Jun-18 20:50:56

GrannyGravy but are we all ‘grown ups’, or is it lack of education?

How many were taught debating skills at school?

JustALaugh Fri 15-Jun-18 20:51:47

ooh dearie me

Jalima1108 Fri 15-Jun-18 21:03:32

I was just going to post something but thought it could be construed as personal so may refrain.

Jalima1108 Fri 15-Jun-18 21:05:05

on second thoughts - please, asking very politely varian, could we have one thread that doesn't refer to Brexit?

Does a PhD in a particular type of Science prove anything?

Jalima1108 Fri 15-Jun-18 21:06:34

You may regret starting this thread Iam64

lack of education? Does GN have rules on how educated someone must be before they are allowed to post?
I didn't realise

GrannyGravy13 Fri 15-Jun-18 21:07:57

OldMeg I hope you didn't mean that as it came across. Some of us have been fortunate in our education, some have worked their socks off!! We have all had to learn how to 'deal with' people and situations. Gransnetters are here for virtual friendships and contact with the outside world. "Debating skills at school" really!!!

annodomini Fri 15-Jun-18 22:18:17

I must have missed the requirement to submit my CV and academic record when I joined Gransnet. Somehow I sneaked in!

As for debating skills. In my experience (sorry, no CV available), debating rules can be taught; skills can be acquired only through observation and practice.

petra Fri 15-Jun-18 22:20:17

Or is it lack of education. How bloody condescending angry
More than angry. Bloody livid.

petra Fri 15-Jun-18 22:25:10

You wonder why people get personal?
Oldmegs post says it all: attitude!!

annep Fri 15-Jun-18 22:28:33

Iam64 I have seen some posts that are maybe a little bit blunt. I do think people should discuss without rudeness yes. I think we manage it. Correct me if I'm wrong. I love gransnet. I wish people could be like that in real life.

annep Fri 15-Jun-18 23:13:25

I take back what I said. I've just been on a post where a lady is hurt at not receiving a card on a special occasion. And some comments are rude and hurtful. No need.

sodapop Sat 16-Jun-18 08:37:11

I agree to an extent but I wouldn't like to see GN become any more bland than it is already.
There is always the option to withdraw if you are not happy with the tone of the posts.

gillybob Sat 16-Jun-18 08:44:50

I would say it’s definitely lack of education . I passed the 11+ went to grammar school. What a waste. Left at 16, got a job (because I was told I had to) got pregnant at 18, the rest is history.