AIBU to feel a little bit hurt?

In fairness, you're married, not joined at the hip! I would be glad he has things he does on his own - I well remember my mother saying, when she retired after my father, he wanted to do everything with her, and she found it really claustrophobic!

Cabbie didn't say she wanted to go with her husband.
She just wanted him to show interest in what she would be doing while he was away.

Are we missing something here BlueBelle ? I agree with you but seems we are in the minority. I often forget to mention an arrangement to my husband but I am definitely not having rampant sex elsewhere.

Cabbie, I know that feeling...things ought to be fine but they don't " feel " quite right.

I guess maybe pay attention to that feeling, its probably important.
I think where he is going is significant too.

Maddy he didn’t just up and leave her she knew for ten days the big fuss is because he didn’t ask her what she was going to be doing while he was away oh my word what a storm in a thimble
It s a long standing arrangement that everyone is happy with except he changed the days and didn’t inform Cabbie in enough time for her comfort now everyone on here is making him out to be some bad husband with an ulterias motive, hung drawn and quartered
Poor bloke

mumofmadboys it definitely is!?

I would be upset if my husband just up and left me alone for a whole weekend but if as you say you are happy on your own then I don't see the problem, so yes YABU, just a little bit. Have a lovely weekend though

Definitely is a strong word.

He gavc her notice. Hd didnt discuss. She on the other hand passed up a possible trip because it was on a weekend. She should have pointed this out to hin though. There's definitely a communication problem.

BUT he didn't just take himself off he gave her 10 days notice,surely if it was an issue she could have spoken to him about it .As she didn't he thought she was OK with it

Some posters seem to be reading a lot into this, from very flimsy clues.
If you normally do things together at the weekend, it could be a little hurtful that he's decided to take himself off and has shown no interest in what you'll be doing.
I hope you're enjoying the peace and quiet anyway.

From some responses on this thread there would seem to be very little trust amongst couples.
Relate, private detectives etc all because a husband was a bit thought less in not sharing his plans.
Or am I being naive ?

Bluebelle I see nothing wrong in your partner asking if you mind him going off for the weekend if you are both usually at home together.

...He usually goes during the week when I am busy with my voluntary work and other commitments...

...Now it is the weekend and I have nothing particular on. If I had had a bit more notice, I might have arranged something, a weekend away

Cabbie,

I would feel hurt if my H was deliberately avoiding me. It doesn't sound like that's what's happening here, It's likely he's just assumed you had better things to do on a weekend.

If DH had known ahead of time that you wanted to go away with him for the weekend, he likely would have been happy to plan that getaway with you.

Going forward, discuss your weekends together, preemptively. Don't presume the other is a mind reader!

Maybe you guys need to spend more time talking to each other more. Communication is everything!

I am the one who communicates, Bluegal!

DH is quite happy with his routines and mine. we are both quite busy but we reserve time together too. This weekend is out of our normal pattern.

Unfortunately for me, the hot weather has put paid to some of my plans. Better to stay in and keep cool than go out for the sake of it and fry and feel ill.( see the thread on disliking the heat).

I think 10 days is sufficient notice if it is for a genuine visit to close family. My family would generally not make visit plans further ahead than that unless they lived a fair distance and were coming to stay for more than a night.

My 2p worth FWIW Sounds like your life is really busy during the week which doesn't include your husband? Maybe he is exercising a bit of tit for tat?

BUT I understand you somewhat....its communication isn't it? If he told you he was going visiting his daughter this weekend, you would have been happy to arrange things for yourself?

Just ask yourself: Do YOU keep him posted at all times with what you are doing? If not, then maybe he needs more communication from you. If you do; then maybe he just didn't think! You sound so self sufficient he perhaps hadn't thought it would be a problem?

I say this at work all the time ....COMMUNICATION is the key - stops any misunderstandings or people feeling left out etc.

I don't want to make you feel worse, but I would be a bit hurt too. It's not a huge thing, (so often, men just don't think) but you wouldn't want him to make a habit of it. Maybe it would be worth mentioning to him how it made you feel.

Agree with Lollee, rather suspicious. Private detective? Or ring and ask daughter if you can speak to him?

That’s not nice .... no yanbu ... talk to him about it .. for goodness sake you are his wife ... shoddy treatment In a life that is just to short should never be tolerated by the one who’s supposed to love and cherish you ....

If you usually do things together at the weekend, I understand why you are feeling slightly hurt, and I don't think you are being unreasonable.

As you say he usually goes during the week when you are busy with voluntary work and so on, but it probably never dawned on him that going at the weekend might throw out your plans.

Try not to take it to heart. If you can manage not to sound hurt, you could ask him whether visiting at the weekend suits them better, or was only on this particular occasion. Obviously, if it is to be a regular thing, you should be consulted as to whether it suits you.

I can’t see the problem. You are planning a nice weekend and you enjoy time on your own. You wouldn’t have wanted to go with him anyway. If there are things you want to go to in the future just arrange it then tell him you will be away

Having read all op's posts again I find it even more worrying. Doesn't call or text while away? Are the midweek visits overnight then? Doesn't talk about it on return....surely there would be a 'how is she (and family?)'. I have learned not to ask.........that sounds weird too! Whilst I dont find a weekly visit to a child strange, I do if it is an overnighter each time and if there is family, or is she single with no kids. Oh dear now my mind is buzzing.........is she his daughter?
Guess you'll all be mad at me for that one but stranger things happen. However, I certainly would enjoy time apart if I had a hisband, but would find it strange not to converse about what we had both done and family gossip etc.

My OH told me Tuesday that he was going camping in a tent with DGD age 3 and DS2 to Woolacombe on Wednesday for the night. I was v happy to have peace and quiet for a change. By the same token I sometimes go to my friend's home for a few days at short notice. We have been married 40 yrs so something different and spontaneous is very welcome. Enjoy the peace.

Gosh, I am sure there must be something wrong with my thought processes because I would be more interested in what HE is doing on these weekly visits, especially as he is secretive on his return.